A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All (2008)

In his Comedy Network show The Colbert Report (pronounced coal-BEAR reh-PORE), Stephen Colbert spoofs self-important ultraconservative demagoguery through his smug on-air persona, also named Stephen Colbert. (Think of him as a half-hour nightly sendup of Bill O'Reilly.) The show's schtick is pure genius and has caught on like wildfire with an audience that Stephen likes to call (and pander to as) Colbert Nation. (One of his frequent gimmicks is to foment Internet-based write-in campaigns that promote his name. Colbert ran for president in the last election and most recently NASA has named a part of the International Space Station after him.) The Stephen Colbert Christmas Special is his latest effort to capitalize on the schmaltz and lyrical verve his writing staff can offer by not only producing a "Christmas special" TV program in the vein of the traditional ones of days gone by -- but parodying the traditional Christmas special with Colbert's distinctly postmodern (or as he would put it, "ballsy") take, which is itself a parody (of a travesty). Frankly, the concept just didn't work for me. Oh, it's sincere and talented and (just barely) well-enough produced -- it just wasn't funny. At times, it was even grim -- or grimly offensive -- so I don't think the worried looks on the face of every guest star (except Feist) were entirely part of the act. The whole thing just drips with so much sarcasm that the concoction collapses under its own weight. The show begins as Stephen explains how he wants to earn instead of pay music royalties -- so he writes and sings "It's Another Christmas Song." (Its sarcasm is so arch that I would actually prefer "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.") Then Stephen sees a bear outside his cabin -- his persona has a huge thing against bears -- and fears he will miss the studio taping of his Christmas special. Meanwhile, a parade of guest stars who are to be in the show find their way to the cabin, sing their bit, and leave. A murky-faced Toby Keith stalks in with an assault rifle and sings a benumbed number. I was not amused by Willy Nelson as a fourth king whose gift to Baby Jesus was a bale of ganja! (The number shows everyone in the manger scene, even the animals, smoking pot.) Jon Stewart sings the duet "How About Hannukah?" (my wistful favorite). John Legend sings a soft-porn song about nutmeg. Feist's song "Please Wait for the Next Available Angel" cleverly (if depressingly) compares prayers to getting lost in celestial voicemail jail. Elvis Costello shows up to sing "What's So Boring About Peace, Hope, and Love?" (before the ravenous bear reappears). In two running gags, the applause track is turned up and down quite obviously to rib such televised fakery, and Stephen comments every time two males are under the mistletoe (and finally gets some tongue action). The bonus materials include a video fireside hearth in which Stephen periodically tosses in books for burning, a mildly amusing 25-day video Advent calendar (where he claims Santa Claus must be American because he's fat), and three alternate endings (3x ugh!). The problem with priggish sarcasm that makes fun of self and societal foibles is that, when applied to Christmas, it's more the spirit than the trappings of the holiday that get the shaft. Normally I can separate the depiction of something distasteful from its use to make fun of something distasteful but in this case a great many tasteful things about the holiday get mocked too -- to say nothing of its sacred parts (which I understand, by ignoring them, implicitly lampoons the nationalistic and jingoistic buffoonery of Colbert's TV persona). I'm just saying it's too far of a stretch and you have to look really hard to find anything chuckleworthy. I love Jon Stewart's fake news show and Stephen Colbert's fake talk show but I think our youngest generation needs more than what's fake to appreciate what's real. This Christmas special crassly if fashionably skewers the crass along with the traditional -- and that's just sad. Somehow "America's favorite delusional pundit" satirizing commercial crassness by being even more commercially crass only stuck to the wall like week-old skivvies, even as the exercise left tradition as well as Christmas itself lying in a heap on the floor. 2 stars.