In the Line of Fire (1993)

U.S. Marshals meets Death of A President (almost). Perhaps the most extensive and authentic-looking depiction of the President's Secret Service protective detail yet. Clint Eastwood is Clint Eastwood; what more can I say? Better yet, John Malkovich is John Malkovich -- wow. Just his eyes show you how unhinged this psycho assassin is -- and then he starts talking, trying to get into Clint's head. ("Your death too, if you get too close to me.") Clint growls him down every time, fixated obsessively on his sworn duty. ("You've got a date with my fist, you wacko!") Rene Russo is a good costar for Clint, professionally and interpersonally. (She couldn't be as hot as in The Thomas Crowne Affair.) I wish some scenes had not been so contrived (for example, Clint is surrounded by press photographers with his head swimming for 2 minutes) but Clint gives us many semi-iconic scenes and some soul-searching to boot. I own this movie and I approved this review. 4 stars.

Sundance Shorts 2007: On the Edge (2007)

Six shorts from US, Germany, and Denmark that range from a kinesthetic aqueous tomb to three blasted humans to two slaughtered pets. Take just two with weak tea or strong liquor: Holding Pattern in Infinite Delay (US, 9 min, ethereal sonic/aqueous environment spells doom, 4 stars), Light Work I (US, 8 min, insipid sepia-toned die-cut processes interweave with colorful organic microcellular glibs and globs to rhythmic industrial tones, 3.5 stars), Little Farm (US, 8 min, intersibling rivalry starts with F words before it gets hot and then dead, 1.5 stars), Motodrom (Germany, 8 min, low-rent NASCAR on motorbikes, 2.5 stars), Songbird (US, 6 min, housewife trapped by boorish husband and dog frees her mind, gore lowers score to 4 stars), Sophie (Denmark, 14 min, pregnant wife opens a can of worms on her husband in the strangest place, 4 stars). Overall 3 stars. Infinite Delay is cryptic if beautiful while Light Work is cryptic if industrial -- both can benefit from repeated viewings. Little Farm is so gross you'll not need to see it again. Motodrom is a one-timer too. Songbird has a good story arc, cartoonishly (and grotesquely) conveyed. Sophie is the most authentically emotional though the ending is unclear. Overall 3 stars.

Sundance Shorts 2007: Animation (2007)

Five animations from the US, UK, and Canada ranging in style from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow to Ratatouille to South Park: Ask the Insects (US, 8 min, graphically processed biometrics show poetry in motion to the accompaniment of poetry celebrating biodiversity, 4 stars), Der Ostwind [The Eastwind] (US, 10 min, Red Baron meets Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, 4.5 stars), In Passing (UK, 5 min, urban surroundings portrayed and discussed as a Terminator-like cyberorganic heads-up display, 5 stars), One Rat Short (US, 10 min, Ratatouille meets Star Wars with a superb story, animation, emotion, and music, 5 stars), and The Tragic Story of Nling or The Convenient Thinness of A Paper Life (Canada, 15 min, South Park in Hobotown with Squigglevision bluescreen -- actually frame-by-frame laser-printed black-and-white animation of a fallen human/donkey society taken to alcohol, 3 stars). Overall 4 stars.

The Rambler (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

To a Neil Young-type soundtrack, a guitar-toting drifter hitchhikes into a hellish situation. I never would have gotten into the car, and it only gets worse -- before it gets even worse. Omigod, do not watch this on a full stomach. Seriously, I am warning you, if you do watch this, be ready to get so sick you may puke. Low-budget, cryptic, riveting, but GROSS. 13 min. 3 stars.

A Relationship in Four Days (2007) (Sundance Shorts 2008: Comedy)

There's not a lick of humor here -- just a suggestion of smug banter as they propose a game called verbal polo -- and barely a moment when the male and female leads aren't smoking like chimneys. She's pretty and smart; he's lazy and full of himself; how quickly they fall for each other is a puzzle (other than a desire for someone to control). Failing to find humor, the only meaning I could divine in this film short is a possible interpretation of his statuette. 26 min. 4 stars.

The Funeral (2007) (Sundance Shorts 2008: Comedy)

A young woman plans and rehearses her funeral almost as thoroughly as if it were her wedding. Mordantly (not morbidly) funny. 9 min. 4.5 stars.

FCU: Fact Checkers Unit (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: Comedy)

CSI meets Just Shoot Me. Hilarious -- the two leads more than Bill Murray in fact! A little over the top but the associate editor looks so typical and the music is great. 9 min. 5 stars.

Farewell Packets of Ten (2007) (Sundance Shorts 2008: Comedy)

Because our two leading ladies are not going to win a modeling or singing competition any time soon yet they interact so amiably, this film short (3 min) could probably be turned into a good reverse-psychology antismoking propaganda spot. 4 stars.

By Modern Measure (2006) (Sundance Shorts 2008: Comedy)

Amelie meets a Napoleon Dynamite-directed nature documentary: "While genocide continued in country A, the young couple ate Ho-Ho's and vacuously discussed pop culture." Indicting! 15 min. 5 stars.

I Love Sarah Jane (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

This postapocalyptic zombie-pandemic vision of suburbia might put you off shucking a lobster, crabs, or oysters for a while. Jimbo's still in the mood for love though. F words. 15 min. 4.5 stars.

Sick Sex (2007) (Sundance Shorts 2008: Comedy)

She's sick, he wants sex. Funny in the wry sense of the all-too-transparent machinations a man will go through to try to get off but not ha-ha funny. A few anatomical and F words. Nothing happens but it might leave you a bit "steamed." 12 min. 3.5 stars.

The Apology Line (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

Lonely cityscapes and cathartic voyeurism accompanies authentically stoic, tearful, or plaintive calls to an anonymous apology line. Effective and occasionally moving. 10 min. 3.5 stars.

The Mark (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

Man, this is bad. It is truly the worst thing I have ever seen. Frenetically shot, badly acted, intentionally sloppy and unfocused scenes on scratchy film -- they had to be working very hard to reek this much. The only good thing is that it's over in 4 min. 1 star.

Nikamowin (Song) (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

This excellent if experimental Canadian short (11 min) is a tightly produced compilation of mind-bending, pulsing video imagery melded to a hip-hop-like vocal stream of sound-sampled speech in Cree. It conveys an energetic visual and aural texture that is undeniably art, though inscrutably less than self-evident. 4 stars.

Motion Studies: Inertia (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: Comedy)

A well enough done but very understated (and short) film short about a nerdy approach to a nerdy subject. At 2 min total, the short itself is barely as long as its intro credits, but it should give you a chuckle or a wheeze. 3 stars.

Ignite (2007) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

Hyperkinetic time-lapse videography of the California wildfires amplifies their vicious threat and deadliness but I found this short (3 min) to be too hurried, repetitive, and obnoxious to think of it easily as art. 2.5 stars.

Spider (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

Holy crap! This film short (9 min) made me jump twice in shock! The boyfriend was such a jerk too. What kind of guy lets his girl pump the gas, throws flowers and chocolate at a relationship problem to make it go away, and then buys a fake spider to get back at her anyway? You won't forget this short, it really packs a punch. 4.5 stars.

Untitled #1 (From the Series Earth People 2507) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge) (2008)

What the hell was that? Fufu Rufu the dog masquerades as a buffalo and, in the worst bluescreen work I have ever seen, is calqued on top of 1950s-grade (and I mean 16-mm-quality) videographic (it would insult lexicons everywhere to use the term cinematographic) imagery. At least it's only 4 min in length. 1.5 stars.

The Touch of the Master's Hand (1987)

Human lives are like the mastercrafted violin, long disregarded and nearly sold for a penny on the dollar beneath their true worth, once touched and restored "by the touch of the master's hand." The classic story by Myra Brooks Welch (published by the Foursquare Gospel Brethren) is set to video with a beautiful violin arrangement. 3.5 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2 (2006)

TV. The best animation always appeals to adults more than children and Avatar certainly does that. For overall quality, I'd say Avatar is the best animation on the tube, hands down. Avatar presents traditional Chinese philosophies with a bit of pop humor but always displays excellent artwork, writing, and voice talent. Characters have motives and (gradually revealed) histories as they try to live up to their destinies as airbending (or waterbending or earthbending or firebending) disciples, training to become masters. Virtues are portrayed as positive examples while evil motives and actions are portrayed as negative paragons. Aang, of course, acts like a kid but is gaining in confidence and discpline as he trains against a deadline to become the Avatar. Sakka is always good for a laugh. Katara is the glue that holds the trio together. Prince Zuko only gets more complex and multidimensional. Uncle Iroh is a fount of wisdom and rootedness. Azula would be a hottie if she weren't so evil. 5 stars.

La Femme Nikita: Season 5 (2001)

TV. For psychological and tactical drama in a world that has terrorists, La Femme Nikita is an order of magnitude smarter and tauter than 24 has ever been. No matter what anyone -- superior or peer -- said or did within Section or outside, as a covert operative you never knew if it would prove terminal to your career because of the densely layered psychological manipulation and political maneuvering. It was not even clear at times whether Nikita or Michael truly loved each other or were merely following orders. As Nikita learned to outgame her superior and then his superior, and then to uncover (and begin to share power with) who was really in charge of Section, things continued to get interesting. No one can ever replace Alberta Watson as Madeleine, however, or Eugene Robert Glaser as Operations, or Roy Dupuis as Michael. This is, I continue to think, the best television series I have ever seen. It made counterterrorism operations highly realistic -- unlike what we see in 24 or, for that matter, D.C. 5 stars.

Gift of the Magi (2004)

Everyone's acting in this low-budget production is wooden but Rosemary Deleonardis as the grandmother has a lovely voice and generally saves the day as she narrates the story. At 19 minutes, it's a small investment of time but you would be just as well served by reading this literate and romantic story aloud to your loved one. 3 stars.

Elf (2003)

I was concerned that Elf might be a bit dopey (passing gas jokes, etc.), given that it's Will Ferrell, but he really came through on the innocent Christmas elf angle and I was pleasantly surprised by the whimsical tone sustained by much of the movie. Bob Newman is wonderfully disarming as Will Ferrell's foster father and Zooey Deschanel is understated as his platonic love interest. Elf is Big meets Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town and maintains a childlike sense of wonder even in the big grownup world of New York City. (Even though Will was disgusting with his spaghetti-and-syrup trick, he gamely dives into it and stays completely in his character throughout the show. James Caan is his newfound curmudgeon of a birthfather who has a sudden change of heart just in time for the wrapup.) No, it's not a movie solely for adults, but if you are in touch with your inner child, you should find some laughs. Charming and a budding classic -- not greater than the Santa Clause movies but definitely better than Emmet Otter's Jug-band Christmas. 3.5 stars.

Prayers for Little Children (2005)

This is the best of Jennifer Naimo's Little Children series, establishing a warm and firm foundation in prayer and faith for little children. It's sort of a Blue's Clues for Catholic (and, I think, Episcopal) kiddos. (The prayers and songs are both traditional and contemporary; the Pope is merely mentioned twice; and one snippet discusses Our Lady of Lourdes.) This program is designed for the mindset of children aged 8 and under, feels personal and intimate, and is very well done. (I personally find it very moving and wish I had a program like this for my own children as well as my own parents.) Thank you, Jennifer and friends! 5 stars.

Fantastic Four (2005)

Don't believe the naysayers (who cancel themselves out anyway). This is a sufficiently well-produced movie to make for a fun viewing. It's better than Hulk and Ghost Rider, with the feel of Spider-Man 3 and Lost in Space. (While many of the best scenes were in the trailers, the trailers accurately convey the spirit and drama of the movie.) Now I didn't grow up collecting and reading every Fantastic Four comic book in existence -- I had a life. And while it's valid to complain that Ben Grimm's lips are wrong or his head isn't square enough -- who cares? Some reviewers kibbitz that there's insufficient exposition of how our superheroes came to be while some say there's too much. (Is this possibly because it involves science, which requires thinking?) Some say Reed Richards is a romantic idiot with Susan Storm so he couldn't be a genius. (Geeks generally get an F in dating. The movie makes it clear he's "the dumbest genius around" and has issues with self-esteem so all he does is work.) Johnny Storm as the full-of-himself ladies' man is the one to watch -- he brings a sense of adventure to whatever life brings and he brings the team together in the end, all on the premise of "this is who we are" instead of rejecting their superpowers, which would have meant defeat for the whole world. Victor von Doom (say it with a straight face) is the most resource-rich villain yet -- he has more toys than Bruce Wayne! Jessica Alba is alluring in her suit, yada yada, but I don't see why she has to go invisible and remove her clothes in public (with flashes back and forth, ha ha, to titillate her preadolescent fans) when the men have to walk through the crowd anyway. Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm conveys emotion and pathos better than Sandman in Spider-Man 3. Ioan Gruffudd does fine as the self-retiring genius (but please don't make him reach for toilet paper as a sight gag again). I honestly didn't think Jessica Alba could act but she passed off a verisimilitude, you know? Chris Evans as Johnny Storm is the most developed character in the movie -- even if he is shallow, he's true to himself, and ultimately to the team. 4 stars.

Arthur: Prunella Sees the Light (2002)

TV. Three Arthur episodes on the theme of loss imaginatively teach children about pulling together to find a solution: Prunella Sees the Light (Prunella's sleepover nearly turns sour as she worries how she might offend her blind friend Marina), The Return of the Snowball (D.W.'s snowball reappears in the freezer and she drives the family crazy trying to sleuth out how it got there), and April 9th (the school is closed and two adults narrowly escape a fire in the teacher's lounge). In the segment Now A Word from Ty, a boy with leg prosthetics demonstrates how he can play baseball. This disc has more chuckles than usual. The Snowball episode shows D.W. at the top of her game and starts with a takeoff on the Star Wars rolling script that deteriorates into a verbal tussle. The Prunella episode centers on two girls' love of the Harry Skreever books (with Lord Moldywort, Haggis, and the Wheel of Edam in titles such as H.S. and the Brick of Wonders, H.S. and the Pottage of Villainy, and H.S. and the Menacing Moussaka). April 9th is a two-part episode and the contents of this disc were the final episodes of the 2002 season. Neither Netflix or Blockbuster or IMDB currently lists this DVD though I was able to acquire it through the local library system. 4.5 stars.

Ladyhawke (1985)

I have greatly enjoyed this movie ever since I first saw it in the theater; I own a copy today. I think it was my introduction to Matthew Broderick (assuming I saw War Games in a college arthouse rerun) because I was impressed with his character as Phillipe "the Mouse" Gaston, an escaped thief who talks simply and directly to God about his troubles. Phillipe is saved from recapture by the stern but gallant Navarre (Rutger Hauer), ex-Captain of the Guard, loyal to the king but likewise pursued by soldiers of the villainous Bishop of Aquila (John Wood). The power-mad cleric has cast a spell on Navarre and his beloved Isabeau d'Anjou (Michelle Pfeiffer) so that they can never simultaneously be together in human form -- if the bishop can't have her, no one can (goes the logic) -- so Navarre is a wolf by night, Isabeau is a hawk by day. The scenery of vast swards and sweeping skies is memorable even as the story of cursed lovers who cannot touch is moving. (Pfeiffer was also considered the It girl of the day.) Father Imperius the Monk (Leo McKern) is a growling friar who assists the trio to confront the bishop in his medieval church lair. Some fault the production for its synthesizer-based soundtrack, which does seem wimpy and dated, though quaintly so. (Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells soundtrack for The Killing Fields is much more visceral and timeless by comparison.) Ladyhawke shows a lot of influence on films like The Princess Bride and A Knight's Tale. It remains a classic in its genre and should be seen (and shared) by anyone with a romantic bone in his or her body. 4 stars.

Arthur's Missing Pal (2006)

TV. Arthur and his friends appear in their first feature-length movie (68 min) in a detective story as they try to locate Arthur's missing dog Pal. The characters and voices are in the spirit of the original 2D animated series from PBS, however, the animation is now 3D -- the characters are almost roly-poly as in The Backyardigans, Miss Spider, or Rolie Polie Olie. (Netflix does not list or stock it and, while Blockbuster does, I acquired a copy from my local library.) The story, as Arthur episodes go, gets a B, and therefore 3.5 stars.

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (2004)

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (2004) is basically A Night at the Museum (2006) and National Treasure (2004) meet Indiana Jones 1 (1981) and 3 (1989). The Librarian is a tongue-in-cheek, clever, camp-ridden romp with made-for-TV action, special effects, and editing. No amped-up action and theme song as in Mission Impossible 1, 2, and 3, though I'd more readily watch The Librarian a third time. I first caught it on TNT -- a must-see since the title promised (not "a" but) "the" Librarian and a quest. For what...? The spear that pierced Christ's side, has been hidden for two millennia, and gives power over life and death to its wielder (which should *not* be the bad guy, who by the way will stop at nothing to get it). Noah Wyle does a fine job as the scrappy, cute, brainy geek who gets hired as the current caretaker of the world's most important library. Bob Newhart does his usual schtick with grand aplomb as Librarian Emeritus and Noah's guiding mentor. (Don't miss Bob's whoopass fight scenes at the end.) Jane Curtin is also a stitch as Bob's starchy second-in-command. The star of the show, however, is Sonya Walger as Noah's Lara Croft-style bodyguard. She's hot (in a made-for-TV sort of way)! (Don't miss her girl-on-girl kickboxing action with Kelly Hu.) Adults who have lost touch with their inner child will gripe about the production values of this movie and it's true: The plot, editing, and special effects are so slapdash sometimes that this is arguably more of a family film than action-adventure or fantasy. On the plus side, it doesn't take itself too seriously so you don't have to either. It is full of little surprises esp. droll tongue-in-cheek touches and dialog. (Sonya: "I am far out of your league. In fact, if your league were to explode, I wouldn't hear it for three days.") Noah continues to hope for a way to win her heart, kidding about jungle sleeping arrangements and being put off, since Sonya is after all a professional (who was nominated for a Saturn award for this role). Near the end they find a rapprochement and, while nothing is shown but a disheveled bedroom, that may be too much for some families and little innocents. On the other hand, Olympia Dukakis is Noah's doting mother who is pleased that a woman has finally answered her son's phone. I leave you now with three words: Droll. Tongue-in-cheek. Funny! 4.5 stars.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Napoleon Dynamite is American Women (The Closer You Get) meets Lost in Translation -- in high school -- in Idaho. I saw it 25 months ago with a friend who is a huge Napoleon fan, when my reaction was "This is really dumb. There's no 'there' there." Some time later, I saw an homage to the movie's clever approach to the opening credits and I found myself fondly remembering bits of what I thought had been a thoroughly forgettable show and even waxing nostalgic over it. So last night I watched this endearing little gem again. Jon Heder in his debut role perfectly pegs the character of Napoleon Dynamite, a gawky dweeb of furrowed facial expressions, galling narcissism, appalling lack of social skills, and a trademark swoop-and-scurry of shame. Efren Ramirez is his new classmate Pedro, a stereotypical Mexican whose vacant expressions outpan Napoleon's. They silently form a fortuitous alliance. Aaron Ruell is Napoleon's worthless brother Kip and Jon Gries is their has-been uncle Rico (still dreaming of the wealth and fame that would have been his if the coach had put him in for the final play of the high school championship). Their social setting is as spare and dreary as you would imagine for any rural town in Idaho. (Every girl on the cheerleading squad appears to be genuinely, let's say, homespun, though Tina Majorino as Deb and Haylie Duff as Summer evince an inner potential each in their way.) Shondrella Avery plays Lafawnduh, Kip's Internet "soulmate." (Be sure to keep watching after the closing credits.) There isn't much of a plot or acting (unless feigning catatonia is an Oscar category) but what people love about this movie is how well the cast members (esp. Napoleon and Pedro) embody the everyman who is a nobody. Yes, we may all have known a dweeb like Napoleon while serving our time in secondary education. The fans' affection is born of more than just the humor of recognition, however. This movie conveys a sympathy for these characters, who soldier on and succeed despite every indication that their lives will never amount to anything. That's what viewers respond to and love. So don't be a sip-and-snip wine snob of a viewer, expecting to critique this movie based on the same rationale that applies to every art film you've seen and judged previously. Like Napoleon, take a big swig of the orange juice with a raw egg stirred in it, shudder and force it down. You'll find that it stirs up a visceral side that you may have forgotten. 4 stars.

Arthur: Nerves of Steal (2005)

TV. Three Arthur episodes on the theme of control (having it or lacking it) teach kids lessons against shoplifting, being a grade hog, and fashion envy: Nerves of Steal (Buster and Arthur are the only kids without a Cybertoy robot before they learn that crime doesn't pay), Sue Ellen and the Brainasaurous (the Brain so obsesses over his grades that his assignment partner can't slip in her own contribution -- until the end), and Prunella's Prediction (new-agey Prunella envisions a fashion-coup birthday gift but learns to do without). See Buster as a Cops-like fugitive (only in his fears) and Arthur wearing his dad's old lime-green Michelinian Mr. Puffy jacket (plus a Fantastic Three picture of Mr. Puffy, Land Fish, and Legal Eagle). A Word From Us Kids presents schoolkids' animated inventions, such as the camera that dispenses 24 photos and 25 candy bars. Blockbuster stocks this disc but Netflix doesn't list it; even so, I got it through the library system. 4 stars.

Arthur's First Crush (2005)

TV. Three Arthur episodes centered on the theme of curiosity teach children the value of imagination: Arthur's First Crush (8-year-old Arthur has a crush on the new 16-year-old babysitter because she can crush the cow mummy queen on level 12 of the Dark Bunny IV: Curse of the Moomy video game), 1001 Dads (Arthur and his friends try to match up Buster with a surrogate dad for the Father's Day picnic, unaware that Buster is happy with his father, who though absent has made even cooler plans), and What Is That Thing? (a sewing bobbin helps Arthur and his friends calm a cat, rescue a doll, fly a remote-control plane, babysit D.W., and more). A classroom draws family pictures in Now A Word From Us Kids. Not quite as imaginative a compilation as most discs and introduced by Buster's garish attempt at singing a country song -- in chaps, no less. Blockbuster stocks this disc but Netflix doesn't list it; even so, I got it through the library system. 3.5 stars.

Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale (2005)

I watched 11 minutes and didn't find a lick of it worth even a chuckle. Later I decided to watch the other 60 minutes but only twice did I almost crack a smile. Gaffigan's jokes -- diffuse more than subversive -- never touch home and playing his own hecklers gives him too much credit. First he mutters quietly as if that's funny; claims he's Korean as if that's funny; says he dated a panda as if that's funny; claims to have a stomach implant as if that's funny; and so on. Lots of talk about food as if it's pornographic -- except Hot Pockets as if they're scatological. Gaffigan is mildly painful to watch. The righteous heckler theme almost began to make sense by the end because in the last four minutes, he compares Catholic church services to waiting in line at the DMV, prefers to sin at Mass, makes irreverent cracks about Christ and Mary, has Joseph swearing, compares heaven to a gated community, and (with his last words) implies that Moses smoked pot. Blech! This is not (as some claim) a family-friendly show. Gaffigan frequently talks about porn, sex, and more. 2 stars.

Leonard Part 6 (1987)

I know Leonard Part 6 ("The first five parts have been classified for reasons of national security") is famously panned but I laughed my head off when I saw it (sober) on video 20 years ago. Yes, it's dumb -- but dumb done smart (not dumb-squared). Under-the-shoulder rocket launchers. "Grape me!" Meat patties that sear. "The Latin. Do the Latin"! I won't try to defend it; if you hate it, you hate it. But if you want really bad special effects, acting, and vegan villains, Leonard's your man -- with his butler. 3.5 stars.

Arthur Gets Spooked (2003)

TV. Three Arthur episodes on the theme of scary things teach kids the value of finding the courage to go against the flow: The Scare Your Pants Off Club (Arthur and his schoolmates love the SYPO book series so much they fight a parental book ban that turns out to be misinformed), Friday the 13th (the Brain tries to debunk superstition and briefly reconsiders whether bad luck is real), and The Boy Who Cried Comet (beginning with a Rod Serling homage called The Buster Zone, space-alien-crazy Buster discovers a real comet). Now A Word From Us Kids takes a field trip to the Ladd Observatory. These episodes contain the situational inventiveness that's common to Arthur programs but the comet episode adds a couple extra twists, including a shaggy alien ending. 4 stars.

Arthur's Tasty Treats (2003)

TV. Three Arthur episodes on the theme of making dessert help teach children the value of creative collaboration: Buster's Sweet Success (Buster, the world's worst salesman, needs a way to sell his chocolate bars before he eats them or the band may play like paupers for the next year), Dad's Dessert Dilemma (Arthur leans on his father's catering business to supply the school with cake and sweets), and How the Cookie Crumbles (will rich-girl Muffy choose cookie-baking success over the friends whose recipe she's using?). Now A Word From Us Kids shows blind students in the kitchen learning how to bake cookies. You can never tire of the Ziggy Marley theme song, "Hey, what a wonderful kind of day, you can learn to work and play, and get along with each other." 4 stars.

The Red Balloon / White Mane (1953)

As (I think) the first movie I ever saw at age 6 (that I have not seen again till now), The Red Balloon is a nostalgic treat and a timeless tale of childlike joy and hope. The huge red balloon is a true symbol of a child's deepest and purest joy, and how this balloon becomes magically devoted to the little boy is whimsical and endearing. The ending is sad before it is (ahem) uplifting but this is a movie every child should see in a respectful setting (maybe at the library but not as an apertif to Spongebob please). Because our pint-sized Parisian protagonist is no Joel Haley Osment, 4 stars. White Mane is the story of a wild, spirited white stallion in the dry/marshy flatlands of France and the boy who tames him. It's slow (so be patient) but progresses through its paces, though to an indeterminate ending (sad by implication but hopeful in fairytale words). Because a vicious (uncut, real) horse fight occupies five minutes, 3 stars. Children younger than 6 may be bothered by the tragic elements and fail to grasp the symbolism in both films but these two cinematic milestones should not be missed. Overall: 3.5 stars.

America's Most Haunted Inns (2004)

Documentary. The Jeff Corwin Experience comes to ghost-haunting excursions. A blonde medium ambles through New England inns of haunted repute, affectionately addressing "spirits" by name and calling them beautiful. While she seems sincere, she offers no context for her bemused conversations, so she comes off as either cryptically authentic or slightly crackers. I gave the film makers the benefit of the doubt for sincerity and integrity, but the lack of explanation for any of their "evidence" indicates they are only playing to willing converts who want to believe in ghosts without authentic reason to do so. (They claim to present proof but neglect or fail to do so.) What video camera and still camera are these that capture dozens of "spirit" globules floating in mid-air, and where can I get one of each? Doesn't the photographer's constant camera flashing scare the spirits or wash out the dust motes? (Um, exactly how was PhotoShop put to use anyway?) And boy, some of those "spirits" look like cigarette smoke -- and while we assume he doesn't smoke while on the prowl inside the historical inns (though some guests with ghost stories were), we witness him smoking while approaching a "spirit" in the alleged most gripping scene at the end. Skepticism works in two ways: The producers have to present their "documentary" in as objective a manner as possible and work to explain away every appearance of subjectivity. (Integrity cannot be assumed, it must be demonstrated.) Similarly, the inn owners as subjects have to participate objectively; only one former owner did. (Would have been good: "We have reports of a lot of activity in these two rooms, which happen to be directly over the tunnel." Bad: "We have reports of a lot of activity in this area, because it's near the tunnel." Would have been good: "A guest reported a sighting in this room on this date, which happens to be the anniversary or location frequented by [historical character]." Bad: "[Historical character] visits us quite often. [Chuckle] He seems to feel right at home with us." In other words, coincidence is good, though not proof; assumption of proof as well as causality is bad.) I'm not saying the photos captured spirits or dust motes, though the latter certainly sounds more plausible. And that is the third way that skepticism works: Occam's razor says that all things being equal, the simpler answer tends to be the correct one. This movie wasn't laughable but it sure wasn't believable -- except to those the producers chose to interview. 3 stars.

Arthur's Great Summer (2002)

TV. Three Arthur episodes that are slightly less inspired than usual address "what I did on summer vacation": Arthur Goes to Camp (Arthur and the gang learn the value of teamwork and strategy during a scavenger hunt), The Shore Thing (Arthur and friends debate the appeal of the new Aqualand vs. the defunct Marineworld but experience the thrills of "Ocean Zone"), and The Short Quick Summer (Arthur fears he wasted his summer before realizing all of the adventures he had by reading books). During the Now A Word fom Us Kids segment, schoolchildren draw pictures of their summer suitcases' contents ("...a portable TV...") and write letters about teamwork to Arthur. This disc bares moments of the usual creativity but isn't slathered with them. 3.5 stars.

A Sing-a-Long for Little Children (2005)

TV. A fairly peppy and fun collection of songs for Catholic children that teach prayers to Jesus and intercessions to Mary and present celebrations of Christ's sacrificial love for his Church. It even has some cute outtakes (see the glove-chomping donkey)! The music is mainly '90s vintage electric piano with kids chorale but with some updates. Jeniffer Naimo has a sweet and fluid voice and Bernie Choiniere adriotly leads two songs. Tunes include Our Father, Oh My Sweet Angel, Hail Mary (calypso beat), Joy to the World (Black gospel beat), We Are the Church (rocky with a rappy end), Faith Hope and Love (showtuney), Rise and Shine, Divine Mercy, That's A Sacrifice, Jesus Christ Is Ris'n Today, and Memorare (Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary). There's song and dance, children's art, inclusiveness of the disabled, and more. See if you can spot Bob the Sheep. 27 minutes. 3.5 stars.

Arthur: Parents Are from Pluto (2004)

TV. Three episodes centered on parental angst lead Arthur and the other children to appreciate their parents for who they are: Kids Are From Earth, Parents Are From Pluto (Arthur and his classmates experience embarrassment over the impressions their parents will make at their school's annual Parents' Open House), My Dad, The Garbage Man (Francine is embarrassed to have her classmates take a field trip to learn about her father's work as a sanitary engineer -- but his enthusiasm teaches them it's cool to be green), and Mom and Dad Have a Great Big Fight (Arthur and D.W. stress out over the potential scenarios of family breakup after their parents argue over spilled milk). The third episode is more creative (and cathartic) than usual, and you never grow tired of Ziggy Marley's theme song! 4 stars.

Arthur's School of Hard Knocks (2004)

TV. Three Arthur episodes with a theme of rational thought and discipline show how Arthur and his friends (and kid sister D.W.) can grow up (and smarter) by making the right decisions: Arthur vs. the Very Mean Crossing Guard (Arthur and Brain think D.W. can be gullible but learn they're not immune either), Buster Makes the Grade (Buster is allergic to studying but finally steps up to the plate when he risks repeating third grade), and D.W. All Fired Up (D.W. shies away from school during fire safety week but learns to take charge of her fears). As my ten-year-old son said, Arthur always has a positive message to teach children -- not (he added) like Billy, Mandy, and the Grim Reaper! 4 stars.