Battle of Los Angeles (2011)

Please note that 9 out of 10 reviews on this rental service state that this movie, Battle of Los Angeles, sucks or is "one of the worst movies ever made." This is not the mainstream must-see sci-fi movie Battle: Los Angeles! It is a lamentably, pathetically, piss-poor low-budget rendition that tarnishes even the crappy made-for-TV reputation of Sy-Fy channel. I should have paid attention to the fact that Nia Peeples was the only actor whose name I recognized (and her track record is none too good). Our story begins, of course, as a gigantic-sized alien ship invades earth and begins sending out scouting and fighter ships. The mother ship has force-field shields and can repel as well as instantly retarget our missiles -- not good for our fighter pilots at all. Speaking of our Right Stuff crew, most are women pilots (who look like Hollywood actresses, complete with eyeliner, in flight masks) who talk all "ballsy" while the lead male pilot quivers in his boots failing to take off for many minutes as a growling bulldog of a commander (Robert Pike Daniel) snarls a half-dozen ultimatums to take off or have his balls shot off. (So do it already! And put the movie out of its misery while you are at it.) Once the survivors are reconnoitering through warehouses and taking pot shots at scout ships and enemy fighters, the alien scouts inexplicably stop using their ray-gun turrets and start blasting fusillades of sparking *bullets* from wobbly mounted guns! An alien-savvy warrior (Peeples) also appears with an eye patch and *katana* blade and dispatches dozens of alien probes and scouts, mano a mano style. So now you know just how ludicrous this movie is (and those are just the highlights). I don't think any drinking game could keep up with whatever range of idiocies you could pick out to razz in this one. You have been warned: Sy-Fy. Peeples. Alien ships shooting sparking bullets. If you are still interested, more power to you. Come join the gutsy ranks of viewers who have watched this movie from start to end. Our heads did not explode. We have lived to tell about it -- and warn those who don't like to simmer their brains in sci-fi dreck. 2 stars.