Finding Cooper's Heaven (Climbing Jake's Ladder) (2008)

It's quite rare for me to see a "bad" movie because I take measures to minimize the likelihood I will be disappointed in my movie viewing selections. There are simply too many good to excellent movies (Crash, The Island, Avatar, Dark Knight) for me to want to mess with borderline or questionable ones (Norbit, White Chicks, Lottery Ticket, Doogal). Sometimes I intentionally try a stinker (Throg) or a popular movie fails to impress me (40-Year-Old Virgin). Finding Cooper's Heaven, however, is a case of a "bad" movie clothed in spiritual trappings that partly redeem it and partly make it even worse. Let me be clear: This movie's problem is its budget. And its script. And its acting. And its directing. And its editing. And its camerawork. And its lighting. And its soundtrack. And its preachiness. Discount these things, and it's barely mediocre. (The casting is only half-bad -- unless you include the acting.) There is no space to enumerate the jawdroppingly poor examples of these professional skill sets that abound in literally every scene. (On the plus side, this film could occupy an entire clinic on how not to make a movie. I'm not being mean, just candid, since I don't believe in writing a review without closely watching the whole movie from opening to closing credits.) These problems notwithstanding, the movie was made by a cluster of Vineyard and Baptist church families for spiritual reasons not artistic or technical ones. (Neither the movie nor anyone involved with it is so much as mentioned in IMDB.) Finding Cooper's Heaven did involve me emotionally somewhat because it addresses some of our deepest sorrows and fears: death of a family member and parents searching for lost children. Unfortunately, the production feels patently staged and manipulative because its low production values constantly broadcast exactly how it is staged and manipulative. (To make a good movie, you write and film good scenes then pare away everything that gets in the way. This film is nothing but mediocre scenes strung together by transitions that are eyesores.) The only audience for this movie, which has been awarded a Dove seal for its innocuous family values and low-key but insipid evangelical message, is the Amway and Wal-Mart crowd plus anyone who can accept several rungs of quality below the Lifetime channel. (Incidentally, I had to rent it from a competing service because this service only stocked it on two occasions for 1-2 weeks each.) 2.5 stars.