The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (Luftslottet Som Sprängdes) (2009)

I never got to see the third Lisbeth Salander movie in the art house theater but I just found it available on streaming and watched it last night. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest continues the saga of Lisbeth Salander and provides closure to the riveting events of the movie triad. The danger is less gripping though since Lisbeth spends half her time recuperating in the hospital and half her time in court fighting for justice and freedom (as opposed to fighting for her very life against a string of uber-bad guys in the first two movies). She has a couple confrontations with baddies in this movie but they feel perfunctory and clipped. (I won't compare the books to the movies except to say generally the books tell the story better. I look forward to seeing the American take on these three films; I may complain about the clang-and-clatter- on-steroids of contemporary American thrillers but this film, set in Stockholm and using previously unknown actors just feels -- continental -- like something much closer to The Eye of the Needle than to The Bourne Ultimatum.) In this film Lisbeth's hacking skills are glossed over and the Millennium issue is suddenly published in time for her trial, which is won in less than an hour after carrying in reams of "revised" evidence that no one has had time to read. Like the Harry Potter movies, it is interesting cinema because the books are so much more detailed and entertaining while the movie standing alone seems to be touching bases or ticking off a checklist of scenes. I enjoyed the movie but I wanted it to be more evocative of Lisbeth's dangers and battles. 4.5 stars. (1-27-11 posted 5-30-11)

Rare Birds (2001)

At least since The Accidental Tourist, William Hurt seems to excel at playing the distracted male who responds to the gravitational pull of a woman (esp. if she's the closest heavenly body). In Rare Birds, he is a chef and restaurateur whose establishment is situated on the coastal boondocks of Newfoundland. His wife has moved to Washington D.C., divorce seems imminent (not that he would take any action to remedy the situation), and the restaurant is so empty that he's going to have to sell it. His closest neighbor and friend (played by Andy Jones) is an inventor with several impressive projects and a few paranoid theories in the works; he drums up a plan to call in a false sighting of a rare bird so that the restaurant will grow flush with clientele. The plan succeeds but guilt works in mysterious ways. Meanwhile, the beautiful vision that is Molly Parker serves as restaurant hostess and a developing love interest. (Some kvetch about the age difference between Hurt and Parker but to me that is imposing the real world on the fictional world: Hurt does not look that old, their connection has more to do with intellect than chronology, and besides, what man would refuse to be with Parker?) Rare Birds plays the "real world" of the restaurant and culinary arts against the "intellectual world" of inventions and conspiracies, blending one into another in a giant furtive salad. Rare Birds is full of understated fun, whimsy, and quirkiness. It turns out I like it a great deal. 4.5 stars.

Despicable Me (2010)

I greatly enjoyed Despicable Me, watching my rental three times in one weekend. Sure, it helps that I love the superhero/villain and mad/evil scientist schtick esp. with its over-the-top inventions and weapon technologies and esp. when it is turned on its ear and institutionalized as its own nation state (Igor), global smackdown (Monsters vs. Aliens, Megamind), or suburban veneer (Powerpuff Girls, Despicable Me). Our story begins as Gru (Steve Carell) seeks additional funding from the Bank of Evil ("formerly Lehmann Brothers") to build a rocket with which he will steal the moon. He is also battling a nerdy young upstart supervillain named Vector (Will Arnett), whose well-defended fortress is not far from Gru's dark manse set in the midst of white-picket-fence suburbia. Gru decides to adopt and front three cookie-selling orphan girls to regain the upper hand on Vector. Naturally, Gru is clueless about children and resistant to the girls' requests for attention but eventually they begin to appeal to his inner softie. In the end, can Gru accomplish his space mission, make it to the girls' dance recital, and defeat Vector? Steve Carell is ideal for the role of Gru as a vaguely Slavic, hook-nosed, bald guy with a penchant for megalomania and a compound full of little yellow gibbering "minions" that are hilarious and just too darn cute. I intend to own this movie outright, otherwise I would not patronize the studio, which has hobbled the extras on rental copies to try to drive disc sales. To the moon and back again, 5 stars.

Whatever Works (2009)

Larry David starts Whatever Works chatting over drinks with his buddies before he bursts the bubble and starts talking about the audience ("What, you guys don't see that whole crowd of people out there that's watching us?") and to the audience. In what resembles something like Woody Allen mensching in A Feast of Love, or a meaner and crankier House M.D., retired physicist Boris Yellnikoff (Larry David) reveals himself to be a cynical curmudgeon who no longer believes in much of anything and considers all other humans to be "submental idiots" and "inchworms." (IMDB has piles of great quotes, by the way.) In a moment of charitableness, he takes in a hungry 21-year-old Mississippi girl, Melanie St. Ann Celestine (Rachel Evan Wood), who has just arrived in New York and he helps her start a life in the big city. He starts rubbing off on her and she begins to have feelings for him so they become one of the strangest "odd couples" you could meet. Meanwhile, the girl's mother and father look up their long-lost daughter, move to New York, and make major changes to their former Bible Belt mindsets. In a sea change if not a feeding frenzy of searching for love, everyone in the ensemble cast essentially proves Larry David's premise that all life requires to be happy is "whatever works." This is relativistic anathema to people of faith but he makes an entertaining contrarian point. I like this movie even better than Abby & Ira. 4.5 stars.

The Rookie (2002)

The Rookie is a Randy Quaid vehicle that does for the love of baseball what Rudy and Invincible do for football. As our true story begins, a gifted young baseball player named Jim Morris is forced to move yet again by his military father, this time to a west Texas town that bears no hint of interest in baseball. The friendly general store owner tells him of a vestige, however, in a sandlot field near the now-closed oil well that birthed the town long ago. (Interestingly, the movie opens and closes with the story of two nuns who "blessed" the land with "rose petals," leading to its future prosperity. This is a gauzy if spiritual way of referring to a central theme in Quaid's life that we only see through his restoration to such a path: "Keep on sowing your seed, for you never know which one will grow. It may even be that they all will.") Morris gets no support from his father and grows up resentful of and estranged from him -- though he still lives in the same small town and serves as coach to the fledgling baseball team. In the first half of the film, he teaches the team how to be champions just as they challenge him to pursue his dream of trying out and playing for a major-league team. In the second half of the film, we learn what an exceptional pitching gift this man possesses and we root for him at every crossroad, challenge, and victory. What is even more moving than this two-in-one premise is this movie's depiction of how the same men who befriended Morris on the first day of his arrival in town are still standing by and cheering for him in his finest hour. Moreover, The Rookie then addresses Morris's relationship with his father, bringing closure and healing to each in their own ways. The Rookie is a family movie you can root for out loud -- emotionally, this one flies out of the ball park. If you love baseball, Texas, or small-town America, you will love The Rookie. 4.5 stars.

Arcibel's Game (El Juego de Arcibel) (2004)

Arcibel's Game could almost be called The Accidental Revolutionary. It is Romero meets The Shawshank Redemption or a secular take on Of Gods and Men. It reaches stirring and even epic heights though, owing to a few minor weaknesses, it falls slightly short of being epic. Our story begins shortly before the chess columnist for a newspaper in the fictional nation of Miranda is arrested on political charges. A florid and poetic writer, he explains how he was only writing about the king and pawns of a chessboard but a last-minute word change by his editor has made such protestations of innocence untenable in the eyes of the authorities. Arcibel is locked up in prison -- without charges and hence no legal basis to ever be freed -- for virtually the rest of his life. This movie is about the dashed hopes and crushing frustration of political imprisonment and how one insightful man learned over the decades to cultivate his mental tableau and emotional landscape to preserve his dignity -- and to provide a positive example to his daughter and a rough-edged young cellmate who eventually changed the face of the nation. The story arc of this movie is timely and of special interest as democratic revolutions spread in the Middle East. It is a powerful movie about one man's legacy and one country's political destiny, whichever party or person is in political ascendancy. You may also appreciate its moving Oscar-caliber musical score. (Since it has been a Save title here for years, I had to rent it from a competing service that needed three attempts over two weeks before Ballbuster finally sent the correct disc.) See this is you can! 4.5 stars.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Wild World of Batwoman (1993)

Despite growing up in the metro area that birthed Mystery Science Theater 3000, I had only seen snippets of the show until I sat down to watch their full treatment of an entire movie via streaming this week. The prevailing opinion seems to be that The Wild World of Batwoman (1966) is the second-worst movie (after Manos: The Hands of Fate) ever snarked up by the MST crew. If this movie confuses you or you are otherwise unable to discern a plot, it is because there is none! Batwoman looks like a buxom Mardi Gras queen in her suburban hideout and her 1960s beachcomber-couture nymphettes are even more brainless after the suburbanite bad guys repeatedly slip everyone a "happy pill" that makes them dance like Gidget on American Bandstand. There is a "mad scientist" who acts like a Slavic Mr. Whipple, his idiot lab assistant, and something about an "atomic hearing aid." Batwoman's nemesis, Ratfink, sports the same dopey costume as Rat Pfink (look it up) and the climactic chase scene involves (I kid you not) five Ratfink "clones" (actually, holograms) running around a living room table. My impression is that the MST guys-and-bots tend to be funnier when they have better material to work with. In this case, they were funny enough; simply put, I would not want to sit through this movie without their ribbing. (Best lines: "The music sure is bad but at least it drowns out the dialog," "Boy, you know a movie is bad when it makes The Monkees look good!" and, as the movie closes: "END!! END!!") The late (but then mid-forties) Katherine Victor as Batwoman looks attractive so long as she stays in costume (poofy hair, face mask, low bustline) but apparently felt that appearing in Jerry Warren movies like this one hurt her acting career. I agree but not for politics -- appearing in a movie like this would kill any career. 2.5 stars. (3-10-11 posted 5-30-11)

A Town Called Panic (Pannique au Village) (2009)

A Town Called Panic is a frenetically kinetic stopmotion film in French (with English subtitles, if you like). The rural hamlet called Panic is little more than a crossroads with a policeman's booth, then to the right a farm run by Steven (who gruffly shouts everything he says) and Janine, and to the left a house occupied by Horse, Cowboy, and Indian. As plastic figurines, Policeman and Indian generally always have one arm up in the air and Janine holds a milk pail, though the figurines also contort themselves and gambol about as the story requires. Horse seems like a father figure to two juvenile charges, partly because he has a deep voice, often clears his throat with the words "What's this?" and asserts his authority. Cowboy and Indian occasionally show a bit of maturity though for the vast majority of the time they wrestle and snipe like adolescents. The problem arises as they scramble to come up with a belated birthday present for Horse. Their solution is to get Steven to ask Horse to drive to the schoolhouse of Madame Longree (the teacher, also a horse, and single) to fetch Steven's animals -- so Cowboy and Indian can order 100 bricks on the Internet (however, a great many zeroes get accidentally added to the order). The arrival of the bricks and how Horse, Cowboy, and Indian deal with them -- and face down all the resulting complications -- involves alternate dimensions and lots of slapstick. The voice talent is quite stereotypically French (and the subtitles don't translate *every* word!). I greatly enjoyed A Town Called Panic. 4.5 stars.

Battle of Los Angeles (2011)

Please note that 9 out of 10 reviews on this rental service state that this movie, Battle of Los Angeles, sucks or is "one of the worst movies ever made." This is not the mainstream must-see sci-fi movie Battle: Los Angeles! It is a lamentably, pathetically, piss-poor low-budget rendition that tarnishes even the crappy made-for-TV reputation of Sy-Fy channel. I should have paid attention to the fact that Nia Peeples was the only actor whose name I recognized (and her track record is none too good). Our story begins, of course, as a gigantic-sized alien ship invades earth and begins sending out scouting and fighter ships. The mother ship has force-field shields and can repel as well as instantly retarget our missiles -- not good for our fighter pilots at all. Speaking of our Right Stuff crew, most are women pilots (who look like Hollywood actresses, complete with eyeliner, in flight masks) who talk all "ballsy" while the lead male pilot quivers in his boots failing to take off for many minutes as a growling bulldog of a commander (Robert Pike Daniel) snarls a half-dozen ultimatums to take off or have his balls shot off. (So do it already! And put the movie out of its misery while you are at it.) Once the survivors are reconnoitering through warehouses and taking pot shots at scout ships and enemy fighters, the alien scouts inexplicably stop using their ray-gun turrets and start blasting fusillades of sparking *bullets* from wobbly mounted guns! An alien-savvy warrior (Peeples) also appears with an eye patch and *katana* blade and dispatches dozens of alien probes and scouts, mano a mano style. So now you know just how ludicrous this movie is (and those are just the highlights). I don't think any drinking game could keep up with whatever range of idiocies you could pick out to razz in this one. You have been warned: Sy-Fy. Peeples. Alien ships shooting sparking bullets. If you are still interested, more power to you. Come join the gutsy ranks of viewers who have watched this movie from start to end. Our heads did not explode. We have lived to tell about it -- and warn those who don't like to simmer their brains in sci-fi dreck. 2 stars.

Starz Studios: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Here is a Starz Studios preview presentation that is focused on one movie only -- and it does an exceptional job in 12 minutes, giving us behind-the-scenes chatter and promotional patter as Johnny Depp and others talk about their roles in the production of the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean release. If you are interested in the movie that earned $90 million on its opening weekend and an estimated $40 million on its second weekend (falling to third place, hmm), this is must-see footage. 4 stars.

Power Play (1978)

Power Play is a good 1970s coup-de-etat film starring a low-key Peter O'Toole as the linchpin among revolutionaries who outsmarts them all. Everyone does yeoman's work in their roles, esp. David Hemmings and Donald Pleasence. This is what we had to watch at the midpoint between Bridge Over the River Kwai and Tom Clancy. I had to rent it from a competing service since it is in Save limbo along with tens of thousands of other titles here. 3 stars.

Kiss of Death (1977)

Kiss of Death is an early Mike Leigh film that I debated whether to finish (and my rule is to always finish). Call it a scrum-budget British version of Napoleon Dynamite at its best moments but mostly drier in plot and character interest than Film Geek and The Snake. (It is actually episode 147 of 310 from the 15-year BBC Birmingham TV series Play for Today, which might explain the bad audio and hard-to-catch dialects.) The lead characters are a foursome of thoroughly uninteresting working-class Brits -- frizzy-headed Trevor (David Threlfall) and nondescript best friend Ronnie (John Wheatley) plus Ronnie's round-headed girl Sandra (Angela Curran) and her average-looking friend Linda (Kay Adshead), the least cipher of the bunch. Trevor is a funeral assistant who functions best in a work setting, Ronnie is largely sullen, Sandra seems moody, and Linda is the most social. They all visibly struggle to extend their social interactions but Linda is probably the most normal. She has a habit of constantly chewing and smacking gum but takes the initiative in a hit-and-miss effort to establish a connection with Trevor. ("So do you like me? Do you think I'm pretty?") Trevor favors long periods of silence, laughs inappropriately, hides in a book in lieu of social plans and so on. The quartet's interactions are painfully awkward but that is the movie's appeal: showing us the unpolished side of the social coin. Kiss of Death is not for everyone -- I did not like it -- but it has made me think and I appreciate it more over time for that. 2.5 stars.

Domo: Vol. 1 (2008)

I am happy to discover Domo, a felt- or flannel-covered fella who resembles a giant chiclet with a permanently gaping mouth. His vocalizations suggest words but his actions clearly express his emotions. Domo gives the strong impression of a hyperactive or even slightly dimwitted child -- but his strength of spirit and adventure never flags. His activities and body language are all about the thrill of discovery and he is always doing something (often running). The theme song is simple and frankly could become grating on its own so be sure to watch the episodes straight through without idling at the main menu to gather snacks. The tune is perfect accompaniment to the frenetic activities of Domo during the intro. The disc contains 13 episodes that run 2.75 minutes each or 36 minutes total so the special features must add 15 to make the 51 minutes mentioned on the sleeve. Vol. 1 episodes include: Camera (Domo takes pictures of everyone -- without film), Balloon (Domo loses his balloon, tries everything to get it back), Headphone (Domo borrows headphones, plugs in to nature), Domo Inc. (Domo plays office under a tree), Robot Dog (Domo walks a robot dog, goes on a mad chase), Brother (Domo finds a bad example in a trio's sibling rivalry), Ice Skating (Domo briefly becomes an expert ice skater), Hungry (a big bear would eat Domo, who later turns the tables), A Mysterious Tree, A Big Tree, Two Domos (a second Domo appears -- which is the impostor?), Secret Hideout (Domo lets out word of his secret hideout), Rock n' Roll (Domo and friends play bad rock until lightning strikes). Domo is really inventive and endearing. I acquired a disc via a competing service since it has long been a Save title here but a 2-disc Korean set exists or you can find many episodes on YouTube in a pinch. 5 stars.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Movie (1992)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Movie is funnier than Clueless meets Office Space when it wants to be and campier than half the vampire movies out there the rest of the time. I streamed it on my phone during its last hour of availability but the stream choked about 140 am with ten minutes remaining and it wouldn't restart so I rented the videotape from the library and enjoyed the whole thing once more with my preteen son (and we would watch it again). The movie predated the TV series by five years so SHUT UP if you are going to carp on a false comparison! The movie is what it is -- a midrange howl for all its campiness -- and was never meant to be as well developed as the series (esp. since its airtime equals just two episodes of the series). I really enjoyed the movie and while I agree the acting is yeomanlike, that's what you expect from a movie that has a frightwigged Paul Rubens ham his way through an extended death scene after being "spiked" with a wooden ruler. (Don't miss the closing credits for more of the same plus Liz Smith reporting on the aftermath of the movie's events.) As it is, I found myself constantly laughing at how well Kristy Swanson pegged the role of the vapid blonde lead cheerleader, how well the cheerleaders played their roles as brainless Valley Girl ditzes, how the school officials were buffoons (smarmy basketball coach to team: "Remember: 'I am a person and I have a right to the ball'" but esp. Stephen Root from Office Space as the principal), and more. The male acting is no worse than An American Werewolf in London -- and surely you are not expecting Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer to channel Hamlet and Macbeth. Finally, don't forget Kristy's effortless hotness. All in all, an easy verdict: 4 stars.

Starz Studios: Bridesmaids / Priest (2011)

This 12.25-minute Starz Studios presentation does a mixed job in presenting us with the following films: Bridesmaids (4 min, 2.5 stars), Priest (2 min, 4 stars), The First Grader (3 min, 4.5 stars), Everything Must Go (.5 min, 3.5 stars), Thor (2.5 min, 3.5 stars). Because I have read and heard good things, I was previously quite interested in seeing every film (except The First Grader, which I had not heard of), however, the Bridesmaids preview was so boring that it greatly diminished my interest in seeing that movie and the previews for Everything Must Go and Thor mildly decreased my interest in those two movies. Priest did a very good job of keeping up my interest but the star of this Starz Studios installment is The First Grader -- a wonderful and true story of an 89-year-old man who petitioned to attend elementary school after Kenya announced free grade-school education "for everyone." Overall 3.5 stars.

The Plague Dogs (1982)

After Watership Down, Plague Dogs is my all-time second-favorite Richard Adams book. Watership Down is also one of my most favorite movies so I was pleased to finally catch Plague Dogs via streaming. While I wasn't expecting anything as elegantly animated as Watership Down, I found Plague Dogs to be not only faithful to the book but pleasingly animated and voiced. Top names were not necessary for Rowf the labrador and Todd the fox but it greatly helped the story to have John Hurt as the voice of Snitter (so named because snit is etymologically linked to snow, which the dog sees during hallucinations brought on by the exposed brain sutures he acquired in the secret animal laboratory from which the dogs escaped). Snitter is a "holy fool" character who, like Fiver in Watership Down, has visions and intuitions that help guide Rowlf and Todd, who are much more pragmatic, what-meets-the-nose characters. The Scottish brogue that Todd utters is a "feen" part of the book although the film rightly keeps it to a minimum for flavor (since providing subtitles or a glossary did not seem practical). The "plague dogs," as they become known during their treks across the craggy Lake District bordering Scotland, gradually feel the tightening noose of their notoriety until they approach an indeterminate ending that leaves room for the imagination of the reader and viewer. Rowf is stout and will resist to the end; Todd is shifty but will help if he can; Snitter is the psychologically complex character who longs to be reunited with a caring master and worries about the implications of his actions. Small children can watch Plague Dogs so long as they are prepared to handle off-camera scenes of a sheep falling to its death and a dog's foot accidentally firing a gun pointed at a man; simply put, our beloved dogs do not die (on camera or during the movie). Plague Dogs is good fare for adults who love animation, for family movie night, and for children (preferably with parents if under age 8-10). 4.5 stars. (5-11-11)

There Be Dragons (2011)

There Be Dragons tells the layered (some would say murky) story behind a Spanish man's conflicted relationship with his son. On his deathbed, Manolo resolves to tell his journalist son the full story of his childhood friendship with Josemaria Escriva (founder of Opus Dei and canonized as a Catholic saint just 17 years after his death in 1975) as well as his own inner struggles over choosing political sides in the tumultuous years before and during the Spanish Civil War and, as a result, how he became father to his son. The story is really about the split-second decisions that people are forced to make when choosing sides as well as the life-and-death significance and lifelong effects that such decisions often produce. As a pragmatic yet tragically flawed nonbeliever, at one point Manolo quotes Desmond Tutu: "A man has only one thing to teach his son: to choose the winning side." By contrast, Josemaria lived the opposite of a rudderless life since from a young age he saw God as "the winning side" beyond the political vicissitudes of the day. He became a Catholic priest at a time when priests were openly assassinated. So fervent is his love for Christ and his flock that he repeatedly risks his life -- indeed, he only survives because his closest friends spirit him across the border to safety for a time. Josemaria developed the outreach called Opus Dei to teach how ordinary people can find a path to God through ordinary duties and in ordinary surroundings. The story is complex and requires the mental discipline of a novice to follow along but its revelations are sufficiently rewarding. Much like The Mission, this movie would benefit from subsequent viewings and, like most of my 5-star movies, I believe I will purchase this one to own. The title of the movie refers to ancient seafaring maps that stated of uncharted waters: There Be Dragons. 5 stars.

Happy Tree Friends: First Blood (2002)

My favorite cartoonlet in Happy Tree Friends: First Blood is when Sniffles the Anteater tries to eat the ant family as they say grace at the dining room table but they stake down his tongue and attack it with a cheese grater, lemon juice, and so on. To those who gripe about the violence, this is no different than occasional Loony Tunes scenes involving Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, and Wile E. Coyote -- it just makes frenetic action, decapitation, and evisceration a constant theme. To those who complain about the grating theme song, these episodes originally appeared one week apart; no one is forcing you to watch them back to back. In fact, the voice talent and frenetic theme song is a big part of the Happy Tree Friends appeal because it sets the ironic tone of oh-so-cute yet doomed-to-die. Just be ready for lots of squishy messy deaths. (TV-MA means no kids!) First Blood includes: Spin Fun Knowin' Ya (Lumpy the Moose spins the kids on the merry-go-round way too hard), House Warming (Handy the Beaver builds Petunia a treehouse that explodes), Helping Helps (Splendid the Flying Squirrel tries to cover up a fatal rescue), Crazy Ant-ics (ant family fights back against Sniffles the Anteater), Havin' a Ball (Pop retrieves a ball through heavy traffic and helicopter blades), Water You Wading For? (Cuddles the Bunny encounters pirhanas and a gator in the swimming hole), Nuttin' Wrong with Candy (Nutty the Squirrel has a run-in with a vending machine), Wheelin' and Dealin' (Lifty and Shifty the Raccoons steal other car parts during a race), Pitchin' Impossible (Mole causes mayhem at the amusement park), Stayin' Alive (Disco Bear is not the best dance partner), Treasure These Idol Moments (golden idol causes death of five), Chip Off the Ol' Block (lawnmower leads to serious infant mayhem), Nuttin' but the Tooth (Toothy the Beaver plays Frankendentist on Nutty), Hide and Seek (Flippy the Bear acts out Vietnam-vet flashbacks on playmates). 4 stars.

Happy Tree Friends: Winter Break (2004)

Walk, do not run, to see the rating on the left side of this title page. TV-MA means Happy Tree Friends is for mature audiences, not kiddos 10 or under. (I won't let my youngest watch it till he is 15.) That said, Happy Tree Friends is an acquired taste. You will like this Flash animation show only if you enjoy the favorite cartoon show of Bart and Lisa Simpson, The Itchy and Scratchy Show, or other postmodern hits like It's Happy Bunny, 30-Second Bunnies, Shin-chan, Super Milk Chan, Robot Chicken, or any other animated show on Adult Swim. (Conversely, if you have never watched Adult Swim or any of these cartoons, then run, do not walk, in the other direction because you will hate Happy Tree Friends. Do not pass Go, do not write a complaining review.) Happy Tree Friends is populated with cutesy, cooing characters that get bloodily punctured, flattened, incinerated, or gorily eviscerated in every episode. Winter Break presents six cartoons that I found ironically hilarious: Stealing the Spotlight (Lumpy the Moose competes to produce the biggest display of holiday lights), Tongue Twister Trouble (Sniffles the Anteater gets tongue frozen to pond), Out on a Limb (Lumpy chops down a holiday tree but relives 127 Hours), Snow What? That's What (Snuggles and Cro-Marmot engage in snow mayhem), Ski Ya Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya (Flaky the Porcupine has a tortuous encounter with a ski slope), and A Class Act (Lumpy directs a disastrous holiday production) interspersed with six animated holiday card vignettes: Kringle Bells (deer kicks head), Frosty Kringle (Lumpy skis through Frosty and over kids), Kringle Feast (never trust Lumpy with a gas stove), Kringle Karol (carolers meet mayhem), Kringle Presents (electric train kills baby), and Kringle Tree (never trust Lumpy with an ax). 4.5 stars.

National Geographic: Return to Everest/Surviving Everest (1999)

Surviving Everest (1999) does an able-bodied job of presenting the physical and mental challenges of climbing Mount Everest, including commentary drawn on their personal experiences from a number of leading climbers. Since Sir Edmund Hilary attained the peak of Mount Everest in 1953, just 150 people have succeeded in doing the same -- and many have died in the attempt. In this nearly hour-long documentary, climbers explain the teamwork and utter resolve that is necessary to make success even proximately possible -- if the weather holds out on the mountain's shoulders -- and what a thin margin of error on which you walk when above 25,000 feet in altitude, where a crevasse can suddenly open, frostbite or illness can strike, or brain or pulmonary edema can strike and kill you within an hour. Seeing these climbers' faces and hearing their own words is both sobering yet inspiring. The streaming title includes Return to Everest (1984), filmed to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Hilary's topping Mount Everest. Here is the touching tale of the lifelong friendships and philanthropy that Sir Hilary has forged with Tensing Norgay (age 69 in 1983) and the formerly isolated Sherpa villages of Nepal. It is fascinating to see nearly every aspect of Sherpa life and the love and respect that villagers hold for the man who created a charitable foundation and personally helped build 22 schools, numerous clinics and hospitals, and several airstrips for the people he feels so close to that he chose to celebrate the 30th anniversary in the village rather than at the royal festivities in England. Admittedly, at approx. 1.5 hours in length, Return to Everest feels a bit long even for my captivated sensibilities, however, the final 10 minutes add an even more personal touch to the retrospective through an amiable one-on-one interview with Sir Hilary. 4 stars.

National Geographic: Tornado Intercept (2005)

Tornado Intercept is a fairly fast-paced and interesting show about how lifelong tornado chaser Sean Casey (in his pre-Storm Chasers salad days) built his prototype Tornado Intercept Vehicle -- a 7-ton steel-chassis fortress-on-wheels with no AC or amenities -- and drove it from L.A. to Kansas for 5 weeks of tornado hunting. His goal was to drive the amateur-welded TIV, funded by his house mortgage, into a live tornado and come out the other side with IMAX film footage that would serve as proof-of-concept for investors in further film production. It's all seat-of-the-pants stuff and he jokes about how bad it smells inside the TIV but science and the thrill of discovery play prominently here too. Casey lucks out and teams up a white knight in a famed meteorologist who has funded the construction of several Storm Doppler trucks to bring radar analysis out to the field, pinpoint tornado development, and predict touchdown tracks. Each man benefits from this collaboration because Doppler cannot analyze wind speeds lower than 30 feet above ground while the TIV can take direct measurements on the ground. Even so, fortune does not smile on them. The previous season saw 500 tornadoes across the midwest but the current season brought only 150. Some storms prove impossible to film and human error comes into play too. It is only on the last day that they see and achieve a close encounter with a tornado. That footage is not as impressive as one would hope but the documentary overall has some beautiful shots of approaching tornadoes and near misses. Do not listen to complainers who imply "If you've seen one tornado, you've seen them all." Where is their thrill of discovery? Love of science? Sense of adventure? IMAX film makers and lovers tend to have these things in spades. Of course it's not HD -- it's IMAX! I will never understand why anyone complains about watching a film meant for 50-foot screens on a 50-inch screen. They would complain about a Hasselblad print out of sheer ignorance. 3.5 stars.

Hereafter (2010)

Evocative of Babel but less driven, Hereafter is a pensive poem of a movie with tragic overlapping story arcs for three characters: erstwhile San Francisco psychic George (Matt "I don't do this anymore" Damon), conflicted Paris TV journalist Marie (Cecile "I experienced death" De France), and sorrowing London twin Marcus (Frankie and George "Don't leave me alone" McLaren). As our story opens, a tsunami strikes the coastal village where Marie is vacationing; she drowns, has a transitory experience with the afterlife, and revives. The experience weighs on her heavily, leading her to recast her career and write a book that looks for answers. Meanwhile, George has been trying to hide his past career as a genuine psychic from sorrowing seekers who don't want to take no for an answer. At the end, the three protagonists' lives intersect in London at a book fair as George communicates to Marcus the personal words he needs to move on and Marcus helps George contact Marie, a unique and soulful-eyed love interest with whom he might finally be able to have a normal life. To those who kvetch that Hereafter is meandering or inconclusive, not every movie has to be The Bourne Supremacy; accept a movie for what it is instead of what you want it to be (or just make your own). Hereafter is somewhat existential, though tangentially so, and is undergirded with intelligent protagonists who cannot deny their curiosity or sense of community (though George thinks for a season that such denial is his only option). Hereafter does not leave us with a happy ending (though it suggests one) but what movie about genuinely coping with loss and death should? Hereafter is a thinking and feeling person's movie (with wonderful Dickens narrations by Derek Jacobi, who also has a cameo) that reminds us of our mortality and (hopefully) our obligation to make the most of all the life and love and time we have to share. 4.5 stars.

District 9 (2009)

District 9 has just joined the ranks of my favorite sci-fi movies, alongside The Fifth Element, Red Planet, and Brazil. District 9 has heart, irony, and a warning about holding onto the essence of our humanity. The story begins in a you-are-there documentary style as Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley), a cheerful if clueless bureaucrat, blathers on camera prior to beginning his newly assigned duties as head of the UN-style force that is to evict then relocate 1.8 million prawnlike space aliens that have been found stranded on Earth and left squatting in detention camps outside of Johannesburg for 20 years. Hints begin quickly that the relocation effort will not and (since the documentary has already been made) did not go well at all. Indeed, "prawns" live in abject poverty and as such they prove to be an apt metaphor for any human population that is abandoned to fester without hope in derelict slums filled with trash heaps -- think Avatar meets Paradise Now -- with the noted exception that prawns secretly know how to build technology more advanced than humans, if and when they can cadge together the proper raw materials. In any case, Merwe's incompetence and blithe stupidity both cause and compound a calamity that will hold momentous import for possibly the existence of the whole human race. What's interesting is that, the deeper he falls into the prawn labyrinth, the more humanity and strength we see shown forth in the formerly "weak" and ineffective Merwe -- esp. since he is rising to defend human values on behalf of the prawns and against humanity's duplicitous corporate state (led by a father-in-law who has it in for him). District 9 humanizes the prawns as they represent and possibly escalate the menace they tacitly pose to all of humanity -- even as the story demonstrates how cooperation, detente, and peaceful accord ultimately come down to two persons on two sides who initiate a dialog, make a quid pro quo compromise, and thereby build a path to peace (or, failing that, escalation). We should see, because a sequel seems certain. 5 stars.

Clockstoppers (2002)

I acquired Clockstoppers through Peerflix (now defunct) some time ago -- good thing too since it has been in limbo as a Save title here for an extended time -- and finally convinced my youngest son to watch it with me (instead of some nth rerun of Spongebob). Directed by Jonathan Frakes, Clockstoppers is a fairly good go at the high-tech-spy movie vibe since seen in three Spy Kid films as well as two Cats and Dogs movies and even G-Force. You could even throw in Adam Sandler's Click. Clockstoppers is not as good as any of those movies but it is good enough to stand on its own and appeal to kids as well as parents. In fact, Clockstoppers has more than a fairly compelling story, acceptable acting, and respectable (if slightly overdone) special effects; it has clean language and passable family values. I liked it and it seems reasonable that you will too. 3.5 stars.

Sugar and Spice (2001)

Sugar and Spice may not be (as someone said) as polished as Election but I love its campy spin on a Hughesian blend of cheerleader chic and bank robber pique. It is almost as if The Breakfast Club and Legally Blonde had a menage-a-trois love child with Raising Arizona. Sugar and Spice is clearly a labor of love because of its many flippant and whimsical bits, from Kansas' (Mena Suvari) assumption about her prison-inmate mother and the dykey bank-heist convict to each wide shot of Jack and Diane's crackerbox house that shows a little dog yappily racing down the sidewalk. If you pay attention to every word and every implication of the script -- not to mention the nonverbal language -- Sugar and Spice is a true treat and a real hoot. The cheerleaders would be almost too hot for high school but through her eyes, Diane (Marley Shelton) evinces a Kidmanesque psychotic intensity -- think The Stepford Wives -- and the other Debby dolls are just as interesting for their earnest vapidity. The script and soundtrack are simply classic. I had to rent this title from a competing service since it has been on Save status here for a long time but I would gladly watch it again anytime and even own it. 5 stars.

Desk Set (1957)

A movie as old as some of us who work in computing, Desk Set feels much like a stage play because almost the entire production is set in the corporate research department, managed by Katharine Hepburn's character, or in her adjoining office. The movie's midsection occurs in her apartment home and attempts to provide some jealousy between the two male lead characters: Hepburn's longtime and commitment-averse boyfriend (played by Gig Young), who is on the vice-president track, and an emotionally detached computerization consultant (played by Spencer Tracy), with whom Hepburn finds civility to be a challenge because apparently he has been tasked to work behind the scenes to eliminate her department. The Spencer-Hepburn chemistry gradually manifests itself, however, esp. as the latter realizes the wisdom of the former's maxim "Never assume." Desk Set is a smart show about smart people (and normal people too). As a pre-Electronic Age showcase of social conversation and repartee, Desk Set doesn't quite make the glib grade of The Thin Man or The Rope, largely because Hepburn hams it up in some scenes and sours the salt with a tinge of schmaltz. As a nominally serious set piece for the nascent age of computerization, Desk Set ultimately fails by giving us all the pre-70s cliches -- meaninglessly blinking banks of lights and beep-boop sounds when the technology is working followed by garishly flashing lights, crashing sounds, and smoke when it is asked to perform an intern's workload -- before finally and unforgivably spelling out the finale: THE END. After my first viewing, I gave this movie 2.5 stars; following my second viewing two years later, I grudgingly award it 3.5 stars.

Starz Studios: Fast Five / Prom / Hoodwinked, Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011)

This 12.25-min Starz featurette presents these movies in the following order: Fast Five (3 min), Priest (1.5 min), Bad Teacher (2 min), Prom (2 min), Hoodwinked Too!: Hood vs. Evil (1.5 min), and Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family (2 min). While I was generally interested in seeing every one of the movies, these previews increased or decreased my interest in the following order (from Wow to Eh): Priest, Bad Teacher, Fast Five, Prom, Hoodwinked Too!, Big Happy Family. 3 stars.

Starz Studios: The Conspirator / Madea's Big Happy Family / Water for Elephants (2011)

This 12.25-min Starz featurette presents these films in the following order: The Conspirator (with Robert Redford interview, 3.5 min), Water for Elephants (2 min), African Cats (2 min), Incendies (1.5 min), sprite refreshing films dot com (short film competition, 1.5 min), and The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (1.5 min). Not one mention of Madea's Big Happy Family! I was interested in seeing every one of these movies and marginally more so after seeing the previews but esp. after seeing African Cats. 3.5 stars.