VeggieTales: Lyle the Kindly Viking (2001)

Yes, I am an adult and I watched VeggieTales: Lyle the Kindly Viking all by myself, OK? My son can see it tonight -- but VeggieTales! Vikings! What's not to love? (It helps that I'm from Minnesota, but still.) No one does hammy humor or softpedal schmaltz (with scooped and jammed vocals) quite like VeggieTales. That being so, on this disc Archibald Asparagus tries to class up the production values a bit by hosting a Masterpiece Theatre-like presentation of Hamlet (called Omelet). Larry's Silly Songs becomes Classy Songs (but as with Hamlet, the new label is for window dressing only). Then in the title presentation, Lyle breaks the Viking code by (1) not taking stuff from others and (2) giving his share back -- with the lesson that making friends is better than having stuff. The animation and storyline are very good and the message is mild (expressed in four sentences, including one Bible verse). In a word: Share. This is my favorite of all the VeggieTales titles I have yet seen. I had to rent it through Blockbuster since it has not been in stock on Netflix for a couple of years. 4.5 stars.

VeggieTales: Minnesota Cuke (2005)

Don't ask me why this light-touch evangelical spoof of Indiana Jones is named Minnesota Cuke but it's a trademark Veggie-cute treatise on facing one's fear of bullies. Larry the Cucumber is the namesake explorer Minnesota Cuke, who seeks the mystical hairbrush of Samson both to benefit a museum in Moose Lake (a real place in Minnesota) and to defeat Professor Rattan, a competitor who has bullied him since the second grade. Moral of the story: Like Samson, our power comes from God, not talismans or personal traits. The traditional Silly Song is the entertaining Teen Angel-like Pizza Angel, which you may have heard in a Silly Songs compendium. It's one of their better tunes. A playground-bully sketch precedes these goodies (plus the usual bonus features) that is mild and understated but apparently too scary for the tenderest of tots (ages 2-4). Watch this disc and you'll be singing Pizza Angel for a week! I picked it up at my public library since it has been out of stock at this service for two years. 4 stars.

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Werner Herzog's Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) is a devoted recreation of and tribute to F.W. Murnau's Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922), itself a seminal rendition of the legend of Dracula and perhaps the creepiest silent film (and some say the best Dracula film) ever made. The psychodynamic Klaus Kinski plays the eerily malevolent yet melancholy Count Dracula, whom menace precedes and pestilence follows. Understand that Nosferatu is no Die Hard, Lord of the Rings, or Incredible Hulk. Even so, this black-and-white film should grip you from its lingering opening scenes of naked human mummies and hold you, by its somnolent etherealness, through the journeys of realtor Jonathan Harker (Bruno Ganz) from his home in Wismar, Germany (actually Delft, The Netherlands) to and from Dracula's home in Transylvania, Romania (actually filmed in Czechoslovakia). There the hovering, seemingly conflicted Count attacks him after a bread-cutting mishap, ultimately sealing his doom among the living. The Count also desires Jonathan's wife Lucy Harker (Isabelle Adjani) as well as, apparently, all of western Europe in due time. Her town swiftly fallen under the sway of the Count, Lucy knows what she must do; she gives herself to it (slurp, slurp) and succeeds. It is not enough to arrest the Count's successor, however, so we have a sequel setup more than a tidy ending. (I had to rent this disc from a competing service since it has not been stocked by this service for two years. I also rented the twin version that was filmed in German, and I agree it feels more authentic because Kinski and other actors were speaking in their native tongue.) On the fun side, this movie may be the progenitor of the horror-movie don't-do-that list. (For example, 1) Never let yourself fall asleep within reach of a creepy, pallid, panting guy who has just sucked your blood. 2) When a boat full of rats and dead crewmen floats into your port, do not remove all the dead bodies and let all the rats run loose through your town.) It's interesting to note the Count's fangs, which are no Barnabas Collins-sized twincisor overbite but resemble one of those postage-stamp-sized plastic triangular paper clips or a too-tiny, two-tined bottle opener. Oh well, his stomach is clearly bigger than his eyeteeth. For technical factors, 4.5 stars, but for emotional impact, 4 stars.

Kung Fu Panda (2008)

To his adolescent fan minions, Jack Black is an idol; to me, he's a pudgy, juvenile sinkhole where humor goes to die. However, the awesome animated movie Kung Fu Panda belongs heart and soul to Jack Black; as Po, the schlubby panda Dragon Master trainee, Jack Black rocks! (You've never heard a guy wheeze so fervently and in so many ways -- nor seen his animated twin do so.) In the end, Po's infectious disingenuousness wins the day despite more disciplined compatriots and a far more powerful enemy. (He finds another way to be true to his gifts and to slack his way to victory.) The voice talent by Dustin Hoffman as his severely tried kung fu master is particularly excellent but everyone else is good too. The animation is highly impressive in reflecting Chinese culture, martial art skills, and cinematic choreography. Kung Fu Panda is full of heart and has several creative plot twists. I laughed heartily a number of times and the many kids in the theater clearly enjoyed themselves too. As the closing credits rolled, my 10-year-old insisted that we buy the disc. Be sure to stay to the last moment for a closing epilog scene. 5 stars.

Santa Baby (2006)

It's never encouraging when the previews on the DVD you are about to enjoy start with Delta Farce, Bratz, Chasing Christmas, and Mr. St. Nick. Nor do you expect A-list acting when a movie stars Jenny McCarthy and George Wendt. Santa Baby was a pleasant surprise for me, however, and I wouldn't mind watching it every Christmas season -- for the story and the elves! George Wendt is almost unrecognizable, save for his voice, as Santa Claus. To his credit, he never stereotypically bellows ho-ho-ho; instead, he's a traditional Claus with a tired ticker and the father of a modern daughter. Meanwhile, said daughter (Jenny McCarthy) has made her fortune in the big city as Mary Class, a superstar marketing consultant who prefers to work through the holidays (and narcissistically knock over sidewalk Santas) rather than acknowledge what we discover (and she rediscovers) is her heritage and her home. Scenes of her working alone through the night on a big retail campaign are whimsically humorous but the best moments for cutesy physical humor are every second the elves are mise-en-scene -- what a bunch of perky putzy innocents (with a bakery substance addiction)! Mary decides to save Christmas and work through her father issues but things get potentially worse before they get better. Gotta love those elves (with their crayon-stenciled "productivity reports") as well as Mary's hot-nerd gal Friday (Kandyse McClure is Anastasia in the new Battlestar Galactica)! Santa Baby is a Christmas classic wannabe with a grown-girl twist. Nearly 4 stars, this treacly tale earns a solid 3.5 stars.

Short Circuit (1986)

Short Circuit was one of my favorite films during the 1980s. Sure, the acting is low-key but sufficient: Steve Guttenberg is programmer nerd with a modicum of social skills ("It doesn't think, it just runs programs!") Newton Crosby, Ally Sheedy positively glows (esp. when steamed or "changing color") as coffee-truck owner Stephanie, Fisher Stevens is a hoot as the English-eviscerating techie of East Indian extraction ("Let us break wind!") Ben Jabituya, and Tim Blaney is awesome as the voice and spirit of Johnny 5. I even love Austin Pendleton as the put-upon CEO buffoon Howard and G.W. Bailey as the gung-ho militaristic head of security Skroeder. Johnny 5 carries this movie as the infectiously excited, newly sentient robot who chooses to rewire his killbot programming and prevent any person or animal from ever being "disassembled, dead" again. I love his joyous thesaurus-speak and zest for life! Admittedly, Short Circuit has many cartoonish bits (after a stampede through the commodes, the killbots cry "Nobody light a match!" and later are reprogrammed for Three Stooges slapstick), but I'm a sucker for physical comedy. Short Circuit 2 barely got 3 stars but I give Short Circuit a gleeful 4.5 stars.

Starman (1984)

Jeff Bridges was good in the groundbreaking special-effects movie Tron (though it had a two-dimensional plot, literally) but he really splayed his legs and displayed his physical acting chops in Starman, where he plays a crashlanded incorporeal alien that recreates a human body to reach its rendezvous extraction point at Flagstaff, Arizona. The alien, reincarnate as Karen Allen's mournfully deceased husband, takes more than baby steps in its new adult body; Bridges looks, with every shambling and doddering step, to be struggling to find his balance and center of gravity. The special effects are minimalist and just believable enough to carry the story -- as is the script -- nor does the acting get in the way. Karen Allen exudes emotion as she encounters and ultimately collaborates with her late husband's taciturn doppelganger -- and their parting is tender, loving, and hopeful. Starman is a movingly romantic tale, but it's unfair to brand it as a chick flick (which I define as a movie starring only chicks talking about chick stuff, such as Beaches or Terms of Endearment). Starman's setting is science fiction but its guts are the pains and joys of human intimacy and marital love -- a phenomenon that I believe generally requires a man and a woman to create and maintain. Starman may be nearly a quarter-century old but its script and acting help it easily hold its own hands-down as a classic. 4 stars.