The Muppets Wizard of Oz (2005)

Given the supremely high marks that people generally give The Wizard of Oz and anything to do with the Muppets, this movie sucked big-time (sort of like that fakey cyclone effect Dorothy had going on there). Ashanti (whose opening scenes mimic a music video) can sing like a songbird, but she can't act to save her soul. She has three facial expressions: amused, tentative, and blank (her favorite). The musical numbers are entirely forgettable. Fozzie sounds like Miss Piggy half the time. The sets and lighting are uninspired (save the art nouveau traceries of Oz, however, they bathe everything in neon green). Gonzo as the Tin Thing shows a spark of inventiveness and spirit, and Miss Piggy and her biker gang are a sight to see. However, the adult references were all off-color and highly inappropriate for a Muppets movie. (A low-cut, big-boobed woman waggles her hokey-pokey for Gonzo and turns into a chicken in the clunkiest chunk of computer animation I have ever seen.) This movie really was pathetic. Queen Latifah cannot act either yet she and Miss Piggy were the brightest stars in this shilled piece of schlock. Two stars.

Fawlty Towers (1975)

TV. This series showcases some of the best writing ever on British or American television. Fawlty Towers displays both hilarious arrogance and bumbling gall as only John Cleese can portray them -- with a fine supporting cast! You'll want to see each episode more than once to memorize the pithy lines. Thirty years old but hardly dated at all! Four stars.

Beyond the Da Vinci Code (2005)

Documentary. I've caught this impressively produced program on the History Channel. It easily outdistances all others for its production values, research, visuals, and memorability. In short: *No* evidence supports Dan Brown's conspiracy theory, much less the legends on which he posits it. Four stars.

Millions (2005)

Millions is a delightful modern morality play led by the pure-hearted, naive Damian (Alex Etel, age "5") who sees and speaks with saints in his everyday life and his cogent, practical brother Anthony (Lewis Owen McGibbon, presumably age "9") who is both protective and problematic. After discovering a suitcase full of money that "fell from heaven" onto the boys' cardboard-shanty playhouse near the train tracks, Damian wants to give it to "the poor" while his brother wants to spend it to their advantage. Damian needs Anthony to help preserve the secrecy and to keep him from being taken advantage of, but each boy's every decision carries consequences that must inevitably compound, involving their parents, a trusted adult, a sinister figure who is seeking the stash, and potentially the law (here largely absent or inept). The story is beautifully and artistically filmed, the acting is spot-on excellent, and the exposition is creative and often whimsical. The scenes of Damian speaking with his beloved Catholic saints are precious, as are those of the school's Nativity play, and Damian's relationship with his mother may move you and moisten your eyes. This is a wonderful morality tale and a family film (so long as yours is not a *moralistic* family that wants to keep its children from the mention that mothers have nipples and breastfeed their babies). Five stars.

Tony Hawk: Boom Boom Sabotage (2006)

A weird animated feature that varies in quality between sub-Doogal and quasi-rotoscopic. Half the characters are skateboarding kids with bad haircuts (one with a mullet), half are grotesquely drawn circus sideshow freaks (one dressed as a pullet). Tony Hawk looks almost lifelike and motion-capture technology effectively conveys the skateboarding antics of all, esp. during a kids' mid-feature round that practically looks videotaped. The voice talent is fairly good and a few laughs are evident. Don't miss the lowrider-cruising hiphop clowns and winged monkeys. Three stars.

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

Old-time vaudeville humor and song is again revived on the silver screen as the Muppets do their schtick, I mean, stuff! I made sure to see the first three Muppets movies as they came out in the theatres (pre-videocassette). This one is not as good as The Muppet Movie or even The Muppets Take Manhattan but it takes an honored place in the pantheon for its music and musical numbers. The most memorable and charming scenes are the bicycle tour through the park and Miss Piggy's modeling fantasy (complete with synchronized swimmers and Charles Grodin dubbed in to sing like Mario Lanza). The extras include only a Pepe interview with Miss Piggy as "the diva who would not be denied." Four stars.

The Fountain (2006)

Awe-inspiring, spiritual, artistically and emotionally layered, and visually stunning! The previews only hint at the sublime (and subliminal) beauty of the scenes, the visual poetry of the overlays that link and interrelate scenes throughout this film, the sonorous texture of the soundtrack music, and the complex tapestry of the story as it unfolds and unravels across three eras -- from a terrestrial beginning to a cosmic rebirth. The visual effects are captivating and essential to the story so they are more than eye candy, they develop (and reveal) the plot. (They esp. convey and interrelate textures better than anything you've yet seen.) Hugh Jackman acts his heart out as a Spanish conquistador loyal to his queen, a modern-day cancer researcher with a stricken wife, and a Moby-like spacefarer to the stars. In each segment (intricately and integrally interwoven), Jackman's persona (and esp. his love interest) is running out of time. Rachel Weisz is a vision of beauty across the ages and conveys her persona's motivations adequately. This film is Contact, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Mission, and almost every epic movie rolled into one. It will blow you away. "We are all made of stars!" Five stars.

Skeleton Man (2004)

I caught this on the Sci-Fi Channel (usually a bad enough sign) and, while I could spend greater effort describing exactly how bad it is, I figure: Why bother, given how little creative effort the producers put into making the movie itself? So (trust me) this description will suffice: stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Two stars.

With God on Our Side: George W. Bush and the Rise of the Religious Right in America (2004)

Documentary. This is a full-fledged (sympathetic yet probing) history of the Religious Right's rise to dominance, culminating in the presidency of George W. Bush. Interviewed are a veritable Who's Who of leading evangelical figures in the politics of the past 45 years. Even having lived through this era myself, I gained fresh insights and perspectives I didn't have. Four stars.

The Motorcycle Diaries (2004)

This is a strikingly picturesque portrayal of the geographical and human landscapes of South America that resonates with the simple human values of justice and compassion. It is the romantic story of a road trip actually taken by Ernesto "Che" Guevara and his friend Alberto Granado, nearly circumnavigating South America, when they were 23-24 and 29-30. It is "based" on "the writings" of Che Guevara and the memories of Alberto, who consulted with the production and appears in the (overly sympathetic) epilog. It implies nothing of their later Communist or revolutionary lives beyond portraying them as adventurous, passionate young men who came to reply on pluck and courage even as the sensitive and poetic (and asthmatic) Guevara begins to perceive the mounting injustices of the ill and impoverished who are evicted and interned wherever the landed and the rich put them. This is a picturebook paean to the vistas and the people of South America even as it paints a hagiographic picture of young Che as a cosseted waif who finds morality and manhood in a Father Damien-like altruism and empathy for the people. It's less historical and moving than Ghandi but oh so panoramic. Five stars.

The Muppet Movie (1979)

A whoop-de-doo of funnyboneheadedness! I loved this movie greatly for its fast-paced (Airport! style) comic delivery when I saw it in the theatres. You need to see it more than once to catch all the jokes, lyrics, and sight gags. Many of the jokes are simple and sweet for the moppet crowd (viz. a literal fork in the road) and the cameos are simple and sweet as well (except for the perfectly snooty then snotty waiter played by Steve Martin). Mel Brooks's comeuppance doesn't work for me but anyone should love the cameos by Bob Hope, Edgar Bergen, Milton Berle, and many more. They don't make movies like this anymore! Anyone should be amazed to see Kermit playing banjo and riding a bike, plus Miss Piggy's antics, and I still guffaw at Kermit's romantic scenes with Miss Piggy (the poor sap). The song Rainbow Connection is a sentimental classic that everyone should see in situ (as sung and played by Kermit himself). The characters carry out a perfect blend of situational humor and schmaltz with plucky aplomb. You gotta love the hecklers (Statler and Waldorf), the manic wackos (Animal, Gonzo, and the bomb guy), and the adult humor in the songs. (I'm impressed with how they fit "A skunk was badgered, the results were strong" into a kid's movie.) If you don't find something to love in this movie, well, that's just un-American! Five stars.

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)

If you think British humor is hard to read, try reading the characters' lips in this 72-year-old movie. It features deadpan baddie Peter Lorre and climaxes in a shootout with hostages against the police. The plot is marginally suspenseful and the acting has its moments -- such as Edna Best in the music hall, torn between two courses of action. An early Hitchcock classic but the lighting and sound are fairly muddy. Three stars.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

This movie slowly grows on you until its complete effect wins you over by the end. At first it's retro-Cousteau (cheesy film titles and lumpy documentary scripting and acting) and self-satirical (in a foppish, Italian Explorer Society kind of way), then increasingly quirky (with whimsically colorful CGI piscines), but always with the brushed-leather feel of the humanity that Bill Murray and his ensemble cast all contribute together. (Willem Dafoe and esp. Kate Blanchett stand out best.) You should love the Dave Bowie songs performed a la portugues above all, as they tie the film together in an aural texture as did Jonathan Richman in There's Something About Mary. This film adds several wonderful touches reminiscent of The Big Fish and Buckaroo Banzai. 4.5 stars.

J.R.R. Tolkien: Master of the Rings (2001)

Documentary. This is an unusual but generally effective treatment of Tolkien and the Lord of the Rings. It's effective in that it presents a cogent plot summary for the newcomer. It's unusual because it presents a lightly detailed computer-drawn topographic map of Middle-Earth in addition to blurry, colored (solarized) "re-creation" scenes of Tolkien's works where the hobbits seem to be "little people" dressed in Puritan caps and Strider resembles one of the Dutch masters. The production displays a large selection of Tolkien-inspired fantasy art (leaning heavily on the works of the Brothers Hildebrandt and somewhat on the work of Roger Dean) as well as snippets of filmed interviews with Tolkien's children, Tolkien's publisher, and Tolkien himself. (Some share footage with Inside Tolkien: The Hobbit.) It's a fair shake of an effort from a virtually unknown cast of Tolkien experts. Three stars.

Melinda and Melinda (2004)

This movie is Closer if it was done by Woody Allen, just not funny because he was phoning in the script. The ensemble cast is competent enough for their roles and the dialogue is right chatty patter, but it sometimes feels stilted, rarely makes an emotional connection, and ultimately fails to reach a satisfying conclusion. Will Farrell for once gives up playing the oafish boob and half-decently plays a boobish oaf. Radha Mitchell does a nice job playing the two parallel-tale Melindas -- the neurotically self-destructive "tragic Melinda" and the mending, hopeful "comedy Melinda." (Comedy is far too strong a word for this script on Prozac, however. Let me put it this way: Steve Carell has a small part and it's straight -- not even he is funny! Only one line in the entire production elicited a chuckle from me or my viewing partner, and only two other lines nearly made me think about approximating a chuckle -- but then I gave up and moved on. I think one of the lines, when Farrell is dancing with a scoop-chested Republican who resembles the woman in "the big O" Overstock.com commercials -- I won't say whether it is a dream sequence because that would be a spoiler -- went like this: "I'd hate to see us kept apart by a tax cut.") In the end, I got lost between all the characters and counterpointing story lines because I just didn't care about them that much -- even after skimming through the film a second time the morning after. It's a tasty enough cinematic meal, just not particularly satisfying -- or memorable (esp. when you consider what Woody Allen is capable of doing). Three stars.

Inside Tolkien's The Hobbit (2003)

Documentary. I'm a very well-read Tolkien scholar but it is priceless to see on video the grown children of Tolkien, publisher of Tolkien, and Tolkien himself speaking about the roots of his literary works esp. in the literal context of his stomping grounds at Oxford and Sarehole. An interview with the Brothers Hildebrand, celebrated early illustrators of Tolkien's Middle-Earth, accompanies this hour-long production of biographical information that is wholly spot-on accurate. Three stars.