The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)

Woody Allen has a lock on playing the nattering nebbish who attracts alluring women -- so people should stop complaining that they don't find him to be a credible romantic interest in his movies. It's his schtick to be neurotic, nerdy, and antic -- and if Henry Kissinger can attract Jill St. John in real life, why can't Woody Allen attract Helen Hunt in his own movie? Speaking of the movie, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion isn't jaded just formulaic. The story lurches through its paces. Allen, as an old-school seat-of-the-pants insurance investigator in 1940, clashes with Helen Hunt as the newly hired efficiency expert. Their chemistry could clearly use more fire but the best dialog in the film is the parting shots between these two in scene after scene (in the droll manner of "Don't let the door hit your backside on the way out and cause spinal damage"). Allen also bandies some trademark one-liners with Charlise Theron's sultry siren ("You like athletic men? Because I could maybe fit in a pushup or two before you come over"). As a movie, Jade is fun but wooden. Woody has done better. Intellectually, I recognized the wittiness of Allen's patter but emotionally, I never laughed as with his earlier work, though I nearly chuckled once. Helen Hunt showed more spunk in As Good As It Gets and at one point looks downright haggard. Jade is such a pale homage to The Thin Man that I long for Myrna Loy and William Powell. Its period jazz soundtrack is a delight but I thought Night in a Persian Market was overused as a theme. 3 stars.