Howard the Duck (1986)

As my Netflix friend Denis said, Howard the Duck is a love-it-or-hate-it movie. I finally saw it. I was intrigued by the premise of a duck-with-attitude from another planet come to Earth to do something-or-other and (reportedly) get it on with Lea Thompson. Well. This. Movie. Stinks. Granted, it came from the 80s, so I can forgive a certain amount of tastelessness. However, it only weakly fulfills its premise and the production values and special effects approach garage-level if not garbage-level quality. George Lucas had his name on the screen and all I could think of as this -- thing -- rolled on and on was "This is 10 years after Star Wars debuted and this is the best they can do?" I realize the people that enjoy this film take all the trashy special effects in stride and have a hoot of a time but all I could do was wince. You will see the longest chase scene you could ever care to see on an ultralight flyer, careening under power lines and over bridges while spraying sparks and electric arcs. Jeffrey Johnson (weasely hatchet man in The Devil's Advocate) and Tim Robbins (in his worst role that I have seen and nearly the worst role ever) play scientists who have invented a space-cannon-like device they call a "spectrograph" which, of course, malfunctions, giving us every bit of this sordid plot. The ever-plucky (heh) Howard falls in with Lea Thompson, who leads an all-girl punk rock band. (Never have you seen so much teased-out hair in one place.) They nearly kiss once. The movie has a few rough words and the humor was nonexistent. (The funniest line is Howard's "If God had meant us to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings." Eh.) I will say I never realized Lea had such long slim gams. (They show them a lot.) I really wanted to like this movie but I just couldn't, though I give them credit for trying (for the first 20 minutes or so). Sad to say, I think the only market for this movie is the 8-18 crowd, so long as they have no sense of taste and just love a good romp -- through schlock and "Aww...!" The ending song is cute but it is only two lines, one which is "Howard the Duck." 2.5 stars.