The Pacifier (2005)

Vin Diesel can never be counted on to act per se, however, he is making a name for himself as a sculpted wooden prop who can mouth his way through a passable script. He's like a schnauzer or a bulldog next to Arnold Schwarzenegger's Rottweiler or Dwayne Johnson's doberman. Vin in The Pacifier is a lesser Ahnuld in Kindergarten Cop or Dwayne in Game Plan. This is a Disney movie so more than formulaic, it is at times downright artificial, sappy, and manipulative; but like Spy Kids or Cats and Dogs, it is a feel-good movie at heart and that counts for something. (It got to me a bit in the end.) In fact, I would have probably given The Pacifier 4 stars if not for the internecine dustups between girl and boy scout troops outside a grocery store and the dopey role of a bullying wrestling coach played by Brad Garrett (who gets humiliated by Vin before he "finds his calling" boogying in a nun's habit during a stage production of The Sound of Music). It stretches credulity beyond even the threshhold of a Disney movie that Vin's character, a no-nonsense Navy Seal, can adapt overnight to the rigors of being a 24/7 nanny, resolve everyone's life issues, and win over the hearts of all in the family. (Where are all the younger kids while he is directing the oldest child's stage musical?) I also liked Faith Ford as the mom, however, she disappears for two weeks of the storyline, supposedly offering guess after guess to a Eurobank password "for reasons of national security." Ri-i-ight. On a lesser note, expect a range of grossout diaper and mild fart humor. On the whole, The Pacifier is better than RV -- though outclassed by Cats and Dogs. 3.5 stars.