Pokemon: The First Movie (1999)

If you're an adult and can stay away from the Pokemon movies, do so at all costs. If, however, you are beholden to a child who has been infected by the Pokemon bug ... well, you're toast. A Pokemon movie is like a Simpsons movie or a Star Trek movie or a Star Wars movie: Fans cannot and will not stay away, no matter how lame the script; indeed, they will clamor and chatter about its intricacies for days (nay, years). The basic approach to write any Pokemon movie script is as follows. Ash: I'm going to be the greatest Pokemon master in the world! [All wannabe, no basis.] Brock and Misty: Yay! Every dang Pokemon in the script: [Endlessly repeat own species name over and over; for example] Pikachu! Pikachu! Pi-ka-chu-u! [for emotional complexity] Oh well, at least I got to sleep through this yawner. 1 star.