Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970)

Desk Set and Colossus: The Forbin Project were the initial two films on my first movie list about computer technology on celluloid. Like Network and Forbidden Planet, Colossus is an intelligent and insightful movie that proved seminal to many others depicting the future. Released in 1970 (though the film itself shows the date in Roman numerals as 1969), the computer technology is of course dated but the human story is dead-on as a fable for all future times. The script ably negotiates the daunting challenges of a massively sophisticated computer that decides the most logical thing is for it to take total control of all human society -- even lulling the military-political-industrial complex and setting traps before exacting its megaton "lessons" on humanity. Eric Braeden is a TV actor who does quite well in the Sean Connery-like lead role of Dr. Forbin and Susan Clark (Airport) is his teammate and "mistress." (Since this is still the demure 1960s, you can just make out her breasts through the glass vase before she slips into the bedroom to hide under the covers and engage in pillow talk like none you've ever heard. Austin Powers hasn't done anything but steal from every other movie before it.) Gordon Pinsent is the Kennedyesque U.S. President, with chief advisor William Schallert (whose venerable career spans from 1947-2007 and counting). Interestingly, Colossus was the real-life name of a top-secret British computer that wasn't revealed until 1974. Colossus: The Forbin Project is not about CGI and special effects -- since neither is real life -- but about the moral dilemmas that human actions create and that require human action (or rebellion) to rectify. Taken in its historical and cultural context, Colossus chillingly and memorably identifies and addresses those questions in dramatic fashion -- and leaves them open for further discussion, refusing to neatly package the story as if it were an intellectual snack or pop-cultural junk food. Seen with eyes from the era that predated personal and handheld computers, Colossus remains timeless. 5 stars.

Behind Enemy Lines (2001)

Behind Enemy Lines is Enemy of the State meets The Peacemaker and Enemy at the Gates. The carrier-based military action is punked, funked, and jammin' (as several reviewers who are ex-military have confirmed). Owen Wilson brings a seat-of-the-pants macho 'tude to the game as a Navy fighter-jet navigator. You needn't be prescient to guess that he gets shot down behind enemy lines: The artwork shows a plummeting jet plane, the description says he gets shot down, and the title is after all Behind Enemy Lines. He has to evade being captured or killed and hump across miles of mountainous terrain, all the while in hot pursuit by a tank division of Serb militia and one particularly tenacious (if greasy) sniper. Yes, Wilson evades fire twice while the entire hillside around his backside is being pockmarked with shells and, yes, the final scene where he runs back into harm's way to fulfill the mission is pure Hollywood; take it as entertainment rather than a documentary and chew your popcorn. This movie captures my attention and my imagination every time I see it because of the military action -- including the diplomacy that runs counter to the rescue attempts -- but also the hang-tough, hang-true camaraderie that a band of Navy and Marine soldiers share under the command of the always human Gene Hackman. I dare you to sit still during the fighter jet's evasive maneuvers! 4.5 stars.

Lost: Season 1 (2004)

TV. My oldest son (not to mention everyone he knows) is hooked on Lost; he clued me in after receiving the first season on DVD for Christmas. You will be hooked from the incredibly gripping first five minutes all through the compounding complexities and mysteries that pervade the entire first season. There are a few annoying loose threads, like the swaying trees -- what is this, The Lost World? -- that are left dangling in the breeze but plenty of secrets and epiphanies (like Locke's) that will blow you away. Come experience what is truly a historic TV drama series. Oh, yeah, disc 7 is commentary only so skip it unless you're into the stuff about the show too. 5 stars.

The Thing (1982)

The Thing (1982) is Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) meets An American Werewolf in London (1981). Yes, The Thing captures Cold War paranoia but its hamhanded gore is inferior to the chilling viscerality of Alien (1979). Alien showed us that the special effects of The Thing and An American Werewolf were old-school -- they succeed well enough in their context, though dated. Truth to tell, I've always been put off by the guttering gristle of The Thing; the harrowing is not just horrific but horribly deficient compared to the Gigeresque alien and its face-hugging brood. The Thing will remain a classic but the Alien saga will far outlive it. 4 stars.

Bait (2000)

Bait is a low-rent Enemy of the State. At first Jamie Foxx was annoying with too much fast-talking shuck-and-jive and jibber-jabber but he toned it down as he proved himself to be a responsible going-straight guy and hero. (Seeing any man choose to settle down and be responsible for his infant son makes him a real hero and Jamie goes even further before the end.) The villain is a John Malkovich wannabe but he's omniscient and chilling enough to do the job. Bait held my interest to the end, even on cable till 430 am. 3 stars.

Mind Hunters (2004)

Mind Hunters is Basic meets House on Haunted Hill with a bit of Jason X. FBI profiler trainees are stranded overnight on an island (I know, no cell phones) and must determine who is the killer among them. I caught this on cable last night and it kept my interest with the he-said, she-said whodunnit debates and inventively gruesome deaths, naturally one by one. (Members were either offed in the presence of the team or found strung up with elaborate booby traps that led to members being offed in the presence of the team.) You won't know who it is till the last four minutes. My only complaints are the heightened jangliness of the audio every time another threat presents itself and the short screen times for Val Kilmer and Christian Slater. 3.5 stars.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Tomorrow Never Dies is a very good Bond movie, updated with a media mogul as global warmonger, a remote-control car, great chase scenes, a supremely sexy Bond woman in the alluring Teri Hatcher, and a kickass Chinese agent in Michelle Yeoh (who plays her counter-Bond role with panache before she joins the Bond-did-me club in the closing scenes). Bond is about exotic locations, GQ meets MI-6, the spectacle of the chase, sexiness, and campy one-liners -- and this installment has them in spades and clubs. I really like Pierce Brosnan's Bond: urbane, aloof, resourceful, unstoppable, and deadly. I especially like a devious villain and Jonathan Pryce is certainly full of himself. Every Bond movie is made to be big, to outdo itself, to be a greater spectacle than anything before. This chapter in the Bond saga never makes me regret another viewing. 4.5 stars.

Goldeneye (1995)

Goldeneye is a very good Bond movie, harking back to Conneryesque themes and updated for primo high-tech spy gear, chase scenes, and sexy women. The criticisms never fail to confound me, however. If Goldeneye is not believable, does it then follow that Goldfinger (or any other Bond movie) was believable? Just enjoy each Bond movie for what it is. Bond is about exotic locations, GQ meets MI-6, the spectacle of the chase, sexiness, and campy one-liners. You get what you pay for. I really like Pierce Brosnan's Bond: urbane, aloof, unstoppable, and preeminently deadly. I especially like a cold devious villain and Sean Bean as MI-6 turncoat Alex Trevelyan can always excel at that. My God, let's not forget Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp (the sexpot always has a sex-pun name)! She's not only deadly but lovin' it. I think I speak for most men in saying that if we have to go, we'd pick Famke over lethal injection every time. Every Bond movie is made to be big, to outdo itself, to be a greater spectacle than ever before. Goldeneye's chase and fight scenes are always worth another viewing. 4.5 stars.

The World Is Not Enough (1999)

I don't understand others' criticisms of The World Is Not Enough. Since when have Bond movies ever lacked for over-the-top high-tech spy gear, chase scenes, and sexy women (intelligence and acting skills not required)? So what if Denise Richards can't act? Sorry to break it to you, but in this franchise, a Bond girl is there for her alluring body and its pliable vulnerability to Bond's charms -- unless I am imagining that Bond historically beds every woman who comes within two meters of his person. Enjoy each Bond movie for what it is. Bond is about exotic locations, GQ meets MI-6, the spectacle of the chase, sexiness, and campy one-liners. Why complain about what you expect to see? I like Pierce Brosnan's Bond a great deal: urbane, aloof, unkillable, and preeminently deadly. I especially like a cold devious Bond villain and Robert Carlyle as Renard, the man who can feel no pain, made an impressive Bond baddie. Sophie Marceau played heiress Elektra King and a complex villainess. Kudos to Dame Judi Dench as M, Desmond Llewelyn as Q, and John Cleese as R. Every Bond movie is made to be big, a spectacle of spectacles. The World Is Not Enough makes me happy to see it any chance that comes up. 4.5 stars.

Dragonfly (2002)

Dragonfly kept me on the edge of my seat in the theatre and blew me away at the end. It still does so every time I watch it -- the ending viscerally moves my world. I don't understand the cynics who blow off this movie as nothing special (or worse). Maybe you need to have truly loved someone, or to have children, or to have lost someone dearly beloved to you, or to fear such a potential loss, or to have a shred of humanity in your heart. No, the movie is not perfect; one awkward moment for me is the young resuscitant's bugged-out eyes. Yet Joe (Kevin Costner) is quite believable as a highly competent medical doctor who, as head of the ER, has an overwhelming weight of responsibility on his shoulders and no time to address his grief and loss. He doesn't know how to talk about his feelings, only to blurt them out physically as he wrestles with his supernatural puzzle -- and it is driving him crazy. He is a sympathetic character who carries us with him through the mysteries he encounters -- and he will not be denied the ultimate answer. Dragonfly is a movie about the love between two soulmates who have dedicated their lives to serving others -- and, in so doing, receiving the love and appreciation of others -- yet who are separated by that great chasm called death. But is there a bridge, and has Joe's Emily (Susannah Thompson) found it? Most importantly, Dragonfly is a movie about faith. As Joe says at the end, "Faith is what gets us there." 5 stars.

Prancer Returns (2001)

Prancer Returns is about a child's faith, ultimately affirmed, in Santa. This made-for-TV (USA Network) movie is a tender and tidy Christmas truffle. Starring Doc the reindeer as Prancer, accompanied by his ever-cute and faithful young friend (Gavin Fink), it's a family film through and through because it's set in a small town (Three Oaks, Michigan), portrays a wounded family's healing, and relies on none of the flatulence humor of The Santa Clause. Stacy Edwards is the lovely single mom and John Corbett is her budding love interest. Jack Palance endearingly plays a curmudgeon with a golden heart. Alecia Elliott warmly sings the theme song "If You Believe." If you want to live vicariously through a traditional small-town Christmas that doesn't include Wilford Brimley, see Prancer Returns. It's sedate but authentic and doesn't disappoint. 3.5 stars.

Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth (2004)

TV. Dave Chappelle's voice and perspective is uniquely infectious but he is an acquired taste. He's today's leading purveyor of "motherf-----" and "bitch" (or "bee-yotch!"). This program is pretty crass and crude (dope, gays, sex) but if you have no problem with that, you should laugh it up. I had a smirk on my face most of the time, with frequent chuckles. (I think his comic sketches are much funnier than his standup.) My favorite parts were the simple distinctions between grape juice and grape drink ("Sugar. Water. And purple.") and his socially relevant comparison between two newsworthy 15-year-olds, one white and one black. Dave knows how to address racial issues head-on but with always with incipient humor. You know he's going to be funny, even when he is being relevant. Keep it real, Dave! 3 stars.

Please Stand Back! (zurrueckbleiben bitte) (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

Technically fascinating but artistically unsatisfying. You know the pixellation they use on the bad boys in Cops? Apply that to an urban scene, throw out all but a teasingly small selection of pixels (say, 10%), then dynamically magnify, clarify, and diminish them in a 3D-perspective mosaic. I've never seen this technique used before and it's a challenge to make out any prismatically depicted portion of a scene, however, the treatment is ultimately unfulfilling since scenes portray sidewalk and cobblestone with the occasional street sign or plot of stanchions. I'd award 5 stars for concept but 2 stars for execution. 8 min. 3.5 stars.

Number One (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

A beautifully rich, continually undulating and metamorphosing, visual and aural display with aquacentric images of naked bodies, stones, and fire too. There is much to see and study here through multiple viewings to those so inclined. Less-enlightened types will occupy themselves trying to discern nipples and other body parts but to me this montage tells the story of the emotional life of a relationship. 10 min. 4.5 stars.

Oiran Lyrics (2008) (Sundance Shorts 2008: On the Edge)

I can respect this short for its Japanese cultural differences (which may grate on many Americans) but its infectious peppiness belies the serious subject matter -- it's hard to be a prostitute with a pimp -- plus the acting is very bad and the music (voice and instruments) is consistently flat. Speaking of culture clash, imagine a soundtrack that blends the Paul Schaefer Orchestra with the Naked Brothers Band and David Bowie's A Space Oddity then plays them at cacophonous, breakneck speed and out of key. This soundtrack would be worse. 8 min. 2 stars.

Die Another Day (2002)

Others' criticisms aside, I loved the thrilling tank chase, invisible car, etc. Since when have Bond's toys ever been realistic? Q is about pushing the technological edge and invisibility is a real-world nascent technology. Nor will I kibbitz over which Bond movie is best or worst; everyone has their own preferences, so why pigeonhole? Enjoy it for what it is. Bond is about exotic locations, GQ meets MI-6, the spectacle of the chase, sexiness, and campy one-liners. So whatsa problem with all the haters? Madonna's theme song was excellent and set the tone for an uncharacteristically dark yet contemporary opening where Bond is in prison undergoing torture. (He is nearly mortal after all.) I like Pierce Brosnan's Bond a great deal: urbane, aloof, and preeminently deadly. I especially like a cold devious Bond villain but Zao was the least impressive of all the Brosnan Bond baddies; his hissy fit really cut into his image. Halle Berry looked great but was the chilliest Bond girl ever; modern and sexy but aloof (sort of an anti-Bond). Every Bond movie is made to be big, a spectacle of spectacles. Die Another Day hits on all cylinders though weakly on the villain piston. 4.5 stars.

A Bit of Fry and Laurie: Season 1 (1989)

TV. These guys are hilarious! A blend of Monty Python and Kids in the Hall, Steven Fry and Hugh Laurie are literate, glib, droll, and diversely talented. (Hugh is a master pianist.) I didn't see the same hair style twice among dozens of sketches and they dress up as women too. One of my favorite recurring sketches is the incredibly polite department of national security. Their British humor is arch or possibly arcane to some; I was delighted to follow every word, however, it did get a bit taxing after watching nearly the whole disc in two stints. I didn't get some cultural references to UK personalities (from the 80s) nor could I appreciate the cryptic on-the-street bits (for example, in its entirety: "I'm not going to suck it") in between the sketches. 4.5 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1 (2005)

TV. Avatar is an exceptionally well-done animation with some anime-like elements but a layered, character-based story that both intrigues and delights. Every character has a back story that develops in complexity and range, sometimes turning our conceptions on their ears. You can esp. empathize with the wise teacher known as Uncle and in time even sympathize with the dark figure of the Fire Nation's Prince Zuko. The battle scenes are based on Chinese martial arts forms such as Tai Chi and are always part of the tactics of the larger battle or story line, which expands with each episode. I think it's significant that, of the 144 reviews preceding mine on Netflix, about a half-dozen did not like it (1 or 2 stars), a half-dozen liked it (3 stars), nine really liked it (4 stars), but more than ten dozen loved it -- and often the reviewers were adults who said they were captivated after watching Avatar with their children, and told their relatives about the show, who got hooked too. Don't miss this animation treat! 5 stars.

Howard the Duck (1986)

As my Netflix friend Denis said, Howard the Duck is a love-it-or-hate-it movie. I finally saw it. I was intrigued by the premise of a duck-with-attitude from another planet come to Earth to do something-or-other and (reportedly) get it on with Lea Thompson. Well. This. Movie. Stinks. Granted, it came from the 80s, so I can forgive a certain amount of tastelessness. However, it only weakly fulfills its premise and the production values and special effects approach garage-level if not garbage-level quality. George Lucas had his name on the screen and all I could think of as this -- thing -- rolled on and on was "This is 10 years after Star Wars debuted and this is the best they can do?" I realize the people that enjoy this film take all the trashy special effects in stride and have a hoot of a time but all I could do was wince. You will see the longest chase scene you could ever care to see on an ultralight flyer, careening under power lines and over bridges while spraying sparks and electric arcs. Jeffrey Johnson (weasely hatchet man in The Devil's Advocate) and Tim Robbins (in his worst role that I have seen and nearly the worst role ever) play scientists who have invented a space-cannon-like device they call a "spectrograph" which, of course, malfunctions, giving us every bit of this sordid plot. The ever-plucky (heh) Howard falls in with Lea Thompson, who leads an all-girl punk rock band. (Never have you seen so much teased-out hair in one place.) They nearly kiss once. The movie has a few rough words and the humor was nonexistent. (The funniest line is Howard's "If God had meant us to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings." Eh.) I will say I never realized Lea had such long slim gams. (They show them a lot.) I really wanted to like this movie but I just couldn't, though I give them credit for trying (for the first 20 minutes or so). Sad to say, I think the only market for this movie is the 8-18 crowd, so long as they have no sense of taste and just love a good romp -- through schlock and "Aww...!" The ending song is cute but it is only two lines, one which is "Howard the Duck." 2.5 stars.

Eloise at the Plaza (2003)

Eloise at the Plaza is an astonishing delight. Hewing true to the book (with even a cameo and fresh art by the illustrator Hilary Knight), Eloise (Sofia Vassilieva) is simply adorable, incredibly energetic, and she pairs four couples for a finale at the debutante ball! Eloise is the highly precocious and forthright six-year-old girl who is the star of the beloved books by the likewise precocious and forthright Kay S. Thompson that have inspired two generations of women such as Linda Ellerbee. Sofia is a facile study in the cultured and outspoken whirlwind that is Eloise; every scene is spot-on-the-money. (She's better than that piker Macauley Culkin was in Home Alone.) Eloise befriends a young boy and takes him on a horse-and-carriage tour of New York City even as she "tries, tries, tries" to introduce and arrange three couples' dates at the debutante ball -- in addition to colluding to get three invitations. Naturally, her actions bring her into contact with the highest strata of society -- because she learned forthrightness from her globe-traveling mother -- and she unites two families and two couples in joy. Her pranks are hilarious, esp. the reception received by newly hired events coordinator Prunella Stickler (Christine Baranski). Jeffrey Tambor as Mr. Salomone is as perspicacious as ever esp. in his attempts to keep secrets from Eloise (which is impossible). Like her Christmas film, this Eloise movie is a paean to New York City with a script and humor that are excellent. You may find the subplot with the young boy to have a moving conclusion; I did. Some say Eloise's pranks are a bad example for children but kids know it's only a movie and, besides, any child who would imitate a prank after seeing it in a movie as lighthearted as this one has bigger concerns about the effectiveness of his parenting than learning bad behavior from a little blonde girl with a heart of gold. 5 stars.

Christmas Child (2003)

Christmas Child is a made-for-TV-style movie that tells its story a bit stiffly but heartwarmingly just the same. William R. Moses (who looks a bit like Anthony Michael Hall of the TV series The Dead Zone) is a Chicago magazine journalist who decides to pursue his adoptive roots after finding a photo of a church in Clearwater, Texas, in his father's effects. He meets the church's young pastor (Steven Curtis Chapman), who looks so much like him that I kept wondering what was up with that. (Nothing.) Through alternately cryptic or helpful encounters with various townsfolk, the story develops organically and with plenty of puzzling pieces that eventually get tied together in a surprise ending. The last five minutes ride on a wave of sentimentality that seems sudden and simplistic (given the inability of most characters to emote) but this is essentially a feel-good Christmas tale about finding one's roots as well as joy amidst loss. I enjoyed it and felt as if I'd gotten to know the townsfolk better than in most movies. The soundtrack is Christmas-y and well done from beginning to end. The Christmas message is mentioned with subtlety so any cultural Christian ought to enjoy the show, but churchgoing families esp. may enjoy watching Christmas Child every holiday season. Blockbuster stocks this disc but Netflix does not. 3.5 stars.

Star Wars: Clone Wars: Vol. 2 (2004)

It's an impressive series not to be missed by anyone remotely piqued by the Star Wars mythos, however, it borders on camp when Mace Windu goes against 1,000 killbots with his bare hands. (If the Jedi could fight this fantastically, what happened to doddering Old Ben Kenobi in Star Wars: A New Hope?) Hot 'n' heavy battle scenes and dueling lightsabers, antiseptic deaths by the boatload, you know -- cartoon carnage. The voice talent is quite similar (only Anthony Daniels as C3P0 is original) and the sound effects all originate from Ben Burtt and ILM. Hoo-rah! 4 stars.

Star Wars: Clone Wars: Vol. 1 (2004)

A faithful rendition of the Star Wars saga in animation, Clone Wars depicts events between Episodes II and III, that is, of Anakin in his 20s as he becomes "more powerful with the Force" (but also a mite more snippy). The cartoon-length mini-episodes present a near-constant barrage of intense lasergun and lightsaber battles with fantastic anime-like action such as Jedi knights leaping up, down, or laterally for up to a half-mile without harm. (Just suspend the laws of physics and think of it as Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith.) Beyond the battles and special effects, the best part is the back story and some semblance of emotion from characters such as Obi-Wan and Anakin. (We all know how George Lucas likes to gloss over scriptwriting and character development to get on to the next cool creature or laser blaster.) I first caught this series on Cartoon Network and was duly impressed. I rented it from Netflix as soon as possible and turned my youngest son onto it. Next we had to have our own copy of the set and of course he's a huge fan. (Now can someone please tell me how to turn off a ten-year-old's Star Wars jibber-jabber? I am now learning far more about the back story and minor characters than any responsible adult has a right to know.) The Clone Wars weaponry and tactics are always surprising and inventive but the series leans too heavily on the fact that, in animation, your characters can do anything, or I'd award more than 4 stars.

Me, Eloise (2006)

Eloise is as cute and cloying (in a good way) as ever in this episode where she makes a new friend in Yuko, a Japanese violin prodigy. The two get in trouble but everything works out in the end. Sweet and endearing throughout, the show reprises the beloved characters of Nanny (Lynn Redgrave), Mr. Salamone (Tim Curry), and of course Eloise (Mary Matilyn Mouser). 4.5 stars.

Gilbert Gottfried: Dirty Jokes (2005)

Gilbert Gottfried delivers a solid stable of standard dirty jokes (I'd heard maybe a third) in his inimitable style with minor humorous embellishments. He also impersonates Alan King, Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld, and more. Six jokes were more than edgy about bodily fluids so that the audience either groaned or hesitated to do more than chuckle nervously. He spent the last ten minutes telling the highly scatological joke ("world's dirtiest joke" is accurate) found in The Aristocrats. He kept a rictus of humor on my face till the last six minutes but ya gotta love the guy's delivery and sense of playful mischief no matter what; he doesn't slow down -- even in the credits: "Wardrobe from the back of Gilbert's closet. He liked the red shirt but ultimately decided to go with the black." 3.5 stars.