2001: A Space Travesty (2000)

Sure, it's not as funny as his other movies, but it's not as rancid as people say. This is Leslie Nielsen not Robin Williams, people! Look at the cover art -- coneheads, phallic aliens and Nielsen's vacant-eyed stare -- does this look like a cinematic masterpiece to you? Anyway the women are hot and the alien costumes are great; don't miss the quick bits including background chatter and Bush Sr. There is enough here to make me want to see it again or to freeze-frame certain scenes -- if I had time. Sure, it's schlock -- and not his best schlock. Sure, it insults your intelligence -- but it doesn't bitch-slap it into unconsciousness. There is enough comic genius here to please the indulgent soul -- though if you keep a laffometer on hand, you probably don't have the patience. 2.5 stars.

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)

I finally purchased and watched the final Star Trek movie in the franchise and I found it to be an exceptionally riveting and emotionally moving denouement to the Star Trek corpus. Only nitpicking Trekkers without a real life would call this a sucky movie (and they do). What's up with hissyfit critiques on the order of "Capt. Picard had three more grey hairs in this movie -- man, he is showing his age and should be retired"? "Lt. Cmdr. Data's left eye is .001% less yellow than his right eye -- he looks terrible"? "After all the trouble with Lore, why would they reassemble B4?" (Hm, maybe something to do with "to seek out new life and new civilizations"?) "Too much emotion, not enough science" from some and "too much science, I wanted more emotion" from others? You just can't please the schematic nerds. Moviemaking is ideally about story, characters and drama -- with inevitable compromises (against the print genre in favor of the visual genre or against rigorous franchise consistency in favor of suspense). Nemesis holds up the best, in my mind, against all other Star Trek movies in this regard: No cheesy humor (Spock employing "colorful metaphors"), anachronistic pop culture references ("Lock and load") or deus ex machina time-travel machinations; instead we get a completely self-contained character- and story-driven narrative with a build and resolution that makes sense from start to finish. I was alternately frozen to my seat and moved with great sentiment by the transitions and choices of every character. Each actor did yeoman's work in his or her part. Picard found a match in his clone (who, for the benefit of his detractors, does not act like Picard because he's an evil clone -- and don't forget, it's nature and nurture) as did his clone in him. In the end, the Enterprise and Picard would have been bested if not for Data -- his legacy is secure. My favorite of the ten franchise films, Star Trek: First Contact, is more iconic and fannishly sentimental but Star Trek: Nemesis holds together and stands alone with greater dramatic integrity. 5 stars.

Transformers (2007)

Boys will be boys and bots will be bots but let's ignore the nostalgia effect. As a parent, I've studiously ignored Transformers all my life but trust me and check it out -- this movie stands on its own and rocks! The acting is subpar, beneath War of the Worlds and even Back to the Future, but if you don't sweat it then the special effects will impress you. This movie depicts military satellite and other technology believably but the overwhelming attraction is the Transformers. Seeing those vehicles rachet, contort and morph into towering robotic hulks with emotionally expressive mecha-faces will blow you away every time. Vaguely reminiscent of Spider-Man, King Kong and The Matrix for its urban battle for the cosmos, Transformers will only disappoint SFX-driven action movie fans if they complain about expecting more from a movie that's based on a children's toy and TV series. If that's all you were expecting, you will have a blast! 5 stars.

The Pink Panther Classic Cartoon Collection (1969)

TV. Pure pink pleasure drawn from the original 1960s cartoon episodes. The Instant Viewing offerings currently include all listed cartoons on the first two of five discs. With its spare artistic style and memorable Mancini music, this treasure trove hardly ever dates itself while the physical humor is always choice and the sound effects classic. A must-see for all ages. 4.5 stars.

The Simpsons: Christmas 2 (2000)

TV. Not the best Simpsons theme disc or Christmas four-episode collection possible, but it's 80% as funny as the usual Simpsons fare. Most episodes have a tenuous connection to Christmas: (1) As Mr. Burns's paid "prank monkey," Homer Simpson (playing Santa in the town Christmas parade because he's endomorphically fit for the job) is commanded to fling fish offal on the happy crowd—but finds a stand-in. (2) In "Skinner's Sense of Snow," Principal Skinner and the children of Springfield Elementary are snowed in by a blizzard with only an inept Homer Simpson to save them. (3) Homer is tired of the Christmas songs that are in the public domain so he writes the implausible hit "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders" (which even Ned and his kids cheerfully sing and William Shatner covers), so to escape this latest song he has gotten sick of, the family spends most of the episode at a dude ranch. (4) In the cleverest (most truly Simpsonian) episode of the bunch with plenty of bits to please or peeve everyone (including parodies of Jimmy Stewart, Mr. Magoo and A Christmas Carol), Homer grinchily steals the whole town's Christmas presents after his Buddhist daughter Lisa tells him people should find the joy and meaning of the holiday without the commercial trappings. 4 stars.