Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)

When I first saw Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, I was told it was such a bad movie because it had been made to intentionally "win" a Golden Turkey nomination. Well, that factoid can't be true because the Golden Turkeys were just a list of movies in a Michael Medved book that was published two years after the movie. So, Tomatoes earned a Turkey fair and square the normal way -- with blind, misguided sincerity! Our story begins as tubby schlub Mason Dixon is named the dopey American president's lead agent assigned to investigate reports of giant roaming killer tomatoes. The foraging tomatoes bounce or tumble ponderously and some reach the size of a (very rotund) cow. The script is fetid and the acting is memorably dank. (Nonplussed grandparents: "Oh no, a giant tomato's got Timmy." *Snarling, munching sounds off-camera*) The single funniest scene in this movie is the government conference room with barely enough space to sit in the chairs shoehorned around the conference table -- but to reach their chairs, everyone must crawl across the table to their places. (A Honeywell executive laughed when he saw this scene 25 years ago and said he'd been in government conference rooms just like that.) The international meeting's participants also have an entertaining language problem: "Technically, sir, tomatoes are fags." ("He means fruits.") "There's a little jap in the air." ("He means nip.") Eventually, someone comes up with a way to defeat the tomatoes -- provided they can all be herded into the stadium by throngs of extras and you can get the song "Puberty Love" out of your head after the movie ends. This is a hard clip of celluloid to describe or advocate for because you don't want to give it more credit than it deserves (which is very little). Still it's a perennial favorite among those who enjoy intentionally, memorably, and even delightfully bad movies. Scary Movie is Oscar material compared to this low-budget howler. I can also clearly attest it is better than Strangeheart, Throg, and Doggie Poo. I'll have to catch it again sometime -- once every 25 years seems about right. Pass the ketchup! 2.5 stars.