The Safe Side: Internet Safety (2006)

The Safe Side: Internet Safety is a very goofy, fun, kid-oriented video that adequately communicates the important lessons about Internet safety to children. John Walsh is involved and Julie Clark does an amazing job as Safe Side Superchick with Pippi Longstocking-style pigtails and a trademark "ha ha!" Parents may roll their eyes but kids eat this stuff up and laugh their way through their learning. The dangers of the Internet are explained frankly but not overplayed. (One greasy smoking chat room guy gets the message across in three seconds.) My youngest son loves this video and after two viewings can tick off the vital lessons! 4 stars.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season 2 (1988)

The second season of my most favorite sci-fi program ever hits its stride as Data plays Sherlock Holmes and the prickly Q introduces the overpowering Borg. Disc 1, Episodes 1-4: The Child (impregnated by a luminous being, Troi gives birth to a fast-maturing visitor), Where Silence Has No Lease (the ship enters an inescapable void where a soulless intellect threatens death), Elementary Dear Data (Data and Geordi, playing Holmes and Watson on the holodeck, unwittingly create a self-aware Prof. Moriarty who would escape the holodeck), The Outrageous Okona (the ship takes in a rogue smuggler who is wanted on two worlds linked by a pregnant girl as Data tries to learn standup comedy). Disc 2, Episodes 5-8: Loud as a Whisper (a deaf and telepathic mediator with his tripartite chorus takes an interest in Troi), The Schizoid Man (a brilliant if narcissistic scientist usurps Data's mind), Unnatural Selection (a genetically enhanced race of telekinetic children may be causing a rapid-aging epidemic), A Matter of Honor (Riker adapts to the challenges of an exchange post of command on a Klingon ship). Disc 3, Episodes 9-12: The Measure of a Man (Data counters a decision to disassemble and study him as Starfleet property, fighting to prove his legal status as a person), The Dauphin (Wesley falls for a girl who will unite her warring world -- yet she has a secret), Contagion (the ship takes on a destructive infection linked to a Romulan presence), The Royale (the away team becomes trapped in a recreation of a badly written casino novel and must play along to escape). Disc 4, Episodes 13-16: Time Squared (the ship finds a duplicate shuttle and Capt. Picard who is the sole survivor of their total destruction six hours in the future), The Icarus Factor (Riker is offered command of a ship but only at the hands of his estranged father as Wesley prepares a Klingon birthday celebration involving pain sticks for Lt. Worf), Pen Pals (Data violates the Prime Directive to communicate with and then save a small girl on a dying planet), Q Who? (John Delancie's contrarian Q challenges the ship by throwing them against the cybernetic hive-mind Borg). Disc 5, Episodes 17-20: Samaritan Snare (the ship is occupied by a distress call from dunderheads), Up the Long Ladder (the ship must rescue one colony of Irish bumpkins and one colony of elitist clones then reconcile the two), Manhunt (Troi's free-spirit mother -- played by Majel Barrett -- seeks a husband in Picard, Riker, and even the holodeck), The Emissary (Worf is intimate with a Klingon emissary sent to help avert hostilities from a long-frozen ship's crew). Disc 6, Episodes 21-22: Peak Performance (Picard and Riker command mismatched ships in a war game exercise that is full of surprises), Shades of Gray (Riker is infected with a deadly virus that is defeated by inciting memories from previous episodes). [Bold are best, italic are weakest.] 5 stars.

Blushing Bloopers (2002)

Blushing Bloopers means embarrassing gaffes with colorful language -- so no, these outtakes should not be shown to 10-year-olds and no, they do not merit an R rating. (The Soupy Sales topless dance is hilarious but would earn a PG-13 for "brief nudity.") Also please understand that this collection is not America's Funniest Videos with the Bob Saget comic schtick introducing each snippet. Here we have stream-of-consciousness goofs generally chased by cusswords -- ribald, risque, rapid-fire, and raw bloopers from Abbott & Costello to Ronald Reagan to M*A*S*H and much more. It is a hoot to see and hear Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin ad-libbing their intro to The Caddy but don't expect digital remastering of tossed-off bloopers from the 1940s to the 1970s! The height of hilarity in this collection are Carol Burnett's droopy undercarriage and John-Boy Walton ("That's no reason to hang him by his balls from the Christmas tree!") and Porky the Pig ("Son of a b-b-b-!"). IW. 3 stars.

Primer (2004)

I initially thought Primer was a weak, mumbly mess that could have been much better written, edited, and acted. I had hoped for Enigma but got Office Space instead (so I said). However, given its $7K budget and my network and audio problems right before getting a new laptop, I decided to give Primer a second chance (and a third view). It is a fairly memorable story for being so low-key if intentionally cryptic. Primer is no Memento (which I have seen eight times) but it still holds my interest enough that I expect to figure it out. As for the story, two garage-startup engineers puzzle their way into inventing a time machine and agree to keep it secret -- yet all they do is pussyfoot around, unethically use themselves as test subjects, and scheme to do who knows what else. (Q. What kind of time machine requires you to sit in a crate in a storage locker for 10 hours at a crack? A. One that costs $7K in PVC pipe and grommets!) Layer on layer of temporal complexity is implied in the film's second half -- I just wish for exposition at least as clear as the muttered technogabble (which I get) in the film's first half. I hope the sepia, blue, and green tones in most scenes were intentional for artistic reasons and not just for the lack of UV, fluorescent, and other filters. Primer is on the whole memorable and impressive, esp. given its limited resources, but properly produced it could be so much more. It is like a cat burglar who had the entire museum to himself yet only lifted a box of Kit Kat bars from the gift shop. 2 stars up to 3 stars. (9-5-07 updated 9-7-08)

The Happy Elf (2005)

This Rankin-Bass-like animated feature is a great new Christmas classic. Harry Connick Jr. makes a cool storyteller about the inhabitants of Bluesville and Eubie the elf's plan to redeem them from Santa's naughty list. The animation and voice talent (featuring Lewis Black, Mickey Rooney, and Rob Paulsen) together make for perfect schmaltz and holiday cheer. The Happy Elf was formerly available on Netflix via Instant Watch but is currently Unavailable, however, I was able to purchase my own copy. Yowza! 4.5 stars.

Ben 10: Race Against Time (2007)

This live-action take on the popular alien-tech-powered superhero cartoon series for kiddos is pretty good for special effects and passable for plot and acting. I like the Men-in-Black-style subplot (esp. the elevator and alter-egos) that causes Ben to say, "I guess Bellwood isn't so boring after all." Robert Picardo brings an understated humor to his role as school principal. Graham Phillips does well as Ben Tennyson. Haley Ramm does the best as his smarter sister Gwen. Don McManus and Beth Littleford are a subtle hoot as parents intent on treating Ben with "enlightened" or "new age" sensibilities. The strongest and my favorite character in the cartoon series, Grandpa Max, is played by Lee Majors as sort of a cross between Nick Nolte and Jimmy Buffet. Christien Anholt is pure cardboard as the uberego xenovillain Eon. The climactic scenes feel like a complete mishmash or hatchet job -- confusing and cartoonish in the worst sense. Just barely 3 stars. (9/1/08)