Moviette

Dorf on Golf / Dorf's Golf Bible (1986)

2011-11-25T07:23:00.002-06:00

As a Tim Conway fan from way (way) back, I have long wanted to see all the Dorf sketches, however, this service has not stocked 3 of its 4 titles for more than 5 years. So when I found the second-to-last copy of all 8 sketches on one DVD in a Hastings store discount table last weekend, I decided $5 was probably a good investment. Have to say though that the material is seriously dated and rarely elicits a chuckle. I laugh now and then at the ridiculous shorts he sports and the swooping stances of Dorf the top-heavy dwarf (physical humor) but the actual stunts (sight gags) and script (punch lines) are numbingly predictable or pedestrian. Vince Schiavelli plays a dumb and disinterested caddy who barely comes across as dumb and disinteresting in Dorf on Golf. The actual Sam Snead cackles his way obnoxiously through Dorf's Golf Bible (where the Bible narrator trope that begins "In the beginning, God invented golf" almost palatably holds the sketch together). You get Tim Conway's Mr. Tudball accent and mild sarcasm throughout (the best part but far beneath his work with Carol Burnett). Too bad Michele Smith as Boom-Boom Larue can't even act the part of a talentless bimbo. 2 stars.

Starz Studios: The Ides of March / The Three Musketeers / The Mighty Macs... (2011)

2011-11-16T21:36:00.002-06:00

Robo review: This 12-minute Starz Studios featurette aptly previews the following movies: The Ides of March (3 min), The Three Musketeers (2 min), The Mighty Macs (2.5 min), Hugo (2 min), Martha Mary May Marlene (1 min), and Young Adult (1 min). The best previews are, in descending order: The Ides of March (5 stars), The Three Musketeers (5 stars), The Mighty Macs (5 stars), and Martha Marcy May Marlene (5 stars). Since I have seen The Ides of March and Martha Mary May Marlene and cannot become more enamored of these two excellent movies, I found the previews for The Mighty Macs and The Three Musketeers greatly informed and interested me while those for Hugo (2.5 stars) and Young Adult (1 star) did little to pique my tepid interest in them. 3.5 stars.

Starz Studios: Zookeeper / Horrible Bosses (2011)

2011-07-16T23:35:00.002-05:00

This 12-min Starz Studios featurette profiles the following movies: Zookeeper, Horrible Bosses, Larry Crowne, Beat Rhymes & Life, Transformers: Dark of the Moon (focusing on production of the flightsuit scenes), and Torchwood: Miracle Day. I found all but one of the presentations to hold my interest well and increase my already positive desire to see the films. It's just 12 minutes so catch this featurette while you can. 3.5 stars.

Robot Chicken Star Wars (2007)

2011-06-15T00:42:00.002-05:00

Robot Chicken: Star Wars is an Annie Award-winning 22-minute compilation of 35 Star Wars-related snippets, some reused from seasons 1-2. Remember that Robot Chicken stopmotion is fast-paced, edgy, and ranges from quizzical to hilarious and RC:SW is no exception -- but with plenty of great original sequences and laughter. The disc includes (* = best): Opening (Palpatine rebuilds RC as Vader), 2 (Luke's grenade surprises AT-AT pilot on toilet), 3* (Palpatine takes collect call from Vader after Death Star destruction: "I love you too"), 4 (Jawa orders "Martini!" at cantina), 5 (custodian sweeps up body of Darth Maul), 6 (Admiral Ackbar cereal commercial), 7* (cantina lightsaber victim as innocent architect pranked by drunk coworker then laid off), 8 (3PO sets off airport metal detector), 9 (Qui-Gon drops lightsaber and it cuts through numerous decks), 10 (Vader's helmet gets stuck), 11* (Imperial officer explains to recruits how crew humors Vader's imagined choking power), 12 (Luke remembers he has no family to tell of victory), 13 (SW nerd dressed as tauntaun saves George Lucas from mob of fans), 14 (Luke's blast shield down, Obi-Wan knees him in groin), 15 (space slugs order out for Chinese), 16 (custodian sweeps up body of Mace Windu), 17* (George W. Bush fantasizes he is a Jedi, has numerous encounters), 18 (Cloud City weather report: "cloudy"), 19 (Han Solo's tauntaun already has an occupant), 20* (Luke holds Yo Mama fight with Palpatine), 21 (custodian sweeps up body of Palpatine), 22 (Solo's "reactor leak" bluff does not go as planned), 23 (Jar Jar fatally exasperates Vader), 24 (Luke enjoys Tosche Station strippers), 25* (Boba Fett gloats over Solo in carbonite, gets creepy), 26 (Chewbacca combs self), 27* (Vader reveals to Luke "I am your father" and other anticlimactic spoilers), 28* (Palpatine's speech is interrupted by construction noises), 29 (Lobot disco dances), 30 (Max Rebo's Greatest Hits commercial), 31 (Conan O'Brien-style parody show invites a Death Star visit), 32* (Luke and Leia apres incest), 33 (Empire on Ice! musical), 34 (SW theme music sung as RC chicken bawks), 35 (luminous Jar Jar annoys Vader). 4 stars. (6-15-11)

Priceless (2006)

2011-06-08T08:42:00.002-05:00

Priceless is a memorable French love story about Irene (Audrey Tautou), a sexy Gold Coast gold-digger, who mistakes the fumbling hotel bartender Jean (Gad Elmaleh) for a rich jet-set businessman. Their dalliance eventually costs her a liaison she has built over two years with a rich old sugar daddy, three months from a marriage where she would be "set for life." She sets her mind (and hooks) on a series of other rich old men but her heart is not in it whenever she sees Jean at the five-star hotel she frequents in Monaco. Meanwhile, Jean has been picked up by a rich attractive widow as Irene coaches Jean (who I would call the French Hugh Grant) in how to play his benefactress for as many gifts as possible: "You have to get everything you can get. We have the power of youth and charm." However, Jean realizes he must choose what he wants and why -- expensive gifts or an impossible love. Priceless is a sweet romantic comedy with a steady stream of situational mishaps that the couple must negotiate to get away with their harebrained schemes and find time to be together. You also get to see the daily routines of life in some of the world's best hotels as employees make beds, provide turndown service, prepare food, and so on. 4.5 stars.

Super Capers (Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion) (2008)

2011-06-08T08:17:00.002-05:00

Super Capers is a campy, fun spoof of superhero movies -- much as if Mystery Men or Zoom: Academy for Suoerheroes met up with Kick-Ass. You should watch Super Capers if you like corny movies like Mystery Men, The Big Hit, The Big Bus, and Big Trouble. Otherwise, skip it or you may just get peeved. Our story begins as Ed Gruberman (Justin Whalin), a would-be superhero who is looking for his secret powers, is following a mysterious woman down a dark alley. He two-by-fours a robber who accosts her, only to find out she is a self-styled superhero named Red (Christine Lakin). After Gruberman gets sued by the thief and his oozy lawyer (Tom Sizemore), Judge (Michael Rooker) commits him to a superhero halfway house headed by Sarge (Tommy Lister) and populated by alpha male Will Powers (Ryan McPartlin), Felicia Freeze (Danielle Harris), the metakinetic Brainard (Sam Lloyd), technical wizard Q (Oliver Muirhead), a pint-sized Schwarzeneggerian robot (Pancho Moler), and, for comic relief, Pufferboy (Ray Griggs), who inflates like a puffer fish every time he gets nervous. The plot gets more convoluted than you would expect (including some time travel) and the movie is full of fanboy references to Star Wars, Star Trek, Back to the Future, James Bond, and more. I had a good time laughing my way through this serving of silliness and I hope you do too. 4 stars. (6-8-11)

Surrogates (2009)

2011-06-08T07:52:00.003-05:00

Surrogates is something like Eagle Eye meets I, Robot -- except we are the robots (simulacra driven by virtual reality interfaces, actually) and the global assault threatens all of humanity (except the Luddite yahoos who live in squalid camps who would be the only survivors). It's a very nicely done story on a sci-fi subject I would be hard-pressed to find tackled elsewhere. (WALL-E showed what would happen if humanity's survivors tooled around on ad-blasted virtual-reality couches: Can you say Blimp My Ride? So what would happen to the human spirit if all real-world, face-time interaction -- with its attendant risks and rewards -- were performed by designer-model human surrogates while flesh-and-blood people never left their homes?) Bruce Willis plays his blonde-haired plainclothes-cop simulacra, investigating and chasing bad guys out in the real world, as well as his unplugged self getting slapped around in helicopters, cars, and other conveyances when it is the only way to save the world. James Cromwell is the creator of surrogate technology, forced out of his company and now playing more than one role in the lethal endgame. Surrogates is action-packed like Die Hard but with technology like Eagle Eye and a few nods to pathos like AI. I like it better than I, Robot. 4.5 stars. (6-8-11)

Inquiring Nuns (1968)

2011-06-02T22:32:00.003-05:00

Inquiring Nuns is a simple, innocent, and sometimes charming approach to street journalism: Two novice nuns are turned loose in the streets of Chicago with a microphone and tape recorder and no training (other than how to point the microphone). Keep in mind this is in 1968, the year of the Democratic Convention and other turbulent Sixties events. Their task is simply to ask anyone they find "Are you happy?" and record people's replies, inviting further comments if possible. (Apparently, a cameraman also followed them around.) While some footage was taken outside of a Catholic church or two, where more replies were religious (esp. from a quartet of seminarians), hearing people's candid comments about their emotional state and personal values is largely a rewarding pastime. Since these were the 1960s, however, I suspect people were more oriented towards faith and social values than the commercial and consumer values that seem to prevail today. (By the way, I had to acquire this disc from a competing service since it has been a Save title here forever.) Inquiring Nuns is a laid-back Sixties sojourn where maybe you can mellow out and similarly reflect on what is most important in life. 3 stars.

Sea Wife (1957)

2011-06-02T22:03:00.002-05:00

Imagine a Casablanca-like postscript on a story like The African Queen or Heaven Knows Mr. Allison, but not as well written and acted, and you would have Sea Wife. Our story opens years after the supposedly harrowing but mostly humdrum survival at sea of four (er, three) occupants of a lifeboat. Apparently, they dealt with the trauma of their ship being sunk by the Japanese and finding themselves, four strangers, in what might be the sole surviving lifeboat by referring to each other only by nicknames: Bulldog, Cannon, Sea Wife, and Number Four. They refrain from divulging personal details of their lives back in society and Sea Wife (Joan Collins) esp. abstains from divulging that she is a nun. (She was passing children into a lifeboat when she lost her religious robes.) Still she observes her faith by quietly praying so that the others may not hear and later refusing the romantic advances of Cannon (Richard Burton), who late in life decides to seek her out. He just misses her at the end, walking right past her, dressed in the habit of her religious order. When her superior comments that he did not recognize the woman he loved, she replies, "Why should he? No one ever looks at the face of a nun." 3 stars.

Heaven Help Us (1985)

2011-06-02T20:59:00.003-05:00

Heaven Help Us nearly got 4.5 stars from me but the movie provided more exposition than emotion (though the disciplinary scenes were quite gripping). In short, Heaven Help Us is like The Name of the Rose meets The Dead Poets' Society: It deftly pegs the atmosphere and the culture of a Catholic all-boys high school but the heart of the narrative is firmly in the mouth of a misogynistic mook whose be-all and end-all is to smoke, joke, and get girls. It is for this reason that I disliked Dead Poets' Society: We do not steep ourselves in faith and literature, appealing to our higher angels, so that we can drink, smoke, swear, rebel, and carouse. Anyway, our story begins in 1965 at St. Basil's Catholic Prep School for boys in Brooklyn. The Christian Brothers who administer and teach at the school are (as in real life) a mixed bag of souls: a stern yet pragmatic principal, Brother Thadeus (Donald Sutherland); an amiable and practical novice, Brother Timothy (John Heard); a hardline disciplinarian (who topples over the line into physical abuse), Brother William (William Eustace); and others. Father Abruzzi (Wallace Shawn) gives a scathing sermon against lust before the social dance between the boys and girls schools that may be a high point for many. Central characters are Michael Dunn (Andrew McCarthy), a kind and thoughtful boy whose grandparents, sister, and late parents are convinced he should become a priest (and possibly even Pope), though after several confrontations, he falls in with Rooney (Kevin Dillon), the lead troublemaker, Caesar (Michael Danare), and others. Dunn also falls in love with Danni (Mary Stuart Masterson), whose own tragic story leads to a measure of joy, grace, and sorrow for both. The closing moments carry us to a climactic confrontation and resolution that may have you gripping your seat. As it is, I would love to give this movie 4.5 stars but to do so it should be more like Taps than Wide Awake. 4 stars.

Monsters vs. Aliens: Bonus: B.O.B.'s Big Break (2009)

2011-06-02T20:46:00.002-05:00

Pay attention people: BOB's Big Break is 20 minutes total. (It says so right in front of your eyes.) It is a bonus disc not the full movie. (It says so right in front of your eyes.) It does not come with 3D glasses. (It says so right in front of your eyes.) You provide your own 3D glasses -- even a free pair from a movie you caught in the theater. (Do not complain about the movie or this service on these grounds. You queued it. Get over it.) This disc contains a 13-minute self-titled cartoon (Dr. Cockroach and Missing Link try to use BOB as a bomb in an escape attempt but he becomes an accidental mind-reader, followed by chase scenes and craziness) plus 7 minutes of karaoke (Ginormica sings "I Will Survive," BOB sings "More Than A Woman" to his lime Jello mold, and Dr. Cockroach and Missing Link sing "Born To Be Wild"). The cartoon is funny; the animation and voice talent are all top notch. 4 stars.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (Luftslottet Som Sprängdes) (2009)

2011-05-30T15:40:00.002-05:00

I never got to see the third Lisbeth Salander movie in the art house theater but I just found it available on streaming and watched it last night. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest continues the saga of Lisbeth Salander and provides closure to the riveting events of the movie triad. The danger is less gripping though since Lisbeth spends half her time recuperating in the hospital and half her time in court fighting for justice and freedom (as opposed to fighting for her very life against a string of uber-bad guys in the first two movies). She has a couple confrontations with baddies in this movie but they feel perfunctory and clipped. (I won't compare the books to the movies except to say generally the books tell the story better. I look forward to seeing the American take on these three films; I may complain about the clang-and-clatter- on-steroids of contemporary American thrillers but this film, set in Stockholm and using previously unknown actors just feels -- continental -- like something much closer to The Eye of the Needle than to The Bourne Ultimatum.) In this film Lisbeth's hacking skills are glossed over and the Millennium issue is suddenly published in time for her trial, which is won in less than an hour after carrying in reams of "revised" evidence that no one has had time to read. Like the Harry Potter movies, it is interesting cinema because the books are so much more detailed and entertaining while the movie standing alone seems to be touching bases or ticking off a checklist of scenes. I enjoyed the movie but I wanted it to be more evocative of Lisbeth's dangers and battles. 4.5 stars. (1-27-11 posted 5-30-11)

Rare Birds (2001)

2011-05-30T15:32:00.002-05:00

At least since The Accidental Tourist, William Hurt seems to excel at playing the distracted male who responds to the gravitational pull of a woman (esp. if she's the closest heavenly body). In Rare Birds, he is a chef and restaurateur whose establishment is situated on the coastal boondocks of Newfoundland. His wife has moved to Washington D.C., divorce seems imminent (not that he would take any action to remedy the situation), and the restaurant is so empty that he's going to have to sell it. His closest neighbor and friend (played by Andy Jones) is an inventor with several impressive projects and a few paranoid theories in the works; he drums up a plan to call in a false sighting of a rare bird so that the restaurant will grow flush with clientele. The plan succeeds but guilt works in mysterious ways. Meanwhile, the beautiful vision that is Molly Parker serves as restaurant hostess and a developing love interest. (Some kvetch about the age difference between Hurt and Parker but to me that is imposing the real world on the fictional world: Hurt does not look that old, their connection has more to do with intellect than chronology, and besides, what man would refuse to be with Parker?) Rare Birds plays the "real world" of the restaurant and culinary arts against the "intellectual world" of inventions and conspiracies, blending one into another in a giant furtive salad. Rare Birds is full of understated fun, whimsy, and quirkiness. It turns out I like it a great deal. 4.5 stars.

Despicable Me (2010)

2011-05-30T15:25:00.001-05:00

I greatly enjoyed Despicable Me, watching my rental three times in one weekend. Sure, it helps that I love the superhero/villain and mad/evil scientist schtick esp. with its over-the-top inventions and weapon technologies and esp. when it is turned on its ear and institutionalized as its own nation state (Igor), global smackdown (Monsters vs. Aliens, Megamind), or suburban veneer (Powerpuff Girls, Despicable Me). Our story begins as Gru (Steve Carell) seeks additional funding from the Bank of Evil ("formerly Lehmann Brothers") to build a rocket with which he will steal the moon. He is also battling a nerdy young upstart supervillain named Vector (Will Arnett), whose well-defended fortress is not far from Gru's dark manse set in the midst of white-picket-fence suburbia. Gru decides to adopt and front three cookie-selling orphan girls to regain the upper hand on Vector. Naturally, Gru is clueless about children and resistant to the girls' requests for attention but eventually they begin to appeal to his inner softie. In the end, can Gru accomplish his space mission, make it to the girls' dance recital, and defeat Vector? Steve Carell is ideal for the role of Gru as a vaguely Slavic, hook-nosed, bald guy with a penchant for megalomania and a compound full of little yellow gibbering "minions" that are hilarious and just too darn cute. I intend to own this movie outright, otherwise I would not patronize the studio, which has hobbled the extras on rental copies to try to drive disc sales. To the moon and back again, 5 stars.

Whatever Works (2009)

2011-05-30T15:11:00.002-05:00

Larry David starts Whatever Works chatting over drinks with his buddies before he bursts the bubble and starts talking about the audience ("What, you guys don't see that whole crowd of people out there that's watching us?") and to the audience. In what resembles something like Woody Allen mensching in A Feast of Love, or a meaner and crankier House M.D., retired physicist Boris Yellnikoff (Larry David) reveals himself to be a cynical curmudgeon who no longer believes in much of anything and considers all other humans to be "submental idiots" and "inchworms." (IMDB has piles of great quotes, by the way.) In a moment of charitableness, he takes in a hungry 21-year-old Mississippi girl, Melanie St. Ann Celestine (Rachel Evan Wood), who has just arrived in New York and he helps her start a life in the big city. He starts rubbing off on her and she begins to have feelings for him so they become one of the strangest "odd couples" you could meet. Meanwhile, the girl's mother and father look up their long-lost daughter, move to New York, and make major changes to their former Bible Belt mindsets. In a sea change if not a feeding frenzy of searching for love, everyone in the ensemble cast essentially proves Larry David's premise that all life requires to be happy is "whatever works." This is relativistic anathema to people of faith but he makes an entertaining contrarian point. I like this movie even better than Abby & Ira. 4.5 stars.

The Rookie (2002)

2011-05-30T14:59:00.002-05:00

The Rookie is a Randy Quaid vehicle that does for the love of baseball what Rudy and Invincible do for football. As our true story begins, a gifted young baseball player named Jim Morris is forced to move yet again by his military father, this time to a west Texas town that bears no hint of interest in baseball. The friendly general store owner tells him of a vestige, however, in a sandlot field near the now-closed oil well that birthed the town long ago. (Interestingly, the movie opens and closes with the story of two nuns who "blessed" the land with "rose petals," leading to its future prosperity. This is a gauzy if spiritual way of referring to a central theme in Quaid's life that we only see through his restoration to such a path: "Keep on sowing your seed, for you never know which one will grow. It may even be that they all will.") Morris gets no support from his father and grows up resentful of and estranged from him -- though he still lives in the same small town and serves as coach to the fledgling baseball team. In the first half of the film, he teaches the team how to be champions just as they challenge him to pursue his dream of trying out and playing for a major-league team. In the second half of the film, we learn what an exceptional pitching gift this man possesses and we root for him at every crossroad, challenge, and victory. What is even more moving than this two-in-one premise is this movie's depiction of how the same men who befriended Morris on the first day of his arrival in town are still standing by and cheering for him in his finest hour. Moreover, The Rookie then addresses Morris's relationship with his father, bringing closure and healing to each in their own ways. The Rookie is a family movie you can root for out loud -- emotionally, this one flies out of the ball park. If you love baseball, Texas, or small-town America, you will love The Rookie. 4.5 stars.

Arcibel's Game (El Juego de Arcibel) (2004)

2011-05-30T14:43:00.002-05:00

Arcibel's Game could almost be called The Accidental Revolutionary. It is Romero meets The Shawshank Redemption or a secular take on Of Gods and Men. It reaches stirring and even epic heights though, owing to a few minor weaknesses, it falls slightly short of being epic. Our story begins shortly before the chess columnist for a newspaper in the fictional nation of Miranda is arrested on political charges. A florid and poetic writer, he explains how he was only writing about the king and pawns of a chessboard but a last-minute word change by his editor has made such protestations of innocence untenable in the eyes of the authorities. Arcibel is locked up in prison -- without charges and hence no legal basis to ever be freed -- for virtually the rest of his life. This movie is about the dashed hopes and crushing frustration of political imprisonment and how one insightful man learned over the decades to cultivate his mental tableau and emotional landscape to preserve his dignity -- and to provide a positive example to his daughter and a rough-edged young cellmate who eventually changed the face of the nation. The story arc of this movie is timely and of special interest as democratic revolutions spread in the Middle East. It is a powerful movie about one man's legacy and one country's political destiny, whichever party or person is in political ascendancy. You may also appreciate its moving Oscar-caliber musical score. (Since it has been a Save title here for years, I had to rent it from a competing service that needed three attempts over two weeks before Ballbuster finally sent the correct disc.) See this is you can! 4.5 stars.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Wild World of Batwoman (1993)

2011-05-30T13:42:00.002-05:00

Despite growing up in the metro area that birthed Mystery Science Theater 3000, I had only seen snippets of the show until I sat down to watch their full treatment of an entire movie via streaming this week. The prevailing opinion seems to be that The Wild World of Batwoman (1966) is the second-worst movie (after Manos: The Hands of Fate) ever snarked up by the MST crew. If this movie confuses you or you are otherwise unable to discern a plot, it is because there is none! Batwoman looks like a buxom Mardi Gras queen in her suburban hideout and her 1960s beachcomber-couture nymphettes are even more brainless after the suburbanite bad guys repeatedly slip everyone a "happy pill" that makes them dance like Gidget on American Bandstand. There is a "mad scientist" who acts like a Slavic Mr. Whipple, his idiot lab assistant, and something about an "atomic hearing aid." Batwoman's nemesis, Ratfink, sports the same dopey costume as Rat Pfink (look it up) and the climactic chase scene involves (I kid you not) five Ratfink "clones" (actually, holograms) running around a living room table. My impression is that the MST guys-and-bots tend to be funnier when they have better material to work with. In this case, they were funny enough; simply put, I would not want to sit through this movie without their ribbing. (Best lines: "The music sure is bad but at least it drowns out the dialog," "Boy, you know a movie is bad when it makes The Monkees look good!" and, as the movie closes: "END!! END!!") The late (but then mid-forties) Katherine Victor as Batwoman looks attractive so long as she stays in costume (poofy hair, face mask, low bustline) but apparently felt that appearing in Jerry Warren movies like this one hurt her acting career. I agree but not for politics -- appearing in a movie like this would kill any career. 2.5 stars. (3-10-11 posted 5-30-11)

A Town Called Panic (Pannique au Village) (2009)

2011-05-30T12:17:00.004-05:00

A Town Called Panic is a frenetically kinetic stopmotion film in French (with English subtitles, if you like). The rural hamlet called Panic is little more than a crossroads with a policeman's booth, then to the right a farm run by Steven (who gruffly shouts everything he says) and Janine, and to the left a house occupied by Horse, Cowboy, and Indian. As plastic figurines, Policeman and Indian generally always have one arm up in the air and Janine holds a milk pail, though the figurines also contort themselves and gambol about as the story requires. Horse seems like a father figure to two juvenile charges, partly because he has a deep voice, often clears his throat with the words "What's this?" and asserts his authority. Cowboy and Indian occasionally show a bit of maturity though for the vast majority of the time they wrestle and snipe like adolescents. The problem arises as they scramble to come up with a belated birthday present for Horse. Their solution is to get Steven to ask Horse to drive to the schoolhouse of Madame Longree (the teacher, also a horse, and single) to fetch Steven's animals -- so Cowboy and Indian can order 100 bricks on the Internet (however, a great many zeroes get accidentally added to the order). The arrival of the bricks and how Horse, Cowboy, and Indian deal with them -- and face down all the resulting complications -- involves alternate dimensions and lots of slapstick. The voice talent is quite stereotypically French (and the subtitles don't translate *every* word!). I greatly enjoyed A Town Called Panic. 4.5 stars.

Battle of Los Angeles (2011)

2011-05-30T11:24:00.002-05:00

Please note that 9 out of 10 reviews on this rental service state that this movie, Battle of Los Angeles, sucks or is "one of the worst movies ever made." This is not the mainstream must-see sci-fi movie Battle: Los Angeles! It is a lamentably, pathetically, piss-poor low-budget rendition that tarnishes even the crappy made-for-TV reputation of Sy-Fy channel. I should have paid attention to the fact that Nia Peeples was the only actor whose name I recognized (and her track record is none too good). Our story begins, of course, as a gigantic-sized alien ship invades earth and begins sending out scouting and fighter ships. The mother ship has force-field shields and can repel as well as instantly retarget our missiles -- not good for our fighter pilots at all. Speaking of our Right Stuff crew, most are women pilots (who look like Hollywood actresses, complete with eyeliner, in flight masks) who talk all "ballsy" while the lead male pilot quivers in his boots failing to take off for many minutes as a growling bulldog of a commander (Robert Pike Daniel) snarls a half-dozen ultimatums to take off or have his balls shot off. (So do it already! And put the movie out of its misery while you are at it.) Once the survivors are reconnoitering through warehouses and taking pot shots at scout ships and enemy fighters, the alien scouts inexplicably stop using their ray-gun turrets and start blasting fusillades of sparking *bullets* from wobbly mounted guns! An alien-savvy warrior (Peeples) also appears with an eye patch and *katana* blade and dispatches dozens of alien probes and scouts, mano a mano style. So now you know just how ludicrous this movie is (and those are just the highlights). I don't think any drinking game could keep up with whatever range of idiocies you could pick out to razz in this one. You have been warned: Sy-Fy. Peeples. Alien ships shooting sparking bullets. If you are still interested, more power to you. Come join the gutsy ranks of viewers who have watched this movie from start to end. Our heads did not explode. We have lived to tell about it -- and warn those who don't like to simmer their brains in sci-fi dreck. 2 stars.

Starz Studios: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

2011-05-30T10:36:00.002-05:00

Here is a Starz Studios preview presentation that is focused on one movie only -- and it does an exceptional job in 12 minutes, giving us behind-the-scenes chatter and promotional patter as Johnny Depp and others talk about their roles in the production of the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean release. If you are interested in the movie that earned $90 million on its opening weekend and an estimated $40 million on its second weekend (falling to third place, hmm), this is must-see footage. 4 stars.

Power Play (1978)

2011-05-30T10:14:00.002-05:00

Power Play is a good 1970s coup-de-etat film starring a low-key Peter O'Toole as the linchpin among revolutionaries who outsmarts them all. Everyone does yeoman's work in their roles, esp. David Hemmings and Donald Pleasence. This is what we had to watch at the midpoint between Bridge Over the River Kwai and Tom Clancy. I had to rent it from a competing service since it is in Save limbo along with tens of thousands of other titles here. 3 stars.

Kiss of Death (1977)

2011-05-30T09:17:00.005-05:00

Kiss of Death is an early Mike Leigh film that I debated whether to finish (and my rule is to always finish). Call it a scrum-budget British version of Napoleon Dynamite at its best moments but mostly drier in plot and character interest than Film Geek and The Snake. (It is actually episode 147 of 310 from the 15-year BBC Birmingham TV series Play for Today, which might explain the bad audio and hard-to-catch dialects.) The lead characters are a foursome of thoroughly uninteresting working-class Brits -- frizzy-headed Trevor (David Threlfall) and nondescript best friend Ronnie (John Wheatley) plus Ronnie's round-headed girl Sandra (Angela Curran) and her average-looking friend Linda (Kay Adshead), the least cipher of the bunch. Trevor is a funeral assistant who functions best in a work setting, Ronnie is largely sullen, Sandra seems moody, and Linda is the most social. They all visibly struggle to extend their social interactions but Linda is probably the most normal. She has a habit of constantly chewing and smacking gum but takes the initiative in a hit-and-miss effort to establish a connection with Trevor. ("So do you like me? Do you think I'm pretty?") Trevor favors long periods of silence, laughs inappropriately, hides in a book in lieu of social plans and so on. The quartet's interactions are painfully awkward but that is the movie's appeal: showing us the unpolished side of the social coin. Kiss of Death is not for everyone -- I did not like it -- but it has made me think and I appreciate it more over time for that. 2.5 stars.

Domo: Vol. 1 (2008)

2011-05-29T22:51:00.002-05:00

I am happy to discover Domo, a felt- or flannel-covered fella who resembles a giant chiclet with a permanently gaping mouth. His vocalizations suggest words but his actions clearly express his emotions. Domo gives the strong impression of a hyperactive or even slightly dimwitted child -- but his strength of spirit and adventure never flags. His activities and body language are all about the thrill of discovery and he is always doing something (often running). The theme song is simple and frankly could become grating on its own so be sure to watch the episodes straight through without idling at the main menu to gather snacks. The tune is perfect accompaniment to the frenetic activities of Domo during the intro. The disc contains 13 episodes that run 2.75 minutes each or 36 minutes total so the special features must add 15 to make the 51 minutes mentioned on the sleeve. Vol. 1 episodes include: Camera (Domo takes pictures of everyone -- without film), Balloon (Domo loses his balloon, tries everything to get it back), Headphone (Domo borrows headphones, plugs in to nature), Domo Inc. (Domo plays office under a tree), Robot Dog (Domo walks a robot dog, goes on a mad chase), Brother (Domo finds a bad example in a trio's sibling rivalry), Ice Skating (Domo briefly becomes an expert ice skater), Hungry (a big bear would eat Domo, who later turns the tables), A Mysterious Tree, A Big Tree, Two Domos (a second Domo appears -- which is the impostor?), Secret Hideout (Domo lets out word of his secret hideout), Rock n' Roll (Domo and friends play bad rock until lightning strikes). Domo is really inventive and endearing. I acquired a disc via a competing service since it has long been a Save title here but a 2-disc Korean set exists or you can find many episodes on YouTube in a pinch. 5 stars.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Movie (1992)

2011-05-29T21:32:00.003-05:00

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Movie is funnier than Clueless meets Office Space when it wants to be and campier than half the vampire movies out there the rest of the time. I streamed it on my phone during its last hour of availability but the stream choked about 140 am with ten minutes remaining and it wouldn't restart so I rented the videotape from the library and enjoyed the whole thing once more with my preteen son (and we would watch it again). The movie predated the TV series by five years so SHUT UP if you are going to carp on a false comparison! The movie is what it is -- a midrange howl for all its campiness -- and was never meant to be as well developed as the series (esp. since its airtime equals just two episodes of the series). I really enjoyed the movie and while I agree the acting is yeomanlike, that's what you expect from a movie that has a frightwigged Paul Rubens ham his way through an extended death scene after being "spiked" with a wooden ruler. (Don't miss the closing credits for more of the same plus Liz Smith reporting on the aftermath of the movie's events.) As it is, I found myself constantly laughing at how well Kristy Swanson pegged the role of the vapid blonde lead cheerleader, how well the cheerleaders played their roles as brainless Valley Girl ditzes, how the school officials were buffoons (smarmy basketball coach to team: "Remember: 'I am a person and I have a right to the ball'" but esp. Stephen Root from Office Space as the principal), and more. The male acting is no worse than An American Werewolf in London -- and surely you are not expecting Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer to channel Hamlet and Macbeth. Finally, don't forget Kristy's effortless hotness. All in all, an easy verdict: 4 stars.

Starz Studios: Bridesmaids / Priest (2011)

2011-05-14T18:40:00.002-05:00

This 12.25-minute Starz Studios presentation does a mixed job in presenting us with the following films: Bridesmaids (4 min, 2.5 stars), Priest (2 min, 4 stars), The First Grader (3 min, 4.5 stars), Everything Must Go (.5 min, 3.5 stars), Thor (2.5 min, 3.5 stars). Because I have read and heard good things, I was previously quite interested in seeing every film (except The First Grader, which I had not heard of), however, the Bridesmaids preview was so boring that it greatly diminished my interest in seeing that movie and the previews for Everything Must Go and Thor mildly decreased my interest in those two movies. Priest did a very good job of keeping up my interest but the star of this Starz Studios installment is The First Grader -- a wonderful and true story of an 89-year-old man who petitioned to attend elementary school after Kenya announced free grade-school education "for everyone." Overall 3.5 stars.

The Plague Dogs (1982)

2011-05-11T08:10:00.003-05:00

After Watership Down, Plague Dogs is my all-time second-favorite Richard Adams book. Watership Down is also one of my most favorite movies so I was pleased to finally catch Plague Dogs via streaming. While I wasn't expecting anything as elegantly animated as Watership Down, I found Plague Dogs to be not only faithful to the book but pleasingly animated and voiced. Top names were not necessary for Rowf the labrador and Todd the fox but it greatly helped the story to have John Hurt as the voice of Snitter (so named because snit is etymologically linked to snow, which the dog sees during hallucinations brought on by the exposed brain sutures he acquired in the secret animal laboratory from which the dogs escaped). Snitter is a "holy fool" character who, like Fiver in Watership Down, has visions and intuitions that help guide Rowlf and Todd, who are much more pragmatic, what-meets-the-nose characters. The Scottish brogue that Todd utters is a "feen" part of the book although the film rightly keeps it to a minimum for flavor (since providing subtitles or a glossary did not seem practical). The "plague dogs," as they become known during their treks across the craggy Lake District bordering Scotland, gradually feel the tightening noose of their notoriety until they approach an indeterminate ending that leaves room for the imagination of the reader and viewer. Rowf is stout and will resist to the end; Todd is shifty but will help if he can; Snitter is the psychologically complex character who longs to be reunited with a caring master and worries about the implications of his actions. Small children can watch Plague Dogs so long as they are prepared to handle off-camera scenes of a sheep falling to its death and a dog's foot accidentally firing a gun pointed at a man; simply put, our beloved dogs do not die (on camera or during the movie). Plague Dogs is good fare for adults who love animation, for family movie night, and for children (preferably with parents if under age 8-10). 4.5 stars. (5-11-11)

There Be Dragons (2011)

2011-05-10T08:40:00.003-05:00

There Be Dragons tells the layered (some would say murky) story behind a Spanish man's conflicted relationship with his son. On his deathbed, Manolo resolves to tell his journalist son the full story of his childhood friendship with Josemaria Escriva (founder of Opus Dei and canonized as a Catholic saint just 17 years after his death in 1975) as well as his own inner struggles over choosing political sides in the tumultuous years before and during the Spanish Civil War and, as a result, how he became father to his son. The story is really about the split-second decisions that people are forced to make when choosing sides as well as the life-and-death significance and lifelong effects that such decisions often produce. As a pragmatic yet tragically flawed nonbeliever, at one point Manolo quotes Desmond Tutu: "A man has only one thing to teach his son: to choose the winning side." By contrast, Josemaria lived the opposite of a rudderless life since from a young age he saw God as "the winning side" beyond the political vicissitudes of the day. He became a Catholic priest at a time when priests were openly assassinated. So fervent is his love for Christ and his flock that he repeatedly risks his life -- indeed, he only survives because his closest friends spirit him across the border to safety for a time. Josemaria developed the outreach called Opus Dei to teach how ordinary people can find a path to God through ordinary duties and in ordinary surroundings. The story is complex and requires the mental discipline of a novice to follow along but its revelations are sufficiently rewarding. Much like The Mission, this movie would benefit from subsequent viewings and, like most of my 5-star movies, I believe I will purchase this one to own. The title of the movie refers to ancient seafaring maps that stated of uncharted waters: There Be Dragons. 5 stars.

Happy Tree Friends: First Blood (2002)

2011-05-10T07:34:00.008-05:00

My favorite cartoonlet in Happy Tree Friends: First Blood is when Sniffles the Anteater tries to eat the ant family as they say grace at the dining room table but they stake down his tongue and attack it with a cheese grater, lemon juice, and so on. To those who gripe about the violence, this is no different than occasional Loony Tunes scenes involving Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, and Wile E. Coyote -- it just makes frenetic action, decapitation, and evisceration a constant theme. To those who complain about the grating theme song, these episodes originally appeared one week apart; no one is forcing you to watch them back to back. In fact, the voice talent and frenetic theme song is a big part of the Happy Tree Friends appeal because it sets the ironic tone of oh-so-cute yet doomed-to-die. Just be ready for lots of squishy messy deaths. (TV-MA means no kids!) First Blood includes: Spin Fun Knowin' Ya (Lumpy the Moose spins the kids on the merry-go-round way too hard), House Warming (Handy the Beaver builds Petunia a treehouse that explodes), Helping Helps (Splendid the Flying Squirrel tries to cover up a fatal rescue), Crazy Ant-ics (ant family fights back against Sniffles the Anteater), Havin' a Ball (Pop retrieves a ball through heavy traffic and helicopter blades), Water You Wading For? (Cuddles the Bunny encounters pirhanas and a gator in the swimming hole), Nuttin' Wrong with Candy (Nutty the Squirrel has a run-in with a vending machine), Wheelin' and Dealin' (Lifty and Shifty the Raccoons steal other car parts during a race), Pitchin' Impossible (Mole causes mayhem at the amusement park), Stayin' Alive (Disco Bear is not the best dance partner), Treasure These Idol Moments (golden idol causes death of five), Chip Off the Ol' Block (lawnmower leads to serious infant mayhem), Nuttin' but the Tooth (Toothy the Beaver plays Frankendentist on Nutty), Hide and Seek (Flippy the Bear acts out Vietnam-vet flashbacks on playmates). 4 stars.

Happy Tree Friends: Winter Break (2004)

2011-05-09T23:00:00.004-05:00

Walk, do not run, to see the rating on the left side of this title page. TV-MA means Happy Tree Friends is for mature audiences, not kiddos 10 or under. (I won't let my youngest watch it till he is 15.) That said, Happy Tree Friends is an acquired taste. You will like this Flash animation show only if you enjoy the favorite cartoon show of Bart and Lisa Simpson, The Itchy and Scratchy Show, or other postmodern hits like It's Happy Bunny, 30-Second Bunnies, Shin-chan, Super Milk Chan, Robot Chicken, or any other animated show on Adult Swim. (Conversely, if you have never watched Adult Swim or any of these cartoons, then run, do not walk, in the other direction because you will hate Happy Tree Friends. Do not pass Go, do not write a complaining review.) Happy Tree Friends is populated with cutesy, cooing characters that get bloodily punctured, flattened, incinerated, or gorily eviscerated in every episode. Winter Break presents six cartoons that I found ironically hilarious: Stealing the Spotlight (Lumpy the Moose competes to produce the biggest display of holiday lights), Tongue Twister Trouble (Sniffles the Anteater gets tongue frozen to pond), Out on a Limb (Lumpy chops down a holiday tree but relives 127 Hours), Snow What? That's What (Snuggles and Cro-Marmot engage in snow mayhem), Ski Ya Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya (Flaky the Porcupine has a tortuous encounter with a ski slope), and A Class Act (Lumpy directs a disastrous holiday production) interspersed with six animated holiday card vignettes: Kringle Bells (deer kicks head), Frosty Kringle (Lumpy skis through Frosty and over kids), Kringle Feast (never trust Lumpy with a gas stove), Kringle Karol (carolers meet mayhem), Kringle Presents (electric train kills baby), and Kringle Tree (never trust Lumpy with an ax). 4.5 stars.

National Geographic: Return to Everest/Surviving Everest (1999)

2011-05-09T22:43:00.003-05:00

Surviving Everest (1999) does an able-bodied job of presenting the physical and mental challenges of climbing Mount Everest, including commentary drawn on their personal experiences from a number of leading climbers. Since Sir Edmund Hilary attained the peak of Mount Everest in 1953, just 150 people have succeeded in doing the same -- and many have died in the attempt. In this nearly hour-long documentary, climbers explain the teamwork and utter resolve that is necessary to make success even proximately possible -- if the weather holds out on the mountain's shoulders -- and what a thin margin of error on which you walk when above 25,000 feet in altitude, where a crevasse can suddenly open, frostbite or illness can strike, or brain or pulmonary edema can strike and kill you within an hour. Seeing these climbers' faces and hearing their own words is both sobering yet inspiring. The streaming title includes Return to Everest (1984), filmed to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Hilary's topping Mount Everest. Here is the touching tale of the lifelong friendships and philanthropy that Sir Hilary has forged with Tensing Norgay (age 69 in 1983) and the formerly isolated Sherpa villages of Nepal. It is fascinating to see nearly every aspect of Sherpa life and the love and respect that villagers hold for the man who created a charitable foundation and personally helped build 22 schools, numerous clinics and hospitals, and several airstrips for the people he feels so close to that he chose to celebrate the 30th anniversary in the village rather than at the royal festivities in England. Admittedly, at approx. 1.5 hours in length, Return to Everest feels a bit long even for my captivated sensibilities, however, the final 10 minutes add an even more personal touch to the retrospective through an amiable one-on-one interview with Sir Hilary. 4 stars.

National Geographic: Tornado Intercept (2005)

2011-05-07T23:01:00.002-05:00

Tornado Intercept is a fairly fast-paced and interesting show about how lifelong tornado chaser Sean Casey (in his pre-Storm Chasers salad days) built his prototype Tornado Intercept Vehicle -- a 7-ton steel-chassis fortress-on-wheels with no AC or amenities -- and drove it from L.A. to Kansas for 5 weeks of tornado hunting. His goal was to drive the amateur-welded TIV, funded by his house mortgage, into a live tornado and come out the other side with IMAX film footage that would serve as proof-of-concept for investors in further film production. It's all seat-of-the-pants stuff and he jokes about how bad it smells inside the TIV but science and the thrill of discovery play prominently here too. Casey lucks out and teams up a white knight in a famed meteorologist who has funded the construction of several Storm Doppler trucks to bring radar analysis out to the field, pinpoint tornado development, and predict touchdown tracks. Each man benefits from this collaboration because Doppler cannot analyze wind speeds lower than 30 feet above ground while the TIV can take direct measurements on the ground. Even so, fortune does not smile on them. The previous season saw 500 tornadoes across the midwest but the current season brought only 150. Some storms prove impossible to film and human error comes into play too. It is only on the last day that they see and achieve a close encounter with a tornado. That footage is not as impressive as one would hope but the documentary overall has some beautiful shots of approaching tornadoes and near misses. Do not listen to complainers who imply "If you've seen one tornado, you've seen them all." Where is their thrill of discovery? Love of science? Sense of adventure? IMAX film makers and lovers tend to have these things in spades. Of course it's not HD -- it's IMAX! I will never understand why anyone complains about watching a film meant for 50-foot screens on a 50-inch screen. They would complain about a Hasselblad print out of sheer ignorance. 3.5 stars.

Hereafter (2010)

2011-05-03T22:24:00.002-05:00

Evocative of Babel but less driven, Hereafter is a pensive poem of a movie with tragic overlapping story arcs for three characters: erstwhile San Francisco psychic George (Matt "I don't do this anymore" Damon), conflicted Paris TV journalist Marie (Cecile "I experienced death" De France), and sorrowing London twin Marcus (Frankie and George "Don't leave me alone" McLaren). As our story opens, a tsunami strikes the coastal village where Marie is vacationing; she drowns, has a transitory experience with the afterlife, and revives. The experience weighs on her heavily, leading her to recast her career and write a book that looks for answers. Meanwhile, George has been trying to hide his past career as a genuine psychic from sorrowing seekers who don't want to take no for an answer. At the end, the three protagonists' lives intersect in London at a book fair as George communicates to Marcus the personal words he needs to move on and Marcus helps George contact Marie, a unique and soulful-eyed love interest with whom he might finally be able to have a normal life. To those who kvetch that Hereafter is meandering or inconclusive, not every movie has to be The Bourne Supremacy; accept a movie for what it is instead of what you want it to be (or just make your own). Hereafter is somewhat existential, though tangentially so, and is undergirded with intelligent protagonists who cannot deny their curiosity or sense of community (though George thinks for a season that such denial is his only option). Hereafter does not leave us with a happy ending (though it suggests one) but what movie about genuinely coping with loss and death should? Hereafter is a thinking and feeling person's movie (with wonderful Dickens narrations by Derek Jacobi, who also has a cameo) that reminds us of our mortality and (hopefully) our obligation to make the most of all the life and love and time we have to share. 4.5 stars.

District 9 (2009)

2011-05-03T22:03:00.003-05:00

District 9 has just joined the ranks of my favorite sci-fi movies, alongside The Fifth Element, Red Planet, and Brazil. District 9 has heart, irony, and a warning about holding onto the essence of our humanity. The story begins in a you-are-there documentary style as Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley), a cheerful if clueless bureaucrat, blathers on camera prior to beginning his newly assigned duties as head of the UN-style force that is to evict then relocate 1.8 million prawnlike space aliens that have been found stranded on Earth and left squatting in detention camps outside of Johannesburg for 20 years. Hints begin quickly that the relocation effort will not and (since the documentary has already been made) did not go well at all. Indeed, "prawns" live in abject poverty and as such they prove to be an apt metaphor for any human population that is abandoned to fester without hope in derelict slums filled with trash heaps -- think Avatar meets Paradise Now -- with the noted exception that prawns secretly know how to build technology more advanced than humans, if and when they can cadge together the proper raw materials. In any case, Merwe's incompetence and blithe stupidity both cause and compound a calamity that will hold momentous import for possibly the existence of the whole human race. What's interesting is that, the deeper he falls into the prawn labyrinth, the more humanity and strength we see shown forth in the formerly "weak" and ineffective Merwe -- esp. since he is rising to defend human values on behalf of the prawns and against humanity's duplicitous corporate state (led by a father-in-law who has it in for him). District 9 humanizes the prawns as they represent and possibly escalate the menace they tacitly pose to all of humanity -- even as the story demonstrates how cooperation, detente, and peaceful accord ultimately come down to two persons on two sides who initiate a dialog, make a quid pro quo compromise, and thereby build a path to peace (or, failing that, escalation). We should see, because a sequel seems certain. 5 stars.

Clockstoppers (2002)

2011-05-03T21:46:00.002-05:00

I acquired Clockstoppers through Peerflix (now defunct) some time ago -- good thing too since it has been in limbo as a Save title here for an extended time -- and finally convinced my youngest son to watch it with me (instead of some nth rerun of Spongebob). Directed by Jonathan Frakes, Clockstoppers is a fairly good go at the high-tech-spy movie vibe since seen in three Spy Kid films as well as two Cats and Dogs movies and even G-Force. You could even throw in Adam Sandler's Click. Clockstoppers is not as good as any of those movies but it is good enough to stand on its own and appeal to kids as well as parents. In fact, Clockstoppers has more than a fairly compelling story, acceptable acting, and respectable (if slightly overdone) special effects; it has clean language and passable family values. I liked it and it seems reasonable that you will too. 3.5 stars.

Sugar and Spice (2001)

2011-05-03T21:36:00.002-05:00

Sugar and Spice may not be (as someone said) as polished as Election but I love its campy spin on a Hughesian blend of cheerleader chic and bank robber pique. It is almost as if The Breakfast Club and Legally Blonde had a menage-a-trois love child with Raising Arizona. Sugar and Spice is clearly a labor of love because of its many flippant and whimsical bits, from Kansas' (Mena Suvari) assumption about her prison-inmate mother and the dykey bank-heist convict to each wide shot of Jack and Diane's crackerbox house that shows a little dog yappily racing down the sidewalk. If you pay attention to every word and every implication of the script -- not to mention the nonverbal language -- Sugar and Spice is a true treat and a real hoot. The cheerleaders would be almost too hot for high school but through her eyes, Diane (Marley Shelton) evinces a Kidmanesque psychotic intensity -- think The Stepford Wives -- and the other Debby dolls are just as interesting for their earnest vapidity. The script and soundtrack are simply classic. I had to rent this title from a competing service since it has been on Save status here for a long time but I would gladly watch it again anytime and even own it. 5 stars.

Desk Set (1957)

2011-05-03T21:00:00.002-05:00

A movie as old as some of us who work in computing, Desk Set feels much like a stage play because almost the entire production is set in the corporate research department, managed by Katharine Hepburn's character, or in her adjoining office. The movie's midsection occurs in her apartment home and attempts to provide some jealousy between the two male lead characters: Hepburn's longtime and commitment-averse boyfriend (played by Gig Young), who is on the vice-president track, and an emotionally detached computerization consultant (played by Spencer Tracy), with whom Hepburn finds civility to be a challenge because apparently he has been tasked to work behind the scenes to eliminate her department. The Spencer-Hepburn chemistry gradually manifests itself, however, esp. as the latter realizes the wisdom of the former's maxim "Never assume." Desk Set is a smart show about smart people (and normal people too). As a pre-Electronic Age showcase of social conversation and repartee, Desk Set doesn't quite make the glib grade of The Thin Man or The Rope, largely because Hepburn hams it up in some scenes and sours the salt with a tinge of schmaltz. As a nominally serious set piece for the nascent age of computerization, Desk Set ultimately fails by giving us all the pre-70s cliches -- meaninglessly blinking banks of lights and beep-boop sounds when the technology is working followed by garishly flashing lights, crashing sounds, and smoke when it is asked to perform an intern's workload -- before finally and unforgivably spelling out the finale: THE END. After my first viewing, I gave this movie 2.5 stars; following my second viewing two years later, I grudgingly award it 3.5 stars.

Starz Studios: Fast Five / Prom / Hoodwinked, Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011)

2011-05-03T20:27:00.002-05:00

This 12.25-min Starz featurette presents these movies in the following order: Fast Five (3 min), Priest (1.5 min), Bad Teacher (2 min), Prom (2 min), Hoodwinked Too!: Hood vs. Evil (1.5 min), and Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family (2 min). While I was generally interested in seeing every one of the movies, these previews increased or decreased my interest in the following order (from Wow to Eh): Priest, Bad Teacher, Fast Five, Prom, Hoodwinked Too!, Big Happy Family. 3 stars.

Starz Studios: The Conspirator / Madea's Big Happy Family / Water for Elephants (2011)

2011-05-03T20:18:00.002-05:00

This 12.25-min Starz featurette presents these films in the following order: The Conspirator (with Robert Redford interview, 3.5 min), Water for Elephants (2 min), African Cats (2 min), Incendies (1.5 min), sprite refreshing films dot com (short film competition, 1.5 min), and The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (1.5 min). Not one mention of Madea's Big Happy Family! I was interested in seeing every one of these movies and marginally more so after seeing the previews but esp. after seeing African Cats. 3.5 stars.

Salem's Lot (2004)

2011-03-16T22:21:00.003-05:00

Stephen King's thriller Salem's Lot is a bit hoary for a vampire invasion tale but Rob Lowe and the denizens of Salem's Lot provide a steady dose of contemporary suspense, tragedy, and gore as well as courage and humanity. The script is literate and quite poetic, Lowe is an effective narrator and a keen protagonist, and baddies played by Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer heighten the creepiness even as malevolence in the town assumes epidemic proportions. Look for inside references to Stand By Me and Cujo as Lowe plays a former Maine small-town boy, now a successful (if controversial) author, who returns to his hometown to address a traumatic childhood experience (his discovery of a triple murder) through investigation, reflection, and writing a book about it. He discovers a hell of a lot more than that in a conspiracy that picks up where Nosferatu and The Invasion of the Body Snatchers left off. James Cromwell plays a chummy Irish priest who is spiritually (vampirically) adulterated in the end. I had to rent this title from a competing service -- by just walking into a store and picking up a copy -- since it has been in Save status here for a number of years. 4 stars.

The Pacifier (2005)

2011-03-16T21:45:00.002-05:00

Vin Diesel can never be counted on to act per se, however, he is making a name for himself as a sculpted wooden prop who can mouth his way through a passable script. He's like a schnauzer or a bulldog next to Arnold Schwarzenegger's Rottweiler or Dwayne Johnson's doberman. Vin in The Pacifier is a lesser Ahnuld in Kindergarten Cop or Dwayne in Game Plan. This is a Disney movie so more than formulaic, it is at times downright artificial, sappy, and manipulative; but like Spy Kids or Cats and Dogs, it is a feel-good movie at heart and that counts for something. (It got to me a bit in the end.) In fact, I would have probably given The Pacifier 4 stars if not for the internecine dustups between girl and boy scout troops outside a grocery store and the dopey role of a bullying wrestling coach played by Brad Garrett (who gets humiliated by Vin before he "finds his calling" boogying in a nun's habit during a stage production of The Sound of Music). It stretches credulity beyond even the threshhold of a Disney movie that Vin's character, a no-nonsense Navy Seal, can adapt overnight to the rigors of being a 24/7 nanny, resolve everyone's life issues, and win over the hearts of all in the family. (Where are all the younger kids while he is directing the oldest child's stage musical?) I also liked Faith Ford as the mom, however, she disappears for two weeks of the storyline, supposedly offering guess after guess to a Eurobank password "for reasons of national security." Ri-i-ight. On a lesser note, expect a range of grossout diaper and mild fart humor. On the whole, The Pacifier is better than RV -- though outclassed by Cats and Dogs. 3.5 stars.

Starz Studios: Rango / Take Me Home Tonight / The Adjustment Bureau (2011 )

2011-03-11T07:38:00.002-06:00

This 12-minute Starz Studios featurette aptly and attractively presents the following movies: The Adjustment Bureau (2.5 min), Rango (1.5 min), Beastly (2.5 min), Take Me Home Tonight (1 min), Happythankyoumoreplease (2 min), Ceremony (2 min). After viewing these presentations, I am even more keen on seeing The Adjustment Bureau and Rango and have become quite interested in seeing Beastly, Happythankyoumoreplease, and Ceremony. Take Me Home Tonight still fails to impress. 4 stars.

Starz Studios: Big Mommas: Like Father/ Like Son/ I Am Number Four/ Unknown (2011)

2011-03-10T20:51:00.002-06:00

This 12-minute Starz Studios featurette presents the following films: I Am Number Four (2.5 min), Unknown (1.75 min), Big Mammas: Like Father and Son (.75 min), an interview with Melissa Leo from The Fighter (2 min), Vanishing on 7th Street (2 min), The Chaperone (.75 min), and The Adjustment Bureau (2 min). After seeing these previews, I remain most intent on seeing Unknown and The Adjustment Bureau and on not seeing Big Mammas. I became more interested in seeing I Am Number Four and Vanishing on 7th Street. I have no interest in seeing The Chaperone. 2 stars.

Starz Studios: Drive Angry 3D / Hall Pass (2011)

2011-03-10T19:53:00.002-06:00

This Starz Studios 12-min featurette attractively presents the following movies: Hall Pass (a man's wife inexplicably gives him a one-night pass for extramarital sex), Peep World (a successful author brings out all the dysfunction in his family), Drive Angry 3D (Nicolas Cage drives hellbent cross-country with a tough hot babe), Of Gods and Men (Christian monks in Algeria wrestle with leaving or staying prior to being taken hostage by Muslim fundamentalists), Rango (quirky new-sheriff-in-old-West-town story with animated animals) and Born To Be Free 3D (IMAX documentary about foster programs for elephants and orangutans). I previously only knew about Hall Pass, Drive Angry, Rango, and Born To Be Free but after viewing this featurette, I am more interested in seeing every film -- Rango, Of Gods and Men, and Born To Be Free most intensely. 4 stars.

Patton Oswalt: No Reason to Complain: Uncensored (2004)

2011-03-02T22:33:00.001-06:00

Patton Oswalt: No Reason to Complain is a brief but largely satisfactory performance from Patton. I enjoy this guy's voice and ability to sound reasonably intelligent as well as to go "over the top" with whining or hamming it up for the audience. Some of his comedic bits fell flat though and I just feel he is normally better than the first half of this performance. I laughed more during the second half. 3.5 stars.

Ctrl: Season 1 (2009)

2011-02-25T08:14:00.000-06:00

Ctrl is a fast-paced, hilarious, and endearing Web series from NBC. (Instead of 22-min episodes broadcast as a TV series, Web series generally have 3- to 8-minute webisodes that pack a lot of creativity into the smaller space. Examples of other Web-based series include The Guild, Children's Hospital, and Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog.) Recaps are necessary but rapid and take up only 10-15 seconds not a minute as some complain. As our story begins, Stuart's annoying and incompetent boss Ben spills Nestea on his keyboard, causing the Undo key combination (Ctrl-Z) and other buttons to affect time and space in ways Stuart can only learn by trial and error. Episode 1: Ctrl (Stuart tries telling Ben's secretary that he loves her, hitting Undo for a "redo" after every mistake), 2: Ctrl B (Stuart tries the keys for Bold, tells off Ben, and gets fired), 3: Ctrl Z (Stuart succeeds in hitting Undo and keeps trying to woo Elizabeth), 4: F1 (Stuart clues Elizabeth into his secret as they test more key combos and Stuart pastes three copies of himself), 5: Ctrl C, Ctrl V (Stuart tries to hide, explain, or eliminate his duplicates), 6: Ctrl Home (pressing Home sends Elizabeth back to the Philippines), 7: Ctrl X (Ben learns about the keyboard and confronts Stuart with a baseball bat, but Stuart hits Insert and Recycle Bin), 8: Ctrl Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz (Stuart accidentally goes back 15 years in time to the day he met the brat who would become his boss), 9: Ctrl Y (Stuart's advice to the boy changes everything on his return -- he is the boss but Elizabeth is engaged), 10: Ctrl Alt Delete (Stuart and Elizabeth finally admit their feelings for each other). Richard Karn has a cameo and Cat Jahnke sings the musical theme. 4.5 stars.

Anna to the Infinite Power (1982)

2011-02-24T23:51:00.002-06:00

Movies from the 1980s may not be as painfully dated as some from the 1970s but they may still evince a certain whiff of cheesiness. Bearing this in mind, the production values of Anna to the Infinite Power are mainly passable with low notes evident in the soundtrack (with frequent sound-chamber echo overtones) and acting (esp. the four principals in the first half). Martha Byrne as ten-tear-old Anna in particular is a one-note brat during the first half but becomes more reasonable and intriguing as she figures out what is going on and what she is going to do about it. Our story begins as Anna has a nightmare about calling "Mother" to a strange woman before their plane crashes (then later learns a plane crashed at the same time she awoke from the dream). Anna has a brilliant scientific mind and is already being groomed to become a famous scientist by her mother, who with a mysterious team of doctors insists on an aggressive curriculum of math and science, pooh-poohing anything artsy offered by Anna's musician father. Anna soon forces the issue and learns she was adopted even as her mother more fervently reassures her that she has a "great destiny." As more Annas come to light, so does the true nature of what has been kept under tight wraps (and must be kept so or made to go away). Anna to the Infinite Power is noteworthy since it broached the subject of genetic engineering in 1982 (same year as Tron). The story line is marginally captivating. (I had to rent this title from a competing service since it has been a Save title on this service for as many years as I can recall.) I would have given it 3 stars if the acting and production values had been in the same league (satisfactory) as Melinda and Melinda. Regrettably, I am giving it a lesser grade (mediocre) of 2.5 stars. (2-11-11 posted 2-24-11)

El Juego de la Verdad (2004)

2011-02-24T23:34:00.002-06:00

El Juego de la Verdad (Truth or Dare) is a fairly typical romantic drama from Spain with actors who have appeared in similar movies such as Dot the I, The Other Side of the Bed, and Sex and Lucia. Alberto (Oscar Jaenada) is businesslike and handsome (like Dharma's Greg) while his fiancee Susana (Natalia Verbeke) is mesmerizing and luscious in any light; she is also the daughter of Alberto's boss and one suspects Alberto is not entirely able to separate his career from his love life. Meanwhile, his best friend Ernesto (Tristan Ulloa) is breezy and oafish (like Dana Carvey or Declan Donnelly) and his girlfiend Lea (Maria Esteve) doesn't seem to be aware of any life goals either. After Ernesto receives the erroneous medical report that he is going to die of cancer within three months, Alberto and Susana insist that he move in with them to ease his final days. The foursome goes camping and, vowing to take turns telling the absolute truth, Ernesto reveals that he would like to sleep with Susana before he dies. The initial response all around is naturally "No!" but over time, each of the other three friends wrestles with the conflicting rationalizations of propriety versus pity. How they resolve the question, separately and together, involves several twists before Alberto's wedding day. Being from Spain, there is occasional nudity and canoodling but it's very low-key. I liked El Juego about as much as L'Auberge Espagnole and I think you'd like it too. I watched it in Spanish without subtitles. (Oddly enough, I received this disc accidentally from a competing service instead of a similarly titled one I had queued that has long been a Save title on this service, El Juego de Arcibel. This movie is currently available here on streaming.) 4 stars. (2-24-11)

Tron: Legacy (Tron 2) (2010)

2011-02-24T21:09:00.002-06:00

Tron (1982) was a masterpiece of computer graphics at the time. Of course that's not saying much for its look, script, and acting -- but it was a near-spiritual experience for those who grepped or grokked its minimalist arcade-graphics approach (esp. when a program hears the words "End of line" or utters the words "O my User!"). Now, almost 30 years later, Tron: Legacy ramps up that sense of wonder by several orders of magnitude and soaks it in adrenaline with visually awesome and viscerally powerful lightcycle races and disc duels on a greatly evolved Grid. (The graphics must be seen esp. in 3D and the Daft Punk soundtrack must be experienced esp. in Dolby to be believed.) It seems Flynn (reprised by Jeff Bridges) abruptly disappeared when his son was a young boy; grown now but with daddy issues and a daredevil-may-care attitude, Sam is searching for something (and it's not control of Encom). When he receives a clue from his father's long-shuttered arcade (from a sympathetic executive in an extended cameo role by Bruce Boxleitner), Sam gradually uncovers the truth about his father and the world inside the Grid. Everything has gone horribly wrong and one misstep could also threaten to destroy the real world outside of the Grid. It is up to Sam (Garrett Hedlund) and the unique and beautiful fighter Quorra (Olivia Wilde) to battle Clu (played by a digital doppelganger of Bridges) and his minions (not the cute yellow bespectacled kind either). Flynn's Zenlike demeanor and role make for a fascinating pacifist foil amidst the gladiatorial pitched battles; clearly he chooses brains over brawn. Tron: Legacy is a movie I simply *had* to see in the theater and in IMAX 3D -- and I will own it when it comes out on disc. Don't miss Michael Sheen as the smarmy Zeus! 5 stars. (2-15-11 posted 2-24-11)

Family Guy: Freakin' Sweet Collection (2004)

2011-02-24T20:28:00.001-06:00

After several years of jonesing for this disc, our favorite rental service finally managed to restock Family Guy: Freakin' Sweet Collection. Freakin' Sweet no doubt had greater appeal when it was released during the three-year hiatus between the cancellation of this amazing animated series and its resuscitation owing to its infectious popularity. Now, however, the first three seasons (as well as the following five seasons) have long been available on DVD and are in constant reruns as the most-aired animation franchise on TV. So Freakin' Sweet should only appeal to folks who haven't yet seen Family Guy and those completists who must see every scene and commentary (though there's little of that here). Freakin' Sweet offers five episodes that represent Seth MacFarlane's favorites: When You Wish Upon a Weinstein (Peter wants Chris to convert to Judaism so he will become successful), Road to Rhode Island (after Stewie loses their plane tickets, Brian and Stewie try to get home any way they can with a side trip to look up Brian's mother), To Love and Die in Dixie (after Chris witnesses a robbery, the family enters a witness protection program in southern rural Bumblescum, where everyone has missing or buck teeth but good hearts), I Am Peter Hear Me Roar (Peter is forced to take workplace sensitivity training and gets too much in touch with his feminine side), and Lethal Weapons (Lois discovers a gift for martial arts that perpetuates violence in her home). These episodes are fairly representative and include key musical numbers such as "I Wish I Had a Jew," "Road to Rhode Island" (nominated for an Emmy), and "My Fat Baby Loves to Eat." Full-orchestra music has always been a serious component of Family Guy and it helps that Seth is a multitalented man who can croon with the best of them -- and in several character's voices.) Seth also does the Brian and Stewie commentary for Road to Rhode Island (much more entertainingly than the real commentary provided by production principles including Seth for other episodes: "True story: The voice of that cop is my cousin Jim. He's an air-traffic controller at XYZ Airport. (snickers) That's a joke to anyone from Rhode Island because that airport is defunct! (sputters)") The extras are piddly with uninteresting dribble about the coming of American Dad and Family Guy Season 4. The only other thing you get with this disc more than watching the same episodes on the season compilation discs is a three-second scene in Road to Rhode Island with Osama Bin Laden. So skip this disc unless you're a Family Guy completist or a newbie. 4 stars.

Love Conquers Paul (2009)

2011-02-24T19:27:00.002-06:00

Love Conquers Paul is an independent movie that has weaknesses in its audio, acting, script, and directing, however, I always stick through to the end and in this case I was glad I did. The movie was filmed in Glen Falls, New York and that setting gives it some grounding, which is important given the movie's premise and development (and weaknesses). Paul (Brendan Bradley) first appears as a cute but fairly creepy stalker who tapes women having coffee, driving to work, and so on. He selects a suitable "target" and concocts a pretense to meet them "by chance," initiate a conversation, then go on a first and then subsequent dates. He explains his latest failure to his best friend Ray (Russell Garafolo): He hadn't actually read her favorite book so he was clueless when the woman asked the most obvious question about it. We slowly begin to get the idea that Paul isn't creepy because he's controlling but he seeks a measure of control because he is insecure: He really has no clue how to converse naturally with a woman (much less what to do with one if he catches her). He seems emotionally frozen in preadolescence, trying to learn by rote and logic what comes naturally to young men with a greater vested self-interest. We also gradually learn the origins of Paul's stunted emotional growth -- and he becomes a mildly tragic figure. Paul's life since age 10 has largely been filtered through the videocamera -- his interactions with his mother as a child and with the world as an adult -- yet it is not the detachment of the camera but his relationship with his mother (seen as he reviews his tape library and weeps) that has frozen his heart. We also suspect and then eventually become aware that Paul is not as surreptitious a videotaper as he would think. His boyish and buoyant hopes for love are firmly crushed -- but Paul picks himself up and actually seems to become slightly better-adjusted with hope for a normal life. Watch it to see for yourself. Love Conquers Paul feels like Gigante or, much more faintly, Film Geek or Napoleon Dynamite. 3 stars.

Alien Autopsy (2006)

2011-02-03T08:17:00.002-06:00

Alien Autopsy grew on me from start to finish, beginning with a 3-star impression and ending with a 4-star. It's a low-budget mockumentary that slowly unpacks a battery of quirkiness and surprises -- right down to the end-credits revelation that the scruffy documentary director is played by Bill Pullman! Declan Donnelly and Ant McPartlin engagingly play the real-life protagonists Ray Santilli and Gary Shoefield, two Brits who faked and filmed a Roswellian alien autopsy. (The real guys also appear in the closing credits.) Alien Autopsy is the "story" of how they came upon a 50-year-old Army film of an "actual" alien autopsy, lost the film, produced their own fake version of the film, became insanely famous, and what happened after that. Since the film they "found" is supposedly at the center of the actual and controversial film Alien Autopsy: Fact or Fiction? hosted by Jonathan Frakes, we basically have a Be Kind Rewind approach to a film about a film within a film within a film. Our protagonists are ne'er-do-well posers who (in the mockumentary) manage to pull off one of the biggest scams ever on the international viewing public. It's a low-key hoot, a very underplayed comedy that is suggestive of Black Books or The Office (UK). (I even thought Mackenzie Crook from The Office appeared in it.) If you like humor that doesn't beat you over the head but pokes you in the ribs till you chortle, and want to see our protagonists wrestle with a Russell Brand-like psychopath, don't miss Alien Autopsy. P.S. I had to acquire it from a competing service because it's been a Save title here for what seems like eons. (See my growing Add Bl-ckbuster list for hundreds of titles that are available from a competitor if not here.) 4 stars. (2-3-11)

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman (2003)

2011-02-03T00:31:00.002-06:00

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman is a nicely done Batman movie with effective animation, scriptwriting, and voice talent. Batman (Kevin Conroy) begins to encounter an upstart vigilante dressed as a new Batwoman who often out-bats Batman -- she's athletic, fast, and determined, with an impressive Batglider and flying and fighting skills to match. Moreover, she's competitive and seems to have a chip on her shoulder about the crooks she pursues. Meanwhile, suave Bruce Wayne encounters three young women who are definitely or possibly interested in him -- rebellious bad girl Kathy Duquesne (Kimberly Brooks), daughter of a crime lord; resourceful police detective Sonia Alcana (Elisa Gabrielli); and klutzy researcher Dr. Roxanne Ballantine (Kelly Ripa), who reveals her agility when cornered. Is one of these women secretly the new Batwoman? If so, which one? It's a well-developed story with a variety of droll personal touches and voice roles, such as David Ogden Stiers as Penguin, Hector Elizondo as Bane, Efrem Zimbalist Jr. as Alfred. The streaming version includes a 6-minute "chaser" short called Catch Me. 3.5 stars. (2-3-11)

Shaolin Ulysses: Kung Fu Monks in America (2004)

2011-02-03T00:15:00.002-06:00

Shaolin Ulysses is a fairly interesting documentary about five individual monks from China's restored and expanded Shaolin Temple who have separately emigrated to the United States -- in Queens, Brooklyn, Houston, and Las Vegas. Each man (one now a former monk with a wife and infant) bears the sincere purpose of helping to introduce and spread the Buddhist worldview and kung fu disciplines. We hear their stories in their own words and see them competing in, demonstrating, and teaching the various kung fu styles. (One says in China, students practice eight hours a day; in America, students practice one hour a day.) It's impressive to see their speed and energy as well as their agility and harmony in action and to hear how cultivating a tranquil mind is the key to progress. These men's commitment, discipline, and fulfillment can be a good lesson for Westerners who may otherwise be distracted by materialism, self-indulgence, and "accomplishments" (not to mention popular trends and technology). Shaolin Ulysses is a low-key documentary with a sinewy and spiritual core. See it if you are in any way interested in kung fu! 3.5 stars. (2-3-11)

Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill (2008)

2011-02-03T00:00:00.002-06:00

The humor of Rick Cleveland's standup routine My Buddy Bill comes across high and dry, sort of like David Sedaris doing a Bill Maher routine. Rick looks like a nerdier version of Harry Anderson, who played Dave Barry in Dave's World, or for that matter Dave Barry, who played himself in Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys. Rick tells his story in a straightforward manner, as droll and dry as can be: How he (allegedly) happened to become a friend of President Bill Clinton through his knowledge of dogs (Bill's is named Buddy). It's quite an amusing journey, sauntering from episode to episode and irony to irony. I liked it a lot. It's not guffaw-inducing hilarious though it is grin-and-chortle-inducing fun-ny! I esp. like when Rick gets nonchalantly introduced to Billy Bob Thornton (cue sax solo in "Under Pressure") and Christopher Walken; also Rick and his wife have dinner with Bill and Hillary (who eventually puts a kibosh on the men's friendship). Keep in mind that Rick's story is like the fake Bill Gates or Steve Jobs weblogs -- it sounds so true to form yet could not possibly have happened -- or could it? It's only 42 minutes. Watch it if you want some smart humor! 4 stars. (2-2-11)

Futurama: Bender's Game (2008)

2011-02-02T22:57:00.002-06:00

Bender's Game is another "extended" Futurama feature that runs as long as three half-hour episodes. As such, it's a bit goofier and more rewarding than a single episode because the story arc is at least as creative but runs longer and tighter. Its opening credits begin with a psychedelic Yellow Submarine journey that suggests anything may be fair game here, even an alternate-universe storyline. As our story begins, Cubert and three nerdy friends are playing Dungeons and Dragons while the Dr. Farnsworth and Planet Express are facing an impending shortage of the dark matter pellets that fuel all space travel and are a monopolized commodity controlled by MomCorp. Soon the crew discovers the truth about dark matter's origins and is fighting Mom and her minions (from her three stupid sons to her hordes of deadly but stupid killbots) to defeat her controlling and nihilistic plans. They also pass through a series of virtual-reality scenarios that form an extensive spoof of Lord of the Rings as well as other sci-fi and fantasy sagas. (Hear George Takei mutter "Way to kill the franchise, Bakula.") I like this Futurama feature better than all the others and I would watch it again with my youngest. 4.5 stars. (2-2-11)

Talhotblond (2009)

2011-02-02T22:30:00.002-06:00

Talhotblond is an MSNBC documentary about a gripping must-see train wreck -- and then the narrative reveals a powerful twist that drives its shocking moral implications home even harder. We all know that "on the Internet, you can be anyone." But is it honest? Is it moral? In an online game, no problem -- but where Internet flirting, cheating, and seduction come into play, the human cost can be devastating, as this tale describes. Talhotblond is the true story of an Internet "love triangle" gone sour -- as it was fated to do from the start, given the character flaws of the first two participants -- resulting in the death of a decent and honest young man who became the victim of two functional sociopaths who swathed themselves in lies and self-delusion. Most of this disarmingly told yet chilling story -- mature audiences only -- is expressed in the words of Thomas (marinesniper), the 46-year-old married father of two who became infatuated and began having chat sex with Jessie (talhotblond), a lithe-bodied 18-year-old girl just across the state line, first in the persona of someone her age and later as himself. (She initiated contact but it hardly matters once both became addicted to the anticipation and the thrill of their forbidden attraction.) Thomas is now serving a 20-year prison sentence for the execution-style murder of Brian, an 18-year-old co-worker who was caught up in Talhotblond's web, first out of spiteful revenge and then her sickeningly dysfunctional manipulation. Talhotblond refused to be interviewed or even captured on camera for this film but her words and demeanor are well-documented through rolling chat transcripts that let us peer into the reams of emails these two shared and the hundreds of photos she shared with Thomas and a number of other men for which she was trolling. Talhotblond is a lot like Fatal Attraction or the Dateline child-sex sting operations and it won Best Documentary at the Seattle International Film Festival. It's a real-life object lesson that (unfortunately) the Internet harbors some real sickos -- and that if someone appears to be hotter than one could imagine, he or she is probably the polar opposite of their self-aggrandized fantasy in real life. 4 stars. (6-10-10 posted 2-2-11)

Play the Game (2008)

2011-02-02T22:04:00.003-06:00

Please save yourself the grief and pass on watching Play the Game if you think Andy Griffith should be freeze-dried in the 1950s and never seen outside of his roles in Mayberry RFD, A Face in the Crowd, and Matlock. (Who could think about having a "relationship," much less intimacy, with Aunt Bea in the house? After all, in 1953 TV audiences couldn't deal with Lucy and Desi wearing pajamas except in separate twin beds.) If that is the Andy you want to remember, you are guaranteed to get apoplexy from this film and should avoid it at all costs. However, if you are (I'm spitballing) a twentysomething or else retired -- or anywhere in between -- that believes humans are not sex-avoidant creatures, then you might find yourself laughing a lot. It will probably depend on whether you find Andy's old-guy dancing in the beginning (and during the end credits) to be a sorry sight or a funny one. Our story begins as the widower Joe (Andy) grows morose in his retirement digs, paid for by his good-guy grandson David, who is a highly successful if Machiavellian sportscar salesman. Something of a ladykiller, David scouts the showroom floor to clinch a sale as strategically as he reconnoiters each rendezvous with a female patron in the local watering hole (even recruiting his married friend to force a spilled drink on him as a conversation starter). Like the dudes in The Tao of Steve and Wedding Crashers, David has skirtchasing down to a science -- until he meets the one girl his best game won't work on (and who may be gaming him) in the smart and cute Julie. Meanwhile, with David's coaching and encouragement, Joe has taken up with a post-hot-flash hottie Edna (Liz Sheridan) who has the hots for his tater tots. She introduces Andy, who has so far only been with one woman, to the blue pill then noncommittally calls him "a wild stallion who must run free." He goes off the deep end, thinking he's a real "chick maggot." Part of this film's appeal will be to people who love Andy no matter what he does. Part of its appeal will be to older folks who see themselves in Andy's dating fumbles and sex-farce hijinks. (His face no longer as expressive, so some of his jowl-flapping sex jabber and actions were frankly disturbing to me.) Part of its appeal will be to younger people who laugh at old folks doing stuff one didn't think (and sometimes don't want to know) old folks do. So this movie gets a mixed verdict. The developing relationship between Joe and Rose (Doris Roberts) is endearing (esp. as a twist reveals in the final five minutes -- hey, just like Matlock). Andy's antics may seem creepy to a crowd too young to have jowls much less care to kiss a partner's and two supposedly comical scenes of geriatric climax may scar some peeps under 30. In any event, Andy gets game (and the ever-whuffling Doris Roberts). A less-creepy movie would have won 4 stars but since I find the smell of Ben-Gay to be very unsexy, 3.5 stars. (6-15-10 posted 2-2-11)

Pokemon 4Ever (Pokémon 4: The Movie) (2002)

2011-01-26T00:00:00.002-06:00

As a parent of a child who has loved, collected, and chattered about Pokemon for more than ten years, I was never a fan of the TV show or the first four movies because of their gossamer-thin script, storyline, and artistic quality. (My biggest complaint can be summarized in the following capsulization of every Pokemon script: Ash cheers yet again "I'm going to be the best Pokemon trainer in the world!" while Pikachu -- or any other Pokemon creature -- repeats its name over and over.) I've gradually made peace with Pokemon's presence in my family, however, so I've learned to accept each TV episode and movie for what it is and to understand each character's motivations through their challenges and successes. (It helped that the artwork began to get better with Pokemon 4ever and beyond.) In th fourth Pokemon movie, we have a story that develops organically and the landscape animations are often quite good. As a result, I am upgrading my rating of this film from 1 star to 3 stars. (1-17-11 posted 1-25-11)

The Bank (2001)

2011-01-25T23:18:00.003-06:00

The Bank is a low-key Australian thriller starring David Wenham as the brilliant chaos-theory mathematician who is hired to direct the financial war room and ultimately to implement the increasingly nefarious machinations of Anthony LaPaglia as the chief executive of a megabank. Sibylla Budd is the love interest to Wenham's character though he is smart enough to suspect that she may be a plant -- an intentionally placed spy for his boss. (Is she or isn't she?) The Bank has a couple good twists at the end that proved satisfying. Wenham (Faramir in The Lord of the Rings) is no Brad Pitt but he is a likeable and suitably adequate actor. This movie is recommended if you like math (or a reasonable facsimile), Australian films, or a fictional version of a documentary such as Inside Job. In fact, The Bank is quite topical and prescient as far as contemporary scandals about predatory banking practices go. It reminds me more of the understated Enigma than the glossy Wall Street 2 but, sure enough, the central message is that greed is standard operating procedure in the brave new world of high finance -- and so it may take an even more intelligent and dedicated artist to right the wrongs. I had to rent this movie from a competing service since it has been a Save title here indefinitely. 3.5 stars.

The Linguists (2008)

2011-01-25T22:59:00.002-06:00

The Linguists is a fairly fast-paced travel documentary that showcases how the sciences of linguistics and ethnography are applied in the field. David and Greg are can-do go-getters who speak 25 languages between the two of them. They are concerned that social and economic pressures in far-flung corners of the world are leading to the abandonment or death of one language per week. (Like undiscovered rain-forest plants, undocumented languages are not just unique and fascinating things to study but they may likely shed new light on humanity's challenges: Just as plants yield new pharmaceuticals, languages reveal the unique creative insights and problem-solving perspectives of which human beings are capable.) We travel with this Dialect Duo as they narrate their preparations and journeys to remote Siberia to document the Chulym tongue, provincial India to document Chemehuevi and Sora, and the backwaters of Bolivia to document Kallawaya. Their approach is structured yet flexible as they attempt to find native speakers of each dying language; Chulym had 9 speakers at the time of their visit but 4 have since died. Recording everything on audio and videotape, their first step with each interviewee is to conduct an elicitation, learning words for the parts of the face and body, followed by numbers and so on. Their encounters with elderly speakers and the folk of the earth are intriguing and personable. In fact, The Linguists almost does for languages what Throw Down Your Heart does for music across the borders. Our guys camp beside Lake Titicaca (very cold), risk getting killed by insurgents, join in village song and dance, and help document languages in print and video for their native speakers (even organizing one community's effort to produce the first hand-written and hand-drawn book in their native tongue). If you want to stretch the borders of your mind and heart to understand more about your fellow human beings on this our common planet, I highly recommend The Linguists. I will be happy to watch this movie again some other time esp. with anyone who is interested in foreign travel or languages. 4.5 stars.

Family Guy: It's A Trap! (2010)

2011-01-25T22:39:00.002-06:00

Seth MacFarlane admits in an even more rambling introductory crawl that, for Family Guy's third Star Wars spoof, the creative team was "out of gas. Heck, we let the interns write most of it. The FedEx guy even got in a joke and he calls the baby Steve" (instead of Stewie). Granted, it is true that Blue Harvest is Family Guy's first and most funny Star Wars parody, Something Something Dark Side is Family Guy's second and secondmost funny Star Wars parody, and It's A Trap! is Family Guy's third and thirdmost funny Star Wars parody. Even dumber than Peter's classic skinned-knee scene, the dumbest scene in It's A Trap! stretches on for several pointless minutes as characters nod knowingly back and forth to each other before they face being thrown into the Sarlacc pit. Family Guy inside jokes don't serve the script well either: Darth Vader (Stewie, voiced by Seth MacFarlane) taunts Luke (Chris, voiced by Seth Green) about Seth Green's lack of acting chops and, in the closing moments of the show, the Griffin family led by Stewie and Chris launch into a critique of Seth MacFarlane versus Seth Green. Yet while the humor of each episode might be on a relaxed downward trend, the fun of watching each episode from first to last remains on an upward trend as the faithful and excellent animation only gets better. Family Guy's Star Wars trilogy amounts to the most sustained, coherent, faithful, and funny Star Wars spoof yet. See it for the first time and later watch it again! 4 stars.

Full Disclosure (2000)

2011-01-25T22:13:00.004-06:00

Investigative reporter John McWhirter (Fred Ward) in Full Disclosure falls somewhere between sanctimonious anchorman Howard Beale (Peter Finch) in Network and mercurial father Frank Scott (Michael Brandon) in Dinotopia. His once-stellar reporting career is slowly sinking into drink when he gloms onto an assassination story that could reburnish his reputation. Unfortunately, he has just become personally involved in the developing story through two socialist activists he has known since college 30 years ago. (Their history, a skein that is slowly unraveled for us, provides the reason why John agrees to help them and also contributes to the dangers that emerge from his decision and inexorably uncoil themselves in his sight as well as ours.) John has agreed to briefly and discreetly harbor Armiti Khalq (Rachel Ticotin), a mysterious woman who turns out to be pivotal to his story and pursued by the FBI. John and Armiti establish a baseline detente and gradually build a mutual consensus that reaches its ultimate expression in several dimensions. Perhaps to atone for his sins of the past, John is determined to redeem and prove his character even if it's the last thing he does. Meanwhile, Michelle (Penelope Ann Miller) appears as an accomplished assassin in a delicious role that's my favorite. (That's her with John on the cover art. She's not quite Anton Chigurh but she could have been the perky offspring of Anton and La Femme Nikita.) Virginia Madsen plays John's sympathetic publisher and Christopher Plummer is the FBI chief who is determined to run John to ground. Full Disclosure is a pretty good show. You might not like the ending but this film is slightly better than average and well worth a watch. You could do much worse. I had to rent it through a competing service since it has been a Save title here for many moons. 3.5 stars.

Starz Studios: The Green Hornet / Season of the Witch / Country Strong (2011)

2011-01-25T22:00:00.002-06:00

The current Starz Studios 12-min featurette presents us with five films: The Green Hornet, Season of the Witch, The Dilemma, Country Strong, and Barney's Version. It's a generous and well-rounded treatment of all five, ranging from extensive scene selections to actor and director commentary. I have been interested in seeing all five anyway but now am even more interested in all five -- Barney's Version the most. 3.5 stars.

Porco Rosso (Kurenai no Buta; Crimson Pig) (1992)

2011-01-05T09:29:00.002-06:00

Hiyao Miyazaki works wonders again in Porco Rosso (Italian for Red Pig), the Casablanca-meets-Castle in the Sky story of a top Italian WW II fighter pilot turned mercenary after a mysterious aerial encounter changed him into a pig. (He's bipedal, has a mustache, smokes cigarettes, and is in every other way apparently human but his face and build are porcine.) He's no longer young, altruistic, or romantic -- "I only look out for myself now." He's cunning but not brash, brave while considering all risks, and an expert pilot (even when drawing the short straw in a dogfight). Circumstances lead or force him to fight air pirates and ultimately to accept an aerial challenge to free someone he originally dismissed but has since come to accord great respect. This engineer and Porco Rosso make a good team together -- more seasoned and reasoned than Pazu and Sheeta in Miyazaki's Castle in the Sky but just as courageous esp. in a pinch. 4.5 stars.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven (2004)

2011-01-05T09:08:00.002-06:00

The Five People You Meet in Heaven is a Hallmark movie but a very good Hallmark movie. Its feel and star performances fall somewhere between Jon Voigt in John Paul II or Harris Malcolm in Fireproof and James Garner in The Ultimate Gift or James Garner and Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. The Five People is a didactic, reflective movie with more visiting spirits than A Christmas Carol and more self-revelations than Hereafter. It is more plodding than What Dreams May Come (a high bar indeed) though still mostly light on its feet; it felt draggy in the middle and could possibly lose 13 minutes (from its 2 hours and 13 minutes) without detriment to the story. As our story begins, Jon Voigt as the tragically killed Eddie sojourns posthumously, meeting five prior decedents who have been awaiting him in various forms of their own heaven (not always apparent to him) so that they may find resolution with him and help him find his own (often for things or in ways he didn't know he needed). Eddie's life, character, actions, and choices are the focus here, with numerous revelations about his and others' motives that shed new light for Eddie on his life and his responsibility for others' lives. Occasionally melodramatic, The Five People is a largely captivating tale of self-examination and redemption that's more reminiscent of Dragonfly than It's A Wonderful Life. I was often moved by the revelations in Eddie's journey and certainly by its culmination. I'd love to watch it again sometime. 4.5 stars.

Changing Habits (1997)

2011-01-05T08:43:00.003-06:00

I have liked Maura Tierney ever since seeing her in Primary Colors. In Changing Habits, an earlier starring venue, she plays Soosh, a cute, complex, and brash young woman who shoplifts to save for life goals we gradually discover. Though often testy and untrusting, she gradually rehabilitates herself through the ministrations of love interest Felix (Dylan Walsh) and the Mother Superior (Eileen Brennan) at the convent she scams for cheap room and board. For spirituality, Changing Habits is more like Diary of a City Priest than Sister Act. As a lifelong Catholic, I found its representation of guest lodging in a convent to be largely realistic -- I don't think the handful of salty words would have been allowed even though Soosh is the kind of woman who does whatever the hell she wants -- and the Mother Superior was both practical and supportive in her pastoral attentions. In the convent, Soosh finds a safe place where she can express her personal (Kahloesque) artistic vision as the daughter of a complex and alcoholic painter (Christopher Lloyd). The balance of the movie rewardingly reveals additional layers as it uncovers greater complexities to her life than Soosh knew or expected (beginning with how she came to be named Soosh). I like Changing Habits better than Wide Awake and even Chances Are. Teri Garr has a quirky role as Soosh's boutique shop manager and Shelley Duvall has an even quirkier role as a nun who rarely speaks. I rented this movie from a competing service because it has long been a Save title here but I see it has come in stock this week. 4 stars.

Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special (2008)

2011-01-05T08:29:00.002-06:00

This performance has too many gay and drug references to be a family show but worst of all, Jeff Dunham has actually managed to ruin 'Twas the Night Before Christmas for me. A 150-year-old time-honored traditional poem honoring (and even establishing) St. Nicholas' role on Christmas Eve, heard many times every year of my life over one-third of that time span, and Jeff Dunham managed to wreck its majesty in all of 10 minutes. He does this by having Achmed the Dead Terrorist "translate" the poem by imputing drug use and worse to every line. It's hateful and it's not funny -- not by reason of being hateful; it's simply not funny -- and, incidentally, when it comes to finding and telling original jokes, Jeff Dunham is a hack. 1.5 stars.

Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity (2007)

2011-01-05T08:15:00.002-06:00

After watching several of his performances, I have concluded that Jeff Dunham skates on very thin ice for the quality of his jokes and then keeps skating over and over the same spots till he falls through -- and even then his audience keeps laughing. (This makes me wonder if they all shop at Sam's Club but that's another issue. BTW see if any non-whites are in the audience.) His opening monologue is folksy, self-deprecating, and brings in members of his family -- the opening scene to this show even depicts his wife in bed with Jeff and several of his characters -- though unfortunately, it's usually to make lame gay jokes about lotion or "playing with dolls" or being "fabulous!" Of Dunham's six characters (ventriloquism dummies), Walter is my favorite. (OK, he's the only one I can stand -- and even he gets on my nerves.) Walter's schtick gets old because it's thin and sooo repetitive: "Waaah. Boo-hoo. I don't care. Whatever." Walter is mean and pretends not to care but is lovable; Peanut is mean and really does not care so he says whatever the hell he wants. Bubba, Big Daddy D, Jose Jalapeno on a Stick, and Achmed the Dead Terrorist are frankly offensive to rednecks, blacks, Hispanics, and Middle-Eastern persons. They would be funny if they were not threadbare stereotypes that rely on catchphrases (esp. "on a steeck" and "Silence! I keell you!") and facial ticks. While Dunham has great talent as a ventriloquist, his race-tinged humor has little more subtlety than a white man depicting a black man demanding watermelon or fried chicken. Finally in disgust, I began predicting Dunham's jokes by saying out loud the stupidest thing that sprang to mind before he said that very thing, which threw my youngest son. Frankly, Dunham's humor appeals best to boys aged 10-14. God save us from Jeff Dunham and those who laugh at him -- on a schtick. 2 stars.

Starz Studios: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 / The Next Three Days / Made In Dagenham (2010)

2010-12-11T10:23:00.003-06:00

This 12-min Starz featurette introduces six movies: Morning Glory (2.5 min), The Next Three Days (2 min), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (1.5 min), Made in Dagenham (1.5 min), Morning (1.5 min), and Tangled (1.5 min). All six films are presented in sufficient detail to give a sense of their substance and a feel for their actors' take on the story. I liked every presentation -- though Tangled's was fluffy instead of dramatic. I plan to see all six films but Morning Glory and The Next Three Days now more than previously. I had not heard of Morning, an art-house film in which real-life husband and wife Leland Orser and Jeanne Tripplehorn play a married couple struggling with loss and grief. A good no-nonsense introduction to all six films. 3.5 stars.

Starz Studios: Hereafter / The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (2010)

2010-11-14T04:10:00.003-06:00

This 12-min Starz Studios featurette previews for us the following films (in this order): Hereafter, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Trigger, Little White Lies, The Illusionist, The Tempest, Paranormal Activity 2, and The Social Network. The shortest previews (about a half-minute each) are The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Trigger, and Paranormal Activity 2; of these three, only Trigger gives you a good sense of what the film is about. Neither did Little White Lies, with its actors chatting up how we all feel connected, give a good sense of what it is about. The Social Network's preview is the same one we've all seen more than once elsewhere. I enjoyed the previews for Hereafter (a haunting personal reflection on death from Clint Eastwood), The Illusionist (animation sans dialog from the folks behind The Triplets of Belleville), and The Tempest (starring Helen Mirren as Shakespeare's Prospero with Russell Brand as Trinculo and some impressive special effects). Of these films, the previews increased my interest in Hereafter, Trigger, The Illusionist, and The Tempest. 3 stars.

Starz Studios: 127 Hours / The King's Speech / Black Swan / Rabbit Hole (2010)

2010-11-14T03:42:00.003-06:00

This 12-minute Starz Studios featurette presents actor and director interviews interspersed with clips from 127 Hours, The King's Speech, Black Swan, Rabbit Hole, and Biutiful (2 to 2.75 minutes each). It's a well-done and interesting presentation that slightly increased my interest in all the movies -- just not my knowledge about them -- as the actors and directors commented ably about the emotional context (just not the content) of their roles. 3 stars.

Starz Studios: Due Date / 127 Hours / Megamind (2010)

2010-11-13T22:13:00.002-06:00

This 12-min Starz Studios featurette fritters away 2.5 min on the Hollywood Awards then invests 2 min on Due Date, almost 2 min on Megamind, 2 min on Fair Game, 1.5 min on 127 Hours (including extensive comments from the autobiography's author), and 2.5 min on Faster. The presentation on Due Date was a bit illuminating but not very interesting. I very much enjoyed the presentations on Megamind, Fair Game, 127 Hours, and Faster. While I intend to see all five movies -- with at least Megamind, Fair Game, and 127 Hours in the theaters -- I would say that after watching this promotional segment, I am even more interested in seeing 127 Hours and Faster. 3.5 stars.

The Story Lady (The Christmas Story Lady) (1991)

2010-11-13T21:43:00.000-06:00

The Story Lady (also known as The Christmas Story Lady) is a made-for-TV movie fit for fans of The Waltons though slightly modernized: It has no objectionable language or behavior (children are respectful of authority and soldier on with a patent shrug through life's challenges) though one woman is a marketing executive who briefly colludes with the smarmy salesmanship of her colleagues before she accedes to the virtues of compassion and kindness. In our story, the elderly Grace McQueen (Jessica Tandy) moves in with her daughter Meg (Tandy Cronyn) and son-in-law, who pick at her first home-cooked meal as if it were cellulite casserole. Since they both work, Grace looks for a place to work or volunteer but no one will have her. She stumbles on an opportunity use public-access TV to express one of her greatest gifts -- reading storybooks to children -- before a marketing firm connives to commercialize her show and control her contractually. How Grace deals with the situation is a story of plucky resourcefulness, common sense, and humanity. The genuine warmth found in parts of this movie more than compensates for its few maudlin or overly sentimental moments. Here is a family story and a Christmas story that was nominated for an Oscar. Enjoy! 3 stars.

1st & 10: Season 1 (1984)

2010-11-08T21:50:00.000-06:00

1st & 10 is fairly fun to watch. It's sort of Cheers meets Friday Night Lights with a dash of Silk Stalkings. (I had to rent the single double-sided disc from a competing service since the two-disc set on this service remains on Save status.) 1st & 10 is an early HBO series that lasted seven seasons. Season 1 is dated 1984 so the opening 3D graphics and score are lame, the punch lines are clever but undersold, and the laugh track is a giggle track. There are testosterone-soaked shenanigans in the locker room and after hours, jiggling cheerleaders with teased hair, and several women in topless scenes. Our story begins as Diane Barrow (Delta Burke) wins the California Bulls football team from her ex-husband after he is caught in flagrante delicto with one of his team's "tight ends." She proves to be a capable team owner/manager, taking the team all the way to the championship game, assisted by dedicated old-school Coach DeNardo (Reid Shelton), though her ex's nephew as general manager is a snake in the grass that's in cahoots with her ex, the mob, and anyone else they can bribe. All the players have distinct, over-the-top personalities and get screen time and laughs. The show deals adroitly with some thorny issues and Fran Tarkenton cameos as sports announcer. Disc 1/Episode 1: By the Bulls (Diane demands the team for revenge with her ex then rises to the occasion), 1/2: The Opener (Diane chooses her starting quarterback and learns her general manager is sneaky), 1/3: All Roads Lead to Dayton (Bulls play their first road game as Diane's ex keeps trying to stab her in the back), 1/4: The Slump (The mob goes on strike and boycotts beer sales while Carl's new contract makes the team jealous), 1/5: Play Me or Trade Me (After Carl is injured, Bob almost gets traded -- and into Diane's bed), 1/6: You Are Who You Eat (Diane directs the team on the field as DeNardo coaches her from a hospital bed), 1/7: Uneasy Lies the Head (Coach wrestles with his mortality, overmedicates himself, and makes a bad call), 1/8: The Sins of the Quarterback (Bryce, a Mormon, wants to quit after a cheerleader says he got her pregnant), 1/9: I Only Read Defenses (Rona fires two cheerleaders with mob ties as Larry learns it is his last season), 1/10: Wine Time (Jethro and Bubba, conned in a wine scam, miss the game in jail after they run amok), 1/11: Rona's Fling (Rona enters rehab for good but a much-younger beau endangers her recovery), 1/12: Not Quite Mr. Right (Diane falls again for a man she once almost married), 1/13: Super Bull Sunday (The team gets distracted by the promise of fame before the championship game). Enjoy! 3 stars.

Blithe Spirit (1945)

2010-11-07T20:15:00.002-06:00

I saw Blithe Spirit at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston but now it's on streaming here so you can watch it anytime. It's an affable dialogue-laden film with great repartee (as one would expect from a Noel Coward play). The 1930-40s were great for movies with great dialogue after all (like Casablanca and The Thin Man series). The medium chews through her scenes in grandiose fashion (practically defining the role for all subsequent films) and the ghostly ex-wife is a shimmery vision. The film won an Oscar for special effects. Staging is very much like a play though -- simple and straightforward. I hope you like it as much or more than I did and you esp. enjoy the ending. (Do not read Wikipedia or anything that would spoil that for you.) Enjoy! 3 stars.

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001)

2010-11-07T19:42:00.001-06:00

Jimmy Neutron has got to be my favorite children's animation series because of its inventive and energetic animation, plotting, characterization, and just generally lyrical quirkiness. Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius is the first feature-length movie of the series and I have enjoyed it multiple times on Nickelodeon with my youngest son. Even so, I gladly watched it alone on DVD (obtained from a competing service since it recently reverted to Save status on this rental service) and I would be pleased to own every Jimmy Neutron episode. (Thankfully, Seasons 1 and 2 are now streaming here, at least for the time being.) Naturally, I came to the show because I have children but I have stayed with the show because of my inner child. The animation style is colorful, 3D, and kinetically pops off the screen. (In the making-of featurette, the creative team explains how they put 3D animation in the service of Roadrunner- and Coyote-style physics.) Every character has an intense personality and the voice talent is superb, from boy genius Jimmy Neutron to his quack-happy pie-loving father Hugh Neutron to his sweetly keelhauling mother Judy Neutron to his intelligent and insulting nemesis Cindy Vortex to his tubby hyperallergenic friend and guinea pig Carl Weezer to their Ultralord-crazy nerd companion Sheen Estevez (not to mention the rest of the folks in Retroville and a parade of space aliens and would-be Earth conquerors). Our story begins as the evil (and hungry) Yolkians (think floating glass eggs with green brains and eye stalks) kidnap all the grownups in town, causing Jimmy to lead his classmates in interstellar pursuit. Flying through an asteroid belt and doing battle in the alien coliseum is not for kids under 6 (as the movie page states clearly) but it's all cartoon fun and mayhem. (By the way, there is an explanation for how the kids fly through space without spacesuits but that's an in-joke covered in another episode.) Simply put, Jimmy Neutron is pure goofy, loopy fun with a chewy smart-kid center. This show never disappoints. Enjoy! 5 stars.

David Cross: Bigger and Blackerer (2009)

2010-11-07T10:46:00.002-06:00

I may not have seen as much of David's material as his biggest fans but even I could tell that he was not as funny as usual in his Bigger and Blackerer performance. David's style is intelligent -- he is articulate and unafraid to use the right (even bigger) words to make his political (or apolitical) point and to express the humor in it. Just the same, I spent 95% of this show (streamed, no DVD extras) with a deadpan expression -- and I watched it twice through while in a good mood. A couple of his racial or ethnic zingers made me cringe and grin (like "Ouch, drew blood with that one!") and I chuckled through some of his potshots on religion (even my own) but his best material was about the irrational Tea Party wackos (who prove they have no sense of perspective, objectivity, or humor). I didn't like the opening act of a cussing kid, the hackneyed bit about messing with the ASL interpreter (who, as part of the act, had one funny line: "Stay deaf!"), or the ignorant riff on the Bible as "rewritten" and "retranslated." To my mind, the whole performance can be summarized by his final "joke" where he claims to be serious then explains his lifelong issue with depression: "Then I found out that, all along, I had a rock in my shoe." That's how funny this whole show is. I hope you enjoy it and can appreciate David with laughter and not just for his logic (or lack of it)! 3 stars.

Inception (2010)

2010-11-04T09:16:00.002-05:00

Given its mind-bending premise and special effects, Inception simply must be seen on the big screen. (Unfortunately, it suffers from a blaring, clanging soundtrack that makes your head feel like it is being continually struck between an anvil and a hammer. Granted, this is a minor quibble even if it's a deafening one.) Inception's premise and script are intelligent and complex -- less than I had hoped but laudably more than the vast bulk of blockbuster movies. I had hoped for more of a mind game nested within a mind game -- and while the movie delivers this, it is more about the action and fight scenes (like how The Lord of the Rings surrendered the books' highmindedness for the battle scenes). As we would expect, DiCaprio carries off his role's intensity and Ellen Page is superb in her role too. If the trailer interests you at all, see Inception by all means. It is not only a master stroke of a movie as well as a blockbuster but it is a movie I intend to own. 5 stars. (9-22-10 posted 11-3-10)

Eloise's Rawther Unusual Halloween (2006)

2010-11-04T08:27:00.002-05:00

Thanks to the books by Kay S. Thompson, we know Eloise as a spirited little girl -- "I'm Eloise! I'm six!" -- whose sense of adventure and entitlement knows no bounds. The animated Eloise series (voiced by Mary Matilyn Mouser as Eloise, Lynn Redgrave as Nanny, Tim Curry as Mr. Salamone, and others) is a delight only exceeded by the live-action Eloise series (starring Sofia Vassilieva as Eloise, Julie Andrews as Nanny, Jeffrey Tambor as Mr. Salamone, and others). In this animated Halloween episode, the Plaza Hotel's longstanding legend about the ghost of Diamond Jim comes to life for Eloise -- imaginatively as she begins her hunt for the truth and also literally as she persuades the prankish, devil-may-care ghost to chase off those who do not belong in her beloved Plaza Hotel. Enjoy! 4 stars.

Hana (Hana Yori Mo Naho: The Tale of a Reluctant Samurai) (2005)

2010-11-03T22:49:00.002-05:00

Hana: The Tale of a Reluctant Samurai is a pleasant romp through post-feudal Japanese societal changes as seen through the characters who live in a poor rowhouse community in Edo. It's chock full of visual and verbal humor (provided you can watch the characters interact and read subtitles fairly rapidly). Hana (the word refers to an elegant but short-lived Japanese flower) could be described as Seven Samurai meets Amelie. Soza has been sworn to avenge his samurai father's death, however, samurai practices have just been abolished by the government. Moreover, he's a gentle soul and his fighting skills are pathetic. So while waiting (three years and counting) for his revenge ship to come in (and even after it docks all but next door), Soza opens up a school to teach the townsfolk and their children how to write. Even so, the plot and its development are just a frame for the window dressing that is the movie's characters and their interaction. Simply put, Hana is a delight to watch. I highly recommend it. 4.5 stars. (9-29-10 posted 11-3-10)

Capote (2005)

2010-11-03T22:39:00.002-05:00

Capote is a cunning treatment of Truman Capote's personality at age 24 and the pinnacle of his meteoric career -- as he chose and shouldered researching and writing his third novel, In Cold Blood. That book made him the most famous author of the twentieth century through his invention of the "nonfiction novel" but also broke him in ways that kept him from ever finishing another book. Capote gives us more than a masterful portrayal of the man by Philip Seymour Hoffman. The direction and cinematography are exceptional and captivating as they rely on unitive (continuous, long, and wide) shots with a tightly controlled color palette (no reds or blues at all). The featurettes are essential to understanding the artistic commitment of the director and his crew in their own words, even though the film's genius is more than evident during viewing. Every actor also shows their own mastery -- from Catherine Keener as Capote's moral anchor to the Kansas law enforcement chief and the convicted killers themselves. Just as Capote captured the killers' flawed humanity on paper, Hoffman captures Capote's shining conquests and developing doubts on film. Capote was a literary celebrity, an incisive intellectual, and a positively captivating conversationalist. This movie showcases his greatest moments and the start of his downfall into the alcoholism to which he ultimately succumbed. By all means please enjoy! 5 stars. (10-18-10 posted 11-3-10)

My Neighbor Totoro (Tonari no Totoro) (1988)

2010-11-03T22:27:00.001-05:00

It's become the standing chorus every time we watch a new Hayao Miyazaki movie at our home: We have to own every one of this man's films! They are stupendous in imagination, genius in design, and a testament of love to watch (again and again). My Neighbor Totoro tells the story of a father and his two girls who move from the city to a home in the countryside as they anticipate the girls' mother's eventual release from the hospital. The house is known to be haunted by "soot sprites" (which the children can see) and the nearby woods show strange signs of being haunted by nature spirits as well. My Neighbor Totoro is basically Alice in Wonderland meets The Bear. The determined 4-year-old girl, Mai, chases two teddy-bear-like sprites into the great wood and tumbles upon the (s)lumbering giant, Totoro. The wordless rapport they establish is as charming as Totoro's continually surprising magical powers. Here is a Japanese tale of magical realism that's a delight to watch. It's not as detailed as Spirited Away or Miyazaki's other later films but I doubt anyone who loves animation can watch any Miyazaki film just once. Enjoy! 4.5 stars. (10-18-10 posted 11-3-10)

Lady in the Water (2006)

2010-11-03T22:20:00.000-05:00

I supremely enjoyed M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense and, like everyone else, looked for as good or better from his next movie. I was more than disappointed with Unbreakable, however; I was infuriated -- and matters didn't get better with Signs or The Village. The Sixth Sense was (to my mind) smoothly constructed and flawlessly told with a riveting twist; since then, NightBrain's every movie has been hamhandedly scripted, full of empty sucker punches, and ending in a grating nonsequitur, anticlimax, or shaggy-dog twist (like the ever-obnoxious "Oh, guess what? The whole thing was just a dream! -- Or was it?"). That's not writing, that's hackery! Lady in the Water may be impressive for its set design, color palette, and cinematography. The script, not so much; the acting was passable. I was intrigued by the movie's premise; M. Night just didn't deliver on its potential. (The copious bonus features make much of the script's origins in a bedtime story he wrote and expanded for his children, to which I can only say: It worked for The Hobbit, but I have read The Hobbit, and this is not The Hobbit.) To begin: Narf?! What were you thinking, Shyammy? To continue: Lame special effects. Going on: Enough plot holes to sprain every ankle on a centipede. I finally lost it when M. Night has one character interpreting the magical events by random or selective reading of clues from the daily crossword puzzle! Normally I respect Paul Giamatti but he almost lost his self-respect with this script. (For example, he dives in the swimming pool that people swim in every day and discovers a subterranean mud-lined cave that doesn't muddy the water. He swim-spelunks for twice as long as any mortal can hold his breath, then sight-unseen picks out and brings back the one treasure the narf needs to survive.) Meanwhile, M. Night himself plays a young man who has just finished writing a book that is fated to save humanity from certain destruction. (Can you say hubris?) The one priceless scene was when the film critic played by Bob Balaban onerously pronounces how his final scene must by definition play out -- and the beast promptly proves him wrong. (M. Night to critics: Take that!) Lady in the Water has a lot going for it but plenty of unnecessary missteps and skipped beats. I would have gone for something more magical and mysterious than loaded down with ponderous attempts to explain (and then tangentially twist) everyone's part in the quest. I love Watership Down. I absolutely love Willow. I managed to sit through Lady in the Water. I hope you enjoy it more than I did -- for its own sake and not for what I hoped it would be. 3.5 stars. (10-27-10 posted 11-3-10)

Click (2006)

2010-11-03T22:07:00.002-05:00

I enjoyed Click a good deal more than I expected. I loved the concept -- and the trailer scene where the dad uses the magical remote clicker to freeze-frame reality long enough to permit physics to exact his revenge on the obnoxious neighbor boy -- but I had been led to believe Click was a mediocre piece of meh. To the contrary, the movie's premise and development were sufficiently believable (once you accept the machination of a magical remote that can freeze, rewind, or fast-forward not television but life itself) but the techno-mystical milieu of the remote was above par in design and exposition. Besides that, I'm not certain Christopher Walken can do anything wrong -- even his vacant stare (pick one of a few) wafts across several levels of recognition and poignancy. The movie's message will probably hit home with some oomph for the parent of any child who would like to avoid life's aggravating moments but never miss one moment of transition, growth, tradition, and joy. I suppose the point is that we can't bloodlessly choose which of these moments to avoid or experience -- we just need to be there and live through them as they come. Like every human being, including each of our loved ones, the good comes with the bad and every strength corresponds to a weakness. Take life as it comes -- we can't capsulize or control it nor should we selectively check out or withdraw for our own convenience. 4 stars for technical merit, 4.5 stars for emotional impact. (10-27-10 posted 11-3-10)

Visitors (2006)

2010-11-03T08:44:00.002-05:00

I almost never say this about any movie, but you can safely (and should definitely) skip Visitors. Its first 10 minutes are "so bad that it's good" (almost) but the next 40 minutes are all downhill from there (and the last 2 minutes are outtakes that are exponentially the worst). If you hear "mockumentary" and think of Spinal Tap, then Visitors is like your weird uncle Al doing an hour-long riff on those cheesy space-alien "documentaries" a la America's Funniest Home Videos. Every scene is the same guy in the same glasses with a different hackneyed accent -- this sums up the entertaining part of the show -- with fake buck teeth or a giant mole and a different wig, going on with his character's "expert" or "eyewitness" testimony about storied alien encounters during the Civil War, WWI, the 1950s, and so on (interspersed with cheesy transition graphics and grainy still photos or video clips, of course). Place names (like Turkey Gizzard Cheeks) and character names (like the transvestite Gen. Bodsworth or the burr-tongued Sir Angus MacGranish) are mildly amusing but rapidly wear out their welcome -- and one character (the shifty-eyed Mickey Tandouri and literally a towelhead) is just offensive. The grainy video clips of an undercover space alien as he chills out at home in Canada over a beer may urge you to pluck out your eyeballs for boredom. Step away from this video; I endured the whole thing so you don't have to. (Truth: Of the worst things I have seen to date, even Strangeheart, Throg, and Doggie Poo are better than Visitors.) You have been warned. 2 stars.

Election Day (2007)

2010-11-01T08:36:00.000-05:00

Election Day portrays voting-day preparations and interactions in 12 U.S. cities, from Stockholm, Wisc. (population 97) to Chicago and New York City. It begins by shadowing a Republican committeeman as he assembles a handful of volunteer pollwatchers, ostensibly to guard against voter fraud, which in his view is necessarily committed by the other side. (This documentary is bipartisan and neutral -- like the Australian pollwatcher often portrayed as silently witnessing the occasional partisan exchange from the sidelines, allowing viewers to draw their own conclusions -- however, populists and Democrats will perceive that the only ones seen to commit electoral faux pas are the Republicans, who demonize the other side and commit the very interference tactics they hope to find and oppose, all the while chummily denying they are doing so: "It's legal.") We see an effective voter-rights movement that entitles ex-felons who can vote after having paid their debt to society; we see a marginally effective get-out-the-vote effort on an Indian reservation; and we see a small southern town elect its first black sheriff in 120 years (an underdog candidate who, through voter activism, won by a margin of 100 votes, less 15 before the recount and plus 15 after). Ironically, we see one cavernous polling location in a Republican enclave that has many voting machines and less than a handful in use while we see several chaotic polling locations overrun with blacks and minorities waiting 2-3 hours to vote (and one instance of white officers closing the polls 5 minutes early as blacks were running from the bus stop for the doors). Election Day is a sobering but mostly inspiring documentary for populists; perhaps less so for those who prefer oligarchy. Its message is that every vote, from every person of every color and every walk of life, can and should count and be counted. This is America and democracy at work. (P.S. I watched this disc the morning of the day I early voted.) Enjoy! 4 stars.

Sweetgrass (2009)

2010-10-31T01:34:00.003-05:00

For the first 20 minutes, Sweetgrass rates 5 stars for its terse but powerful cinematography: National Geographic-caliber scenes of snowy mountain pastures without narration -- just the mountain wind and a vast herd of bleating sheep. Then we begin seeing and hearing the ranchers who are tending their sheep in this environment. Their words do not amount to dialog per se; the chatter is for the most part folksy, muffled, and incidental, so it serves as background noise almost like the sheep bleating. Just the same, the verbiage tends to distract from the film's natural setting -- and the deleted scenes would have exacerbated the situation if left in. Sweetgrass is a superb slice-of-life story of the rugged outdoorsmanship of sheep ranchers as they packride their way night and day through the mountains -- a way of life that is now gone. You see and hear the taciturn slow-burn mantras of ranchers for whom the words "cowboy philosophy" sound like a contradiction in terms. (For one thing, cattle and sheep ranchers seem to prefer words of one syllable or at most two. For another, their thought process may take days or weeks of reflection in isolation before resulting in a verdict -- of one syllable or at most two.) You feel for the young rancher who calls his mom at night on the cell phone because the trail is long and hard -- or the one guy who finally cracks and just bellows one curse word for several minutes at the hundreds of sheep that have been surrounding him and bleating nonstop for days. Traveling under these conditions is never easy -- then throw in vast herds of cantankerous sheep that need to be shown (or shoved) the way they should go. The camp gear looks really old and unwieldy too. So don't you dare sniff at or criticize these ranchers unless you can do what they have done -- if you could survive Facebook withdrawal for more than one day! Properly viewed, Sweetgrass is a Zen-like, almost spiritual experience. Reserve yourself some time to watch it without interruption. If you are open to the experience, it will be good for what ails you. Except for the deleted scenes, the bonus features are worth viewing too. Enjoy! 4.5 stars. (10-31-10)

Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder (2009)

2010-10-31T01:10:00.002-05:00

Like other Futurama offerings that run 90 minutes or so, Into the Wild Green Yonder is basically three half-hour episodes played back-to-back. (You even have the opening and closing credits and commercial breaks all in place.) It's a very good feature-length show with a storyline that feels overall like Futurama should feel. (I like it better than The Beast with a Billion Backs.) Our story opens as a green bubble or shock wave expands its way across the universe, affecting star and planet systems as well as Fry's brain. Fry resists his newfound mind-reading abilities but tries to win a poker championship after Amy's obnoxiously rich parents decide to terraform 12% of the Milky Way galaxy to build a giant miniature golf course. Bender and a mysterious nemesis are also secretly in collusion to destroy the universe. A number of mild twists at the end make for a satisfying Futurama feature-length "movie" in three parts. Enjoy! 4 stars.

Between Your Legs (Entre las Piernas) (1999)

2010-10-31T00:34:00.002-05:00

Between Your Legs seems to disappoint many viewers who find the title misleading or the content of the film to be other than what they expected. Speaking for myself, I see any film but esp. a foreign film as an opportunity to experience something new rather than to fulfill any preconceptions or expectations. Memento is an incomparable thriller whose structure, twists, and murders have compelled me to watch that film at least eight times. Between Your Legs is a murder thriller more like Blood Simple or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang but set in Spain; you have to watch it closely (and I for one will be watching it at least one more time) to catch the multiple twists and interwoven liaisons that involve at least ten men and women as love, sex, addiction, business, or marriage partners. The title promises sexiness and the film exudes it through numerous furtive, urgent trysts -- showing female breasts and thighs but nothing of the men -- but even though the premise is sex addiction, it is the story that is compelling -- the story of A who cheated on B who cheated on C who cheated on D (and at least two murder investigations). Of course, it helps if you know Spanish fluently but the audio as well as the subtitles are more than adequate. Incidentally, I had to rent this movie from a competing service since it has been a Save title here for a great long while. Enjoy! 4 stars.

Starz Studios: Conviction / Red / My Soul To Take (2010)

2010-10-28T21:13:00.000-05:00

This 12-min Starz Studios featurette previews the following movies in the order given: RED, Conviction, It's Kind of a Funny Story, Jack@ss 3D, My Soul to Take, Case 39, and Rifftrax: House on Haunted Hill. Its treatment is so-so -- tantalizing for one or two titles and not interesting for the rest. After viewing this featurette, I am just as jazzed to see RED as ever (no more but no less). You'd think Starz could drum up more interest in such a guilty pleasure (after all, it has Helen Mirren blowing off steam with high-caliber automatic weaponry) but Starz seems off its feed this time. After watching this featurette, I am more interested than ever in seeing Hilary Swank in Conviction (the story of a high school dropout who becomes a defense attorney out of fierce love and devotion for her unjustly imprisoned brother) and I am marginally more interested in seeing It's Kind of a Funny Story (where a confused teen boy finds self, love, and joy after being wrongly placed in psych lockup). I am still adamantly put off by the idiocies of Jack@ss 3D (though bits of it look more funny than the previews suggest). This featurette did nothing to attract me further towards My Soul to Take or Case 39 or even the Rifftrax take on Vincent Price's House on Haunted Hill (and it shouldn't have been that hard). 3 stars.

Ally McBeal: Bonus Material (1997)

2010-10-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Ally McBeal is perhaps my favorite TV show of all time, so viewing the entirety of these bonus materials is the next best thing to catching up on any episode or season of the show. The bonus materials present us with a solid background on the actors, the characters, the scriptwriter (David E. Kelley), and the creative possibilities that all of these people conjured up together. I think it's safe to say that without such a wildly popular show as Ally McBeal, with its quirkiness and frank talk about love and sex in relationships, we wouldn't have received or else so greatly enjoyed such TV series as The Practice or Boston Legal (which Kelley created afterwards), Law and Order anything, Sex and the City, and numerous others. This bonus disc includes Bygone Days: An Ally McBeal Retrospective, Season 2 TV Special: The Life and Trials of Ally McBeal, Vonda Shepard: I Know Better (music video), Season 2 Featurette, Season 3 Featurette, Season 5: Behind the Scenes (featurette), Season 5: Good-bye Ally, and The Practice: Axe Murderer (crossover episode). 4.5 stars.

Starz Studios: Toronto Film Festival Highlights (2010)

2010-10-22T21:35:00.000-05:00

This 12-min Starz Studios featurette capsulizes six top-buzz-inducing movies from the Toronto Film Festival in 10 min then inexplicably tacks on a 2-min montage of Vanity Fair interview snippets that form a jumble of one-line nonsequiturs, mostly with people you won't recognize. (For example, I recognized Javier Bardem and could even understand his English, but without a context, what he said makes no sense.) Back to the six movies: The King's Speech, Black Swan, Beautiful Boy, The Town, Stone, and Hereafter apparently took the festival by storm. Colin Firth is King George VI, a repressed man (and king) with a speech impediment in a repressed society -- recently added to my date-movie wish list though higher now. Natalie Portman is a femme fatale ballet dancer in Black Swan -- likely to follow Mao's Last Dancer as a date movie. Beautiful Boy is about being parents of a Columbine-style suicide killer -- the topic and movie seem chilling enough that I will wait to see it at home. The Town and Stone are taut psychological dramas -- I will see The Town in theaters if there is time. Last but not least, Clint Eastwood's Hereafter recently took second-place on my must-see-in-theaters list. 3 stars.

Starz Studios: Life As We Know It / The Social Network / Secretariat (2010)

2010-10-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

This 12-min Starz Studios featurette is much more interesting than usual. First, it can afford to give 1.5 to 2.25 min to each movie because it only presents us with seven: The Social Network, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Inside Job, Nowhere Boy, Tamara Drewe, Life As We Know It, and Secretariat. Second, the material we see is more coherent and lends greater insight into each movie than usual. Currently the top movie on my personal must-see list, The Social Network impressed me even more as a gotta-see film after catching this featurette. Shia Labeouf holds forth with great insight about Wall Street 2 but several Michael Douglas scenes push this movie even higher on my must-see list. Showing in limited release, Inside Job is a timely and chilling indictment about the lack of criminal convictions against the financial industry that has hijacked the American political system. Nowhere Boy is a biographical drama about the birth of The Beatles and looks quite interesting. Tamara Drewe moved slightly higher on my wish list thanks to this featurette. Life As We Know It appeals to me but this featurette didn't enhance that interest. Secretariat, however, has now raced ahead to the the top of my family must-see list since it is about exceptional faith and courage. 4 stars.

Starz Studios: Wall Street / Legend of the Guardians (2010)

2010-10-22T08:30:00.002-05:00

This 12-min Starz Studios featurette presents 1.5- to 2-min capsulizations of the following movies: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Never Let Me Go, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, You Again, Alpha and Omega, and Let Me In. Also presented are 10- to 20-sec capsules of the following movies for the Halloween season: Hatchet II, My Soul to Take [3D], Paranormal Activity 2, and Saw 3D. After watching the featurette, I was more interested in seeing Wall Street, Never Let Me Go, Legend of the Guardians, and Let Me In. I'm still interested in seeing You Again but the featurette didn't help much with that movie or Alpha and Omega. None of the Halloween movie capsules seemed appealing at all (though admittedly Horror is not among my favorite genres). I still don't have much of an idea what Never Let Me Go is about and The Legend of the Guardians is still my leading must-see movie but Wall Street and Let Me In moved ahead significantly on my see-o-meter because of this featurette. 3 stars.

The Father Kino Story (1977)

2010-10-19T21:26:00.000-05:00

The Father Kino Story is The Mission meets The Lone Ranger. It should appeal to family viewers who prefer The Alamo (1960) to The Alamo (2004), Fess Parker as Daniel Boone, and even something as contemporary as Sidney Poitier in Lilies of the Field. Richard Egan plays Father Eusebio Francisco Kino, a Catholic priest who in the late 1600s envisioned and pioneered an extensive missionary outreach to the indigenous peoples from Mexico City to Baja California (which Sir Francis Drake believed to be an island while Father Kino suspects it to be a peninsula leading back to the mainland west of Arizona). We see limited examples of the Mexican Army's officiousness and brutality when certain commanders paint all natives with the same brush of rebellion and then justify servitude, vengeance, and punishment. Father Kino intervenes for humane treatment and goes up the chain of command to finally broker a peace for all tribes that will preserve the work of the church and the civil government. He also creatively works with and around his church superiors, never giving up on his hope to return to ministry among the natives in (Baja) California. We see Ricardo Montalban, Cesar Romero, Aldo Ray, Keenan Wynn, and others in cameo roles and a mixed but mostly progressive approach to racial tolerance. (Father Kino is always for it, however, he overlooks one native chief's references to unconverted natives of other tribes as "devils" and wryly thanks the army commander who smugly points out his treatment of a half-Hispanic native as a "white.") This story feels historically believable is part of my Catholic movie list (tiny.cc/robolinks). Enjoy! 3 stars.

Glup (Glup, Una Aventura Sin Desperdicio) (2004)

2010-10-19T20:12:00.000-05:00

Glup is basically A Town Called Panic meets Igor. This low-budget but charming Spanish-language animated movie is named for Glup (pronounced Gloop), a trenchcoat-cloaked detective who appears to be a coatrack inside. A precocious and determined little girl named Alicia meets Glup as she pursues her beloved antique radio (headed in a dump truck to the dump, thanks to her closeminded and humorless parents) that a kindly old neighbor helped her fix, while teaching her the treasure that can be found in old appliances and parts, esp. recycled ones. Racing through the dump with Glup and being pursued by menacing heads in helmets as well as the evil Incinerator's servants, Roll and Plunger and the cigar-chomping Mr. Toilet, Alicia and Glup have quite a pickle from which to extricate themselves. The animation is quirky but enjoyable. The Spanish dialog as well as its English-language captioning is fast-paced so it's best that you either know Spanish well or can read English rapidly. It's only 68 minutes so not a large investment of time. I wanted to give it 4.5 stars and might have if the length had been kept to three-fourths of an hour. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 4 stars.

The Browning Version (1951)

2010-10-10T12:08:00.002-05:00

Released in 1951, Anthony Asquith directed The Browning Version, a British drama of manners and a perfect one at that. Not one moment, word, or syllable is wasted; every element works together to construct and elucidate the whole. Michael Redgrave masterfully plays the dry-as-dust British schoolteacher Andrew Crocker-Harris (Crock to his students), facing the day of his retirement as well as a series of critical realizations. Jean Kent is his much younger, scornful, cheating wife who thinks her affair and plans are secret and safe. (Since this is 1951, there is no sex but one kiss, which was probably scandalous at the time.) The title of the movie refers to a pivotal gift received by Crocker-Harris, a teacher of the Classics (Latin and Greek): the Robert Browning version of his life's study, Aeschylus' poem Agamemnon. Simultaneously, we discover that he abandoned writing his own scholarly edition of the poem some years ago -- and seems to be unaware of a number of details in the poem that parallel his own life's challenges. Asquith's The Browning Version presents itself as economically yet as lyrically as John Huston's The Dead. If you appreciate the classics, definitely do not miss this one! 5 stars.

The Grand (2007)

2010-10-10T09:22:00.002-05:00

I love mockumentaries and parodies. I may not care for poker but I greatly enjoyed The Grand and its rags-to-riches poker tournament premise. As a Christopher Guest-style mockumentary, The Grand is more Waiting for Guffman than A Mighty Wind or Best in Show. It could have been funnier but its humor is embedded, laid-back, subtle, and contrarian -- more in The Office style of oh-no-he-didn't prickly or uncomfortable humor than spell-it-out-for-you belly-laugh humor. It's brainy humor (esp. Chris Parnell with his inside references to the sci-fi novel Dune) matched with dumbass humor (esp. Woody Harrelson as the drug-addled Vegas heir who tumbles into Wife No. 76). The ensemble cast stands out as a crowd-pleaser -- everyone has their moments to shine -- but I would rank them in the following order of prominence: Woody Harrelson (as the failed heir to a historic Vegas hotel he hopes to save), Cheryl Hines (as a loopy cardsharp who takes no prisoners at the poker table and supportively emasculates her even loopier husband, Ray Romano, at home), Chris Parnell (as an autistic-spectrum nerd-as-jerk who lives passive-aggressively with his mother, Estelle Harris, he reminds me of Jesse Eisenberg playing Mark Zuckerberg), David Cross (as a lesser cardsharp to his sister, perhaps because of an emasculating father), Richard Kind (as a clueless poker newbie with incredible luck), Werner Herzog (as an angry sadism fetishist with a poker sideline), and Dennis Farina (as an old-school-Vegas Rascal-riding cardsharp). The Grand is not as polished as Waiting for Guffman but it is about par for being dilatory and meandering. I would watch it again in a heartbeat. 4.5 stars.

Boys Town (1938)

2010-10-09T11:26:00.004-05:00

Boys Town is a fine 1930s film and a solid Spencer Tracy and Mickey Rooney vehicle that tells the story of Father Edward J. Flanagan's founding of Boys Town outside of Omaha, Nebraska. (The few who criticize Father Flanagan's vision for his mission -- "There is no such thing as a bad boy" -- are missing the entire purpose of Boys Town, which is teaching trust, honor, and accountability -- that is to say, "Given the chance, every boy wants to become a responsible man.") Tracy is steadfast -- principled yet flexible -- in his role as Father Flanagan while Rooney is stolid but sometimes overacts. The supporting cast of Boys Town "citizens" are commendable in all their roles (esp. Pee-wee, who also adroitly chews into his lines). The movie is at times sentimental and mawkish but this is eight years before the better-balanced It's A Wonderful Life. It's a memorable and well-told story that many classic movie lovers will want to see. 4 stars. Boys Town (the movie) is accompanied on DVD by a documentary, The City of Little Men, that describes the founding principles and practice of self-governance at Boys Town (the place), as well as by a brief presentation by Father Flanagan, who plays himself in the documentary, and a 1939 radio address (audio only) about Boys Town. The flip side of the disc contains the sequel, Men of Boys Town, which is set three years later. Its story is slightly less interesting or dramatic but still memorable and worthy of a view. 3.5 stars.