Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat (2003)

It's hard to stomach the rank bile of those who hate this movie so much. Perhaps the bashers believe The Cat in the Hat movie should have been rated G to remain as innocent as The Cat in the Hat book, which was written for 2- to 6-year-olds. (Well, a book is not a live-action movie -- and for a movie to do well, it needs a broader target demographic than just kiddos.) So this movie was rated PG and specifically intended for children age 7 and up. (Ignorance is no defense since anyone can read these facts two inches to the left of these words.) And it is about as mild a PG rating as possible. (Does anyone really believe that a butt-crack visual, a fart joke, and a one-second cue of a stiffening hat and tail are too harsh for a PG rating?) The self-righteous shock of these haters might be more persuasive if they refrained from tagging the movie with harsh and tasteless words. (Does being offended by a fart joke ever justify the words "This movie s-cks b-lls"?) Besides, isn't squirreling mild bits of grownup humor into children's movies a commonly accepted way of tossing a bone to the parents who have to stay awake during the entire production anyway? So let's look at the real rather than the imagined weaknesses and strengths of this movie. First of all, the art direction is whimsical and inspired -- perhaps by Edward Scissorhands as much as Seuss. The storyline is quirky and fun -- however, fully the first 20 minutes are a preamble about the mother's real estate career and her sleezy neighbor's designs on her hand (and money) in marriage. The two children perform admirably in their updated Seussian roles -- Dakota Fanning more so than Spencer Breslin. Mike Myers as the Cat in the Hat is deep-dimples cute -- until he starts spouting the same schtick as all of his previous characters (and yes, sometimes in the same sentence). Thing 1 and Thing 2, unfortunately, are so over the top that, as chaos breaks loose, the nagging thoughts at the back of your head begin to make you wonder, "What were they thinking?" Oddly, the CGI fish is the most lovable character in the movie! 3.5 stars. (12-11-08)