Innerspace (1987)

I enjoyed Innerspace immensely when it came out in the late 1980s. (Ah, the Eighties... Good times...) Martin Short plays Jack Putter, an overlooked nebbish -- his boss actually calls him a putz -- who becomes the unwitting host/partner to Dennis Quaid's Lt. Tuck Pendleton, a macho test pilot who has been miniaturized with his ship for what will be a Fantastic Voyage-style test run before he is accidentally injected into Jack's (um, if memory serves) left buttock. The ice queen saboteur (Fiona Lewis in her last role as Dr. Margaret Canker) and her cyborg agent (bit-part actor Vernon Wells as Mr. Igoe) make for cryptic and comic villains that still give me whoops of laughter. (He comes with detachable finger accessories that will slice, dice, spray, or frappe and she seems to have a thing for or with him!) The most hilarious scene is the tandem dance to "Twistin' the Night Away" before Jack and Tuck hold a strategy powwow. Jack also pines for Tuck's girl (Meg Ryan as Lydia Maxwell) and, in the muddle, gets to go places no man has been before. Innerspace is a hoot of a camp comedy that I can highly recommend esp. if you like men with Han Solo haircuts and girls with glam-rock hairstyles. See it if you liked Fantastic Voyage and loved Short Circuit! Rated PG for language, drinking, implied adult situations and Tuck's buck-naked caboose. Rated PG for language, drinking, implied adult situations and Tuck's buck-naked caboose. 4.5 stars.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

My personal threshhold of laughability *for a sci-fi movie not the novel* starts below Starship Troopers. Well, The Matrix Revolutions is much closer to The Matrix than Starship Troopers. Truthfully, I'd like to see a breakdown of people who hated The Matrix Revolutions to see if science-fiction fanboys are few and video-game fanboys are many. Science fiction is the literature and cinema of ideas and convergences: What would happen if...? The willing suspension of disbelief perhaps comes easier to those trained in the skill, which might be like bending spoons. (Big hint from the first two movies: Possibly "there is no spoon" outside of your mind.) All that said, this third movie in The Matrix series remains gripping and well above average. I don't understand how people complain that Keanu Reeves is too wooden an actor to play even a cyberworld messiah then complain when he convincingly (for him and his role) portrays love and fear. What do they want, Benicio del Toro? It seems the haters want Revolutions to be all one thing or another -- just like the first movie, more like the second, more imaginary world, less real world, more action, less talk, fewer battles, bigger fights. (You can't get bigger fights than what we got, if you follow the laws of physics.) You can see how it gets confounding. Better to see Revolutions as it is -- the action-oriented resolution to an intellectual science-fiction trilogy. The philosophical questions are always pivotal to how Neo finds and fulfills his mission of bringing peace to Zion and freedom to willing minds in the Matrix. Consider carefully how the Oracle is concerned with looking forward and making free choices while the Merovingian is concerned with looking backward and rationalizing determinism -- even though he controls the train between the Matrix and the real world -- while the Architect is a construct of the machine world and is constrained with balancing equations. Neo and Trinity negate nihilism and deny determinism by choosing love. Free choice -- and belief more than knowledge -- is what gets us there (as the Oracle sums up at the end). The Matrix Revolutions is the darkest and grittiest of the three Matrix movies because it focuses not on the polished virtual world of the Matrix but on "the real world" inhabited by free humans on the verge of extermination, "the machine world" that's waging a war of attrition against humanity, and a devolving Matrix where Agent Smith has become quite the megalomaniac. Zion's mechagunners are cool but Neo rightly intuits that diplomacy is the path to peace; war has been considered the inevitable path to humanity's annihilation while the truth would be even more apocalyptic. (To add a moral to the Architect's monologue in Reloaded, those who fail to learn from the mistakes of history are condemned to repeat them. So if you can't see the Matrix through Neo's inner eyes, at least read Wikipedia for a clue before you choose to complain about Revolutions.) 4 stars.

The Edge (1997)

Anthony Hopkins plays the well-suited if understated role of a publishing magnate who is rich but humble (Charles). Alec Baldwin plays the well-suited role of a crass and self-serving photographer (Bob) who has been cuckolding Charles' younger wife. Bob needles Charles about owning a plane and being too old for a young wife but Charles responds graciously, even with intellectual detachment, offering up knowledge and reflections from a lifetime of reading books. After the plane crash-lands in Alaska, the two men find themselves stranded in the wilderness and being hunted by a humungous and ferocious grizzly bear. Charles is both strategist and tactician, coaxing the more macho Bob in how to be fearless and survive: "I'm going to kill the bear! Say it!" The scene where they finally face the bear down is iconic and famous for the naked adrenaline it can inspire (vicariously) in viewers. Bob's aggression springs forth later in other ways and we are left to wonder who has the upper hand on who. In the climax and conclusion, Charles reminds me of both a magnanimous Spencer Tracy and his own chief-executive role in Meet Joe Black. Why? "Because the rabbit is smarter than the panther." I own this one. It's full of great lines! 5 stars.

Meet Joe Black (1998)

I always enjoy watching this update of Death Takes A Holiday because Anthony Hopkins ably plays a successful if world-weary CEO who puts his family ahead of his corporation. When the spirit of Death comes to claim the soul of William Parrish, Bill responds with a proposition: If Death will give him a few more days to spend with his loved ones and arrange his affairs, he will personally introduce Death to "the ropes" -- the joys and pleasures -- of human life. Death accepts and takes a convenient body (Brad Pitt) and name (Joe Black). Death is supernaturally savvy about timeless things but being corporeal and carnal is new and heady stuff. Soon he's enjoying sumptuous meals and eyeing Hopkins' daughter (Claire Forlani). Hopkins must keep Joe's secret but he keeps no secrets from Joe, whom he introduces to his business partners as his trusted "associate," so naturally they wonder what the hell is going on with his estate planning. Meanwhile, Hopkins warns his daughter away from Joe ("He's no good for you"), but she persists in pursuing his hunkiness. FYI the romance is not conventional because neither is Joe Black. The previously stoic Death begins enjoying himself, believing he can act with impunity; Hopkins realizes he must tread very carefully to preserve his legacy. In the end, this otherworldly meeting of one mortal man with (not just his own but capital-M) mortality and Joe's creepy disingenuousness make Meet Joe Black work well for me. In addition, the script is quite literate and the cinematography is sumptuous as is the soundtrack. It is one of the great movies and will remain a timeless classic. I hope you like it just as much too (though if you can't reflect on your inner emotional landscape for 3 hours then please watch something else). I had to own this one. 5 stars.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai (1984)

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai was a flash in the pan during its theater run but has since developed a devoted cult following on videotape and DVD. This movie (BB to fans) is hard to summarize -- esp. since nearly every scene and line of dialog implies a deeper backstory -- and feels like a modern-day Flash Gordon serial. Peter Weller is the fabled Buckaroo Banzai, a Japanese-American Renaissance man: He's a world-renowned physicist, neurosurgeon, rock star, and presidential advisor. As our story begins, he has just driven his experimental jetcar through the time/space continuum -- and a mountain -- discovering something alien in the process. Then it's off to perform brain surgery with Jeff Goldblum ("No, no, don't tug on that -- you don't know what it's attached to"), who as New Jersey (in red-and-white Roy Rogers togs) is also auditioning for a spot in his band, BB and the Hong Kong Cavaliers. Then it's off in the band bus to perform a rock gig at Artie's -- enforcing the peace and discovering someone who seems familiar (Ellen Barkin as Penny Priddy). Finally, the alien invasion plot comes to light -- you'll love it! John Lithgow is over-the-top as Prof. Emilio Lizardo, aka Lord Whorfin ("Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy!"), as is his pompous chief minion, Christopher Lloyd as John Bigbooty ("Big-boo-TAY!"). The musicians in the band (Reno, Rawhide, and Perfect Tommy) are also scientists in Buckaroo's compound, where he gathers terrestrial and alien intelligence and conferences with the President in the war room before going out to personally do battle in an airship. That's the broad outline without giving away anything substantive but let's not forget Billy Vera as Pinky Carruthers and Damon Hines as Scooter Lindley, Blue Blazer Irregulars who capture the Secretary of Defense in the hornet's nest at Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems (a name lifted from Thomas Pynchon's novel The Crying of Lot 49). Be sure not to miss the closing credits and extremely catchy theme tune! BB appeared 20 years after the Get Smart TV series and 12 years before Mars Attacks! but you will likely become a huge fan of BB if you enjoyed those puppies since they share many affinities. So don't forget: "Character is what you are in the dark" (intentionally retro) and "Wherever you go, there you are!" (just nonsense). 4 stars. (4-9-09 posted 4-29-09)

The Matrix: Reloaded (2003)

What exactly is the problem with all the snarky naysayers when it comes to The Matrix: Reloaded? What a fickle gaggle of ingrates! First the Wachowski Bros. make an absolutely revolutionary movie in The Matrix. Suddenly the sequel's rival surfeit of adrenaline-pumping fight and action scenes is somehow "boring"? So Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity continue their mission (to boldly kick ass where no one has gone before) and lead the last surviving human colony (with many new and interesting characters) towards revolution and a doubtful outcome -- how exactly is this "boring"? After numerous viewings, I still find Reloaded to be mesmerizing. Yes, the plot in Reloaded feels looser than in The Matrix, but I think that's because it's complex rather than nonexistent. Actually, I think the rub lies in that Reloaded fleshes out the intellectual underpinnings of The Matrix: More than perhaps any other, Reloaded is the thinking person's science fiction movie -- and for too many people, having to think is "boring" (or laughable). To enjoy this movie, you need the chops to pay as close attention to the dialog as to the kung fu. The Merovingian tips the hand by asserting that "choice is an illusion" but the Architect is no joke: Everything he says is pure, sweet exposition and makes complete sense. (Unfortunately, nihilism doesn't contribute much to Neo's strategy against the machines -- which is also doubtless a part of their strategy -- so instead he chooses to save what is truly human: Love.) Please pay attention to the age-appropriate notes for children to the left, since the wild rumpus in Zion is quite sensual in a tribal sense and Neo's lovemaking with Trinity is quite sensual in a carnal sense. Oh yah, the sequel's soundtrack is equally awesome. The Matrix: Reloaded -- come for the fight scenes, stay for the philosophy! 4.5 stars.

Jurassic Park III (2001)

I chose to own all three Jurassic Park movies because -- this is Jurassic C-G-I Park with a dinosaur tail on it, yo, and I have a son who loved dinosaurs. Since then, nightmares have replaced some of the love, but these films are classics and he'll enjoy them again someday -- after therapy or maybe another 5 years? Anyway, The Lost World novel had a few narrative threads yet to mine for a third movie, so the makers went back to trying to devise an even bigger (and hence scarier) dinosaur -- even if they somehow forgot to put the actors (and hence us) in even more scarier situations. Sure, a spinosaurus treads scenery a few times and mixes it up with a T-Rex -- and a couple other known dinosaur species are encountered -- but these are merely episodic excursions instead of what could have been dire mortal peril as in the first movie's sustained T-Rex and velociraptor attacks. A few bursts of epinephrine but no adrenaline-spawned pools of flop sweat. At least they got back Sam Neill for one last oh-God-not-dinos-again hurrah. William H. Macy is always great; Tea Leoni was passable. The mercenaries just made for quick dinofodder. (Way to add that sickening bone crunch to every chomp. Yick! How perfunctory yet declasse as scripted deaths go -- did the dinos get a check-em-off shopping list?) The ending is fairly weak. If I had to try and come up with the best scene in the movie, it would take a while but I think I'd pick the dream scene on the plane -- and that says something about the rest of the movie, doesn't it? 3.5 stars.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

I had to own all three Jurassic Park movies: Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, dinosaurs. The second and the third movies are each progressively weaker than the preceding film -- probably because each strived to present a bigger dinosaur more than to perpetuate the first movie's visceral thrill or even to extend that foreboding sense of "Aiiieeee--!" *GULP!* (Selling the gristle not the sizzle.) Actually I liked the second film just fine; it had a lot of the Jurassic Park spirit, just in a different way. Jeffrey Goldblum is always superb, here as the persecuted whistleblower: "There are no versions of the truth" and "Sure, that's how it starts: The oohing and the aahing. But later, there's the running and the screaming..." Richard Attenborough (God rest his cinematic and his eternal soul) has come around and wants to redeem his sins by mounting an emergency expedition to save the dinos' legacy. Can the Earth lovers -- or the thunder lizards -- defeat the corporate pirates? Julianne Moore has gone rushing in where mortals fear to tread. At least Pete Postlethwaite wisely quits while he's ahead -- before the nocturnal stampede. Don't drink the crimson creekwater! And that's just the first half of the movie before things really run aground and the T-Rex goes rushing in where mortals -- scream. "Cleanup in aisle 3." How high a body count can a body count? The Lost World: Jurassic Park 2 -- come for the menace and stay for the mayhem. It's always a thrill to watch. The John Williams musical score remains, of course, unforgettable. 4.5 stars.

Jurassic Park (1993)

By dint of its script by the late science fiction novelist Michael Crichton, blockbuster computer graphics by George Lucas's Industrial Light & Magic, and movie direction by Steven Spielberg, Jurassic Park still remains the greatest dinosaur movie ever made. It's funny, it's scary, it's iconic, and it's not yet been matched (though Peter Jackson's King Kong tried for a fraction of its 3-hour runtime). Never before had we seen a T-Rex or velociraptor in all its jaw-dropping (and jaw-crunching) infamy. Plus the late Stan Winston's gutteral, amped-out dino roars made us pee our pants clear to next Tuesday's wash. Only in Jurassic Park can you ... SEE world-famous paleontologists (Sam Neill and Laura Dern) use sonar technology to assist their fossil digs as Sam's character sadistically lectures a toothsome preteen on the smorgasbord tactics of the velociraptor. HEAR rockstar mathematician (Jeff Goldblum) lecture the jaded capitalist (the late Richard Attenborough) on his doomed approach to genetic engineering and, incidentally, theme-park development. WINCE at the capitalist's oft-repeated mantra "Spared no expense!" SHIVER as your heart drops to the pit of your gullet just before you read the words "Objects in this mirror are larger than they appear" or (if you are an attorney) your torso drops to the pit of a T-Rex gullet! SMIRK as the beefy programmer (Wayne Knight) tells the dilophosaurus "I have nothing on me. I have no food on me!" The fear is palpable -- oh yeah, the flop sweat is running down the small of your back, but that's not flop sweat running down your leg. Jurassic Park -- proudly serving up nightmares for 16 years now. Watch it again and say it with me: "Where's the goat...?" 5 stars.

The Abyss (1989)

The Abyss is one of the best sci-fi movies I have seen -- and always it plucks at my heartstrings. (You don't find science and emotion paired together well very often in science fiction so that's something in itself. Besides, James Cameron was clearly the guy to make a sci-fi movie set completely in a subsea drilling platform and submersibles.) I own the video and the novel -- which is excellent, by the way, since Cameron picked master of characterization Orson Scott Card to further flesh out the inner motivations of Lindsay the rig designer and Bud the crew foreman (not to mention the inscrutable actions of the Builders). It would give too much away to say more about the love/hate relationship between Ed Burns and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio but their cold side always entertains while their warm side never fails to melt me (esp. Bud's farewell and the effect it has on his people as well as a matter of extraterrestrial import). Bud's epiphany makes for a thrilling climax and denouement, of course. The only thing I don't like in this movie is the ham-handed acting of the lead Navy SEAL (Michael Biehn) -- though you have to respect his tenacity. The rest of the ensemble cast does well in their respective roles, every one. What makes The Abyss so iconic and memorable though is its sense of wonder and discovery. The musical score beautifully conveys that spirit of the explorer which The Abyss posits to reside at the core of our very human nature. 5 stars.

The Matrix (1999)

The Matrix defines "awesome" so it was the perfect movie to inaugurate my DVD system (back in the day). Even compared to Brazil and Naked Lunch, The Matrix is arguably the greatest cyberpunk movie ever and, to my mind, the greatest science-fiction movie to date. It has a powerhouse story (no pun intended), martial-arts beatdowns, shoot-em-up arsenals, and an arsenal of cutting-edge special effects. It features a complex and intelligent narrative with embedded clues and convoluted exposition. Many who have seen The Matrix tell me it similarly blew them away. Our story begins with "Mr. Anderson," a corporate programmer by day and a hacker by night. Neo has spent years of sleepless nights searching the cybernets for the identity of the mysterious Morpheus and the secrets behind The Matrix. He follows several omniscient clues to a rave where he meets Trinity, a notorious hacker who can show him the way -- but then Agents come to arrest him on suspicion of conspiracy (not that they need a reason to go all police-state on anyone). From here, Neo's narrative becomes worse than a Kafkaesque nightmare -- and only Morpheus can show him "how far down the rabbit hole goes." It turns out the world is not as it seems and Morpheus believes Neo has a messianic destiny. As to how it all plays out, I can say no more. This movie has so many great scenes and lines. Like Ahnuld was perfect for the Terminator, Keanu Reeves is apt for the moodily trenchant, trenchcoat-wearing Neo. Laurence Fishburne will be best known as Neo's trainer and true believer, Morpheus. Carrie-Anne Moss is a standout, a knockout, and a kickass as Trinity. All the supporting roles are excellent: Tank, Dozer, Mouse, Switch, and esp. Joe Pantaliano as the slimy Cipher. Hugo Weaving is exceptional as Agent Smith and Gloria Foster is inimitable as the cryptic Oracle. Be sure to see The Matrix if you like Jet Li, Sam Peckinpah, and The Godfather. In return, you'll see groundbreaking martial-arts scenes, including the Wachowski Brothers' 360-degree panoramic and "bullet-time" scenes that instantly proved to be so culturally iconic as well as the biggest wirework martial-arts shoot-em-up scene ever filmed. More than action piled on action, however, it's the impact of the story behind The Matrix that makes it weighty and memorable. True, it's only science fiction, but if you suspect that truth can eventually become stranger than fiction, then more so than with The Terminator or Jurassic Park, you may never look at the real world in the same way again. 5 stars.

Runaway Bride (1999)

I was reasonably impressed with the middle-of-the-road romantic comedy Runaway Bride because, in addition to mainly allowing Richard Gere to beam beatifically at the beautiful if frantic Julia Roberts, there was a seed of a motive to the story. Gere is a columnist who hears about a woman who has approached the marriage altar with three men and every time fled in a panic, refusing to wed each prospective groom before it ever came to saying "I do." So he makes a snarky comment in print -- and she writes to gently chide, "How can you say that? You don't even know me." He decides to travel and meet her, then write a column about the real woman. Being Gere and Roberts, yes, they are going to have to fall in love -- wouldn't you think? -- but what was most interesting to me (though maybe not to everyone) is how patiently he helps her identify and face her fears. (I love the triumphant scene where she's nailed it on the head and is attacking it with gusto.) As for the ending, if she's given one more chance at the altar -- will she run? It was a suspenseful and enjoyable ending. The movie's closing credits are hilarious because of the Dixie Chicks' music video of the rollicking song "Ready to Run" in which they play three hightailing brides. 3.5 stars.

Frost/Nixon (2008)

Some may pooh-pooh Ron Howard but he did his homework for Apollo 13 so well that now everyone thinks Jim Lovell's famous words were "Houston, we have a problem." (Howard recast the line slightly for dramatic effect but aced a shipload of technical details for accuracy.) Along similar lines, Frost/Nixon well deserves its Oscar nomination, since the Nixonian era is recreated almost as faithfully as an episode of Mad Men in this drama-as-documentary. While I could often hear the smooth undertones of Frank Langella's trademark purr, he expertly channeled Nixon's jowly growl and his tortured psyche for the duration. Not a whit of Tricky Dick caricatures here, only his humanity -- abhorrent at times but ultimately tragic (if self-inflicted and incapable of repentence). The close facial studies in this movie are refulgent in their revelations but what kept me on the edge of my seat was the banter -- not merely banter, of course, but the jabs and counterjabs of a bantamweight (Frost) against a welterweight (Nixon). Make no mistake, this movie is an intellectual boxing match with bobbing, weaving, and feinting as real as any physical contest. Nixon's power-hungry inner Machiavelli counted coup early on David Frost's media playboy persona, outmatching him and seizing the upper hand for three of the four taping sessions. Only when Michael Sheen as Frost sets aside his baseless optimism to take the bull by the horns does he wrest the history-making confession from Nixon that the country sought. (Would that Bush and Cheney remembered that just because the President does or asserts something illegal does *not* make it legal.) Sam Rockwell, Toby Jones, and Oliver Platt as Frost's prep team slip into their supporting roles in a fashion that feels iconically familiar and Kevin Bacon is excellent as Nixon's uptight chief of staff. Frost/Nixon feels like we're watching history in the making. Whether you lived through the Watergate scandal or want an emotionally fulfilling history lesson on its latter-day milestones, Frost/Nixon presents America with a timeless chapter in our recent past that should never be repeated again. The deleted scenes are interesting but I'm pleased they were deleted. 4.5 stars.

Gregorian Chant: Songs of the Spirit (1995)

This disc (currently available for viewing online) makes a worthwhile introduction to Gregorian chant for newcomers as well as a beautiful audiovisual album for aficionados to watch and listen. The music is rich, textured, and inspiring. A slide show of beautiful church and monastery scenes (architectural as well as decorative) dating back to the 1200s lends visual anchors to the aural flow. Between pieces, de la Cuesta offers several explanatory sentences about the art form and his lifelong appreciation for chant. He closes by citing chant's spiritual and emotional power, which I for one found evident throughout the lay and monastic choirs' selections but esp. in the final piece. The words may blur together unless you know Latin but I suspect this disc can imbue relaxation and peace anytime you are prepared to listen. 3.5 stars.

Earth (2007)

Disneynature's Earth, at $40 million the most expensive documentary ever made, opened in the theaters on Earth Day 2009 with record revenues (for a documentary) of $4 million. Although I wasn't aware when I saw it last night that this 1.5-hour movie is a compilation from the astounding 11-hour Discovery/BBC series Planet Earth, I remain extremely satisfied with my viewing experience. Earth is a reimagined and integral whole that will continue to have massive appeal to families and nature lovers. Make no mistake: The high-definition cinematography is jaw-droppingly gorgeous. This valentine to Earth will make you fall in love with our planet (if you weren't already). Time-lapse photography is used occasionally to beautiful effect (even when showing slime mold growth in the tundra). The aerial photography is thrilling and the night-vision photography of an elephant/lion smackdown is impressive. James Earl Jones as narrator lends his stentorious tones to a script that (being Disney) threads a "family" theme throughout -- even though the fathers are absent in the scenes that develop the stories of a polar bear and her cubs, an elephant and her calf, and a humpback whale and her calf. (The polar bear father forms a separate narrative since -- as Jones intones, "he isn't going to be much help" in hunting for survival -- male polar bears are solitary and fend for themselves.) Earth has gentle humor (esp. polar bear cubs navigating a slope and bird-of-paradise mating dances) but also implied death. (Three animals are seen being brought down in slow motion, other animals are attacked but escape, and two animals are left in mortal condition. No one gets the coup-de-grace on camera though.) In summary, the family theme helps anthropomorphize and focus the narrative for kiddos but I wouldn't advise letting children age 5 and under witness the "circle of life" scenes in the tundra, desert, and ocean. Discounted a half-star for being "too cute" to 4.5 stars.

The Fly (1958)

While I like Jeff Goldblum in anything the man does, including his remake of this film, the original version of The Fly is no slouch for a classic movie. Vincent Price bookends this story as the affable brother of Andre Delambre (David Hedison), a brilliant independent scientist with a boatload of electronic gear and a mainframe computer in his basement annex. (Both independently wealthy men bankroll the laboratory.) Basically Cary Grant with a brain and a science fetish, Andre has applied himself to making several utopian breakthroughs (mentioned rapidly by his wife in a quiz about his current project) with no success. This time, however, he has achieved the ultimate boon to mankind (as he aptly explains its potential): a matter-to-matter teleportation device. It still has a few bugs (no pun intended) he needs to work out. His bioethics are suspect when it comes to testing living beings though -- and he personally pays the ultimate price. Costume effects include a fly head and claw, for the most part hidden from his wife as he lurks in his laboratory (although, sure, she eventually pulls off his hood and screams). Special effects include (naturally) lots of blinky lights on the computer and a spinning tape drive (oooh! technical!) plus a bank of colorful neon-tube lights (huh?) before the glass-walled teleportation cabinet glows blue then flashes an intense yellow. Audio effects are as completely consistent as the special effects, ending with a loud zapping sound. The Fly is no slouch as a classic sci-fi movie. What I enjoy about classic movies is their social dynamic seen in conversation and etiquette. His wife Helene (Patricia Owens) is a blonde vision in pearls, loving and supportive of her husband yet vapidly disaffected too. (Her flatness of affect and state of denial are understandable given what has transpired though it comes with the telltale whiff of chauvinism: The men around her decide her fate and betray her to get the truth. Even her more-earnest-than-Opie son comments, "You know how [temperamental] women can be.") Because of what is at stake, she has been nearly obsessive in her search for a single fly -- which no one sees until the end: "Help me-e-e!" Yes, the acting is just more than acceptable but The Fly is a memorable classic sci-fi detective movie. 3.5 stars. (4-10-09 posted 4-22-09)

The Game (1997)

The Game is a tangled nest of plot twists that made for a rollicking roller-coaster ride the first time I saw it and a riveting reliving of the thrills the second time. And I'll gladly watch it again. Wealthy financier Nicholas Van Orton (Michael Douglas) gets a visit from his estranged black-sheep brother Conrad (Sean Penn) on his birthday but the pair again parts with bitter words. Suddenly, Nicholas is caught up in a shadowy, convoluted web known only as "the Game" where reality proves unreal and no one can be trusted. (One scene is reminiscent of Dustin Hoffman's escape in Marathon Man.) And what about the mysterious woman named Christine (Deborah Kara Unger)? In any event, Nicholas is on the run for his life right up to the moment he crashes through a fresh perspective. Does he live? Does he get the girl? No one can tell you who or what "the Game" is; you have to experience it (and survive) to find out. 5 stars.

U Turn (1997)

U Turn is one of my most favorite movies, largely because of Billy Bob Thornton's quirky role as a scuzzball car mechanic. (Talk about grea-sy!) Sean Penn is a frustrated loner who cannot escape a seedy backwater burg for anything. Witnessing his trials is a wicked pleasure, but Billy Bob puts a sadistic glee into his misery. No, Sean, don't get uppity or make him mad -- your sweet ride wouldn't like him when he's mad. Just watch your back (and your wallet) -- or best yet, start walking. Try to put as many miles between you and the hayseed hamlet where your car broke down. Trust no one -- after all, no one trusts you! And stop ogling that hot dish played by J-Lo -- or you'll be sorry! Run, fool! Or stay -- so we can feel your pain. Misery loves company, right? Pass the popcorn. 5 stars.

A Knight's Tale (2001)

After I saw A Knight's Tale on the big screen with an English professor friend, I decided to own my own copy so I could watch it at will. I've introduced my youngest son to the movie and he loves it too. It served as my introduction to Heath Ledger, who plays William Thatcher, a knight's apprentice who finds himself unemployed -- so he decides to begin a "free lance" career of his own on the jousting circuits. His knight-errant companions, the Sancho-Panza-esque Roland (Marki Addy) and quirky Wat (Alan Tudyk), remind him that "only landed gentry with patents of nobility may compete" but Will tells them, "I won't remain nothing. A man can change his stars." Along comes the irascible if not-yet-famous Geoffrey Chaucer (Paul Bettany) -- fairly comfortable in his own skin, as you might say -- and the four enterprising young men have a team. Much of the movie's entertainment comes from the anachronistic blending of music by Queen and David Bowie in a medieval setting. It's just a hoot to see peasants reveling at a jousting tourney like so many Green Bay Packer fans to the tune of "We Will Rock You" as Geoff introduces Will like a wrestling promoter: "I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ul-l-lrich von Lichtenstein!" Will also spies and gives his heart to a beautiful lady (Shannyn Sossamon), who doesn't make things easy for him. Their romance is endearing and hilarious. Nor should we forget Prince Adhemar (Rufus Sewell), Will's daunting (and denting) nemesis on and off the jousting fields. A double-twist and soaringly satisfactory ending wrap up this thoroughly entertaining romp. 5 stars.

Transporter 2 (2005)

Jason Statham's clearly impressive fight moves -- and physique, when his shirt gets torn off, as it always does -- are again in superb evidence in Transporter 2. His biggest fight scene in the first Transporter movie was in a car garage where, in his use-whatever-is-at-hand style of martial arts, he lubed up his entire body then chock-walked on bicycle-pedal clips to gain the upper hand in footing and fighting. In Transporter 2, again in a garage, he famously wields a fire hose to take down more than a dozen bad guys. Yes, his fight scenes are choreographed but the best part is usually when he fights in close quarters and uses a shirt, jacket, post, or forearms as pinions of leverage against his opponent's own body. It's like a ballet of hurt. Jason is the Aussie answer to Jackie Chan -- less crane style, more big guns (fists and firearms). Jason as the taciturn Frank Martin takes on more opponents at one time but his premise remains the same: He is the consummate professional who will outdrive, outfight, and outpursue the baddest bad guys in order to save the life of the innocent -- in this case, the sweet son of a banking executive (Matthew Modine) who has been targeted for death by an arms dealer with a weaponized deadly serum. The oily arms dealer (Alessandro Gassman) keeps a sexy Shiva named Lola (Kate Nauta) who loves bustiers and slash-and-burn firefights; she's the best bad girl since Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) tried to (get on and) off James Bond (Pierce Brosnan). In a mild comic touchstone not unlike Dennis Miller's role in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Inspector Tarconi (François Berléand) reappears as a laconic French detective, with vacation plans that fizzle. Frank's friendship with the sardonic Frenchie shows a gentle philosophical side to male bonding that comes from world-weariness while possessing competence and an inner confidence. Frank's relationship with his pint-sized charge is also very special since he invests his full attention and affection in the boy; their riddle games are esp. poignant as is Frank's vigilance and protectiveness. Tight fights, tight editing, average scripting, and acceptable acting: Transporter 2 is as good as Transporter -- not to mention Mr. and Mrs. Smith or Shooting Aces -- and I like it even better. Yes, it's over-the-top with stunts and testosterone like Die Hard Live Free; what's wrong with that? Pass the popcorn and enjoy! 4.5 stars.

The Eruption of Mount St. Helens: IMAX (1980)

The Eruption of Mount St. Helens was my favorite IMAX film when it came out and for the 20 years following. (It could still be so but it's time to screen it again and compare it with others I've seen in the third decade. By the way, the best venue on which to see any IMAX movie is the 360-degree hemispherical Omnitheater at the Science Museum of Minnesota in downtown St. Paul.) The live footage of the mountain's liquefaction, collapse, and catastrophic explosion is unparalleled in the annals of science documentaries. The angry mile-high pillar of ash is as unforgettable as the Northwest's black pall was eerie. Though snow plows cleared most of the ash mounds that covered the highways and fouled car engines, I visited the region one year later to still see hillocks of ash everywhere. I personally surveyed the deforestation from a twin-engine tour plane and found it to be just as in this movie: Hundreds of square miles of flattened trees, all pointing away the source of the hellish destruction that took the lives of Harry Truman, David Johnston, and others. This documentary clearly and thoughtfully conveys the vast devastation that gives one pause to humbly consider the immense energies contained within our common creche, our planet Earth. 5 stars.

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

To try to convince you of how rancid this movie is, let me describe just one five-minute segment. Let's say you're channel-surfing and you fall upon the story at this point: The sky opens up in a vast upside-down maelstrom (that looks like it was drawn using the Children's Finger Paint Edition of Lightwave special-effects software) except instead of sucking things into its well or funnel (going up), this celestial whirlpool serves as a portal to deliver several jet-propelled agents of evil (coming down). Next, a Power Rangers lookalike (though with dreadlocks of conduit) ominously enters the laboratory where Sonya is trying to free Jax from the shackles of a slab where he has been the cybernetically modified to "four times the usual strength." Jax decides to "see what these things can do" and uses his silvery biceps to rip off his own shackles. (How unforesightful of his evil-scientist overseers.) "Now that's what I'm talking about!" he exclaims -- just as Mr. Roboto unleashes several detonation charges in their general vicinity. Huge fireballs ensue. (Naturally, they duck, run, and therefore live.) Several martial-arts enemies appear to confront Sonya; Jax says he'll take on the robot. Several minutes of hee-yah! hee-yah! kickboxing ensue with bodies being flung against walls dozens of times. Eventually, the bad guys are vanquished (the last one by Sonya, no I am not making this up, hitting him over the head with a metal bowl) but Robodroid unleashes a farewell valentine for the fighting duo. (Naturally, they run, dive, and therefore live.) The scene shifts to the dark (and doubtless fetid) war council, where the general and his adjutants snarl and cast imprecations on each other, vying for superiority. (What is it with evil overlords and their fixation on grandstanding?) The dark lord strides in with a giant black mallet, mouths inane dialog then swings it to (literally) fire his general, then growls for a replacement. Three of the four adjutants snarl (one gnashing his teeth so hard you wonder about his medical bills for TMJ) and cast imprecations on each other, vowing their loyalty as they vie for superiority. The dark lord says "No! You are all too impetuous!" and picks as his new general the fourth -- she of impeccable makeup and silent leer, who has never said a word -- then storms out. This is when you make your exit too. 1 star.

The Hobbit (1978)

To every serious (if not merely sincere) lover of J.R.R. Tolkien's writings, the Rankin-Bass animated production of The Hobbit is a cringe-inducing travesty. Curiously enough, however, and particularly while bearing in mind the production's offenses to Tolkien's literary legacy, the Rankin-Bass name carries with it a certain popularity and the studio's animation style, while maudlin, has gained a certain iconic status. (Like it or not, the H.R. Pufnstuf look for Bilbo Baggins has become part of the cinematic legacy. Sigh.) Now if something could just be done about the dippy musical numbers! (Oh well, it could be worse: They could have used Leonard Nimoy singing "Bilbo Baggins.") See this one if you are a Tolkien completist and have thick skin -- lest you screech at the liberties taken by the script -- or if you have no awareness of Tolkien's bestselling children's book and simply want to give your family a fresh look at a cute story about hobbits and dwarves heading off to steal (back) a dragon's treasure. Enjoy! 2.5 stars.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Dr. Strangelove runs neck-and-neck with Network as the most incisive satire on modern society that I've yet seen. Network critiques the anything-goes voyeurism encouraged by our mass-media culture while Dr. Strangelove satirizes the military-industrial complex and esp. the insanity that lurks behind nuclear weapons. An incredibly lean, tight, and understated seriocomedy, Dr. Strangelove opens in the offices of Brig. Gen. Jack (D.!) Ripper (Sterling Hayden), who has just taken the liberty of locking down Burpelson AFB after commanding the strategic wing to attack the Soviet Union in a nuclear first strike. (He's nursed one too many anti-Communist conspiracy theories and finally snapped.) Peter Sellers plays three masterful roles in this movie: R.A.F. exchange officer Lionel Mandrake (Ripper's effete British second-in-command) as well as U.S. President Merkin Muffley and his creepy national security adviser Dr. Strangelove. Ripper has sprung a complex trap that will take the President, with all his advisors, to (if not over) the brink of nuclear Armageddon. George C. Scott plays the testosterone-soaked Gen. Buck Turgidson, who at one point begins capering and cackling, all gung-ho and golliwog over America's undeniable military prowess -- until he realizes that hundreds of millions of lives are on a matchpoint and everyone else in the war room happens to be aghast. Hayden and Scott are dead-to-rights perfect in their roles. I hadn't seen this movie since grad school but it amazes me how many of Muffley's presidential lines remained memorable and classic (from "Listen, Dimitri--" to "I'm just as sorry as you are, Dimitri! We're both sorry!" to the unforgettable "Gentlemen, this is the war room -- you can't fight in here!") Also a gem is Mandrake's stiff-upper-lip kid-glove treatment of Ripper but Sellers' ultimate coup is Strangelove as the Teutonic tutor to the ruling class -- esp. as his black-gloved right hand repeatedly takes the cigarette away from or has to get smacked down by the left hand, spasmodically salutes to an ejaculatory "Mein Fuhrer!" and morbidly tries to throttle its owner as he speaks. The military logistics are as realistic as a Tom Clancy novel right up until Slim Pickens, a-whoopin' and a-hollerin', completes his mission. Every role in this movie feels measured to perfection. This one should be on everyone's must-see list. 5 stars.

SpongeBob vs. the Big One (2009)

SpongeBob vs. the Big One is merely passable for a Spongebob feature. An average episode is much funnier (for example, any one of the three episodes -- "the hash-slinging slasher" or Mr. Krabs dates Mrs. Puff or Plankton beats Mr. Krabs at cards -- that preceded this feature on the airwaves today). Casting Johnny Depp is no big deal since his character (Jack Kahuna Laguna or JKL) is an impassive, Zen-like surfing guru with 15 minutes of screen time tops. The plot is weak and the resolution weaker. See this only if you're a Spongebob (or Depp) completist or have to duck to avoid seeing it. In other words, it's not worth an extra effort to view but go ahead if you have nothing better to do. Enjoy! 3 stars.

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

Everyone loves Wallace & Gromit. The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is a thoroughly inventive, affectionate, G-rated romp full of caroming confrontations with things that go bump in the night. Cheeseloving Wallace's Rube Goldberg inventions, his faithful canine assistant Gromit's silently suffering facial expressions, and Lady Tottington's mincing are an absolute stitch. I love the rabbits' playful glee even when suspended inside the Bunvac 5000. (Think of a tent-sized Dyson vacuum for bunnies.) You'll need to see this movie more than once to catch all the claymation details. Don't miss the deleted scenes and many other extras about Ardman Productions, including the claymation short Stage Fright (a cowardly vaudeville dog trainer and his female associate overcome a bullying silent movie producer). 4.5 stars. (12-30-07 updated 4-18-09)

The Stunt Man (1980)

The Stunt Man is an inventive and surprising movie that I saw in the theater on its release. It's the picaresque story of Lucky (Steve Railsback), a fugitive who lies low working as a movie stuntman. This movie is known for showing how movies do stunts as well as playfully reframing juxtaposed scenes. For example, we see Lucky falling off a plane wing as he is practicing a wing-walking scene. Then, cut to a closeup of his face undergoing some apparent impact as we conclude he's just had the stuffing knocked out of him -- when the camera pulls back to reveal it's a completely different setting. You'll constantly find your assumptions being tweaked -- and it's a sexy movie too. My second-favorite scene is how Barbara Hershey, his love interest, yanks him from a cold start to a spin cycle the first time. Peter O'Toole chews through scenes as the megalomaniacal director of the movie within the movie, so there's also the potential for betrayal and sabotage and murder as our story gradually winds itself between the bookend dramatic scenes at the beginning and at the climax. Oh, they supposedly destroyed one of four surviving models of the 13 original hand-built Duesenbergs to film the scene, so you could be tempted to say "It's a real Duesy!" -- the car is the origin of the phrase "It's a real doozy!" -- but the survivor count remains at four today, so like their other movie tricks, the Deusenberg appears to have had a stand-in too. 4 stars.

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

The first Austin Powers movie is the best of three but that's not saying much: I give them (in their natural order) 2.5 stars, 1.5 stars, and 1 star. (Hint: I give The 40-Year-Old Virgin and the Korean short Doggie Poo 2 stars.) This third is a turd -- literally. So much of the humor is scatological, the film canister as well as the DVD should go straight in a diaper pail. While Michael Caine can generally do no wrong, this script leaves him (as Austin Powers' dad) virtually defenseless and bereft of charm. Meanwhile, his presence gives Mike Myers (as Austin Powers) the unfortunate entitlement to make even worse attempts at sexual humor and come-ons than ever (all the while smirking and snorking as if he's funny and likeable). Beyonce (as quasi-blaxploitation princess Foxy Brown) is vapid when it comes to facial expressions or mouthing more than one line at a time. (Her twin demimoons and glitter are more expressive than she is.) Myers is also back as Dr. Evil (with a massive Dr. Evil-shaped submarine that -- with all its butt-related attempts at humor, I'm not going to "go there"). Verne Troyer (as Dr. Evil's Mini-Me clone) is so underused as to be pathetic; he's mostly kicked around (literally). The script's attempts at humor don't even reach the low point called droll. Myers also plays two new villains that are reprehensible not for their motives but because they're simply disgusting. For no reason that makes any sense, Goldmember has glowing golden genitalia; he often pulls out and throws around a metallic rod and makes inane comments that no one laughs at. He has a Dutch accent and others often insult the Dutch. Worst person in the world, however, is Fat Bastard (yes, that's his name). Being a Myers caricature, he has a Sco'ish accent and the worst hygiene you could imagine. (I won't try to characterize his putrescence but most of his attention and conversation has to do with, and therefore is, literal crap.) The only character I like is the Teutonic banshee, Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling, also iCarly's Ms. Briggs): "Lies! All lies!" The point of the movie (if it has any) is that Seth Green (as Dr. Evil's son Scott) has joined his father on the dark side (even if he does run like a girl, settle on a bad combover, and has a lot of work to do on his evil laugh). The end is a muddle but the whole of Austin Powers 3 is a mess salad; no funnier than tossed cookies, it puts the urge in regurgitate. 1 star. (4-10-09 posted 4-14-09)

Tracey Ullman's State of the Union: Season 2 (2009)

TV. As usual, Tracey Ullman's impressions are spot-on accurate as satire -- first as a Hispanic news anchor ("I'm Linda AHL-vah-reys!") then Arianna Huffington (hoping to sweet-talk Obama into a diplomatic post) plus several picaresque sketches as Laura Bush (puffing away on a cigarette as she fusses about hotter-'n'-blazes Crawford and blithely denies theft from or vandalism to the White House) and a menopausal flight attendant. Don't miss the Bollywood dance number! However, her Celine Dion fell completely flat -- ugh! The mockumentary format sports a great soundtrack; you can even pick out a Valkyrie theme. This season's premiere felt great and gave me plenty of warm chuckles. You just have to be able to think fast to follow along, esp. with the Bollywood lyrics. 3.5 stars.

Swing Vote (2008)

It's a great movie premise: What if the outcome of the entire presidential election hinged on one citizen's vote? (Actual state and local contests have run as close as one vote.) Furthermore, what if that person was a clueless Joe Six-Pack who couldn't give a fig? (During the 2008 election, John McCain's oft-vaunted "Joe the Plumber" gave a whit but proved to lack a clue as well as a plumbing license.) Swing Vote gives us Kevin Costner as the beer-loving lout of a single dad whose grade-school daughter (Madeline Carroll) has had to grow up fast if Bud (that's his name) is to get out of bed, provide something edible, drive her to school, and show up at his job. As a bright, motivated, and conscientious student, she intends to write her school report about the election but Joe flubs up. Meanwhile, one vote is accidentally invalidated -- Joe's, it turns out -- so the entire national election hangs in the balance until he can cast his vote. I love how the vote becomes miscast then discovered -- and how both presidential candidates lampoonishly court Joe as if he were a one-stop electoral college. (Kelsey Grammer makes a perfectly stuffy Republican buffoon while Dennis Hopper is the Democratic mannekin. Their advisors, esp. Nathan Lane and Stanley Tucci, are suitably satirical too.) The standout performance here though is Madeline Carroll -- she weighs in with the best of the adults. Watch for her in future roles and see Swing Vote if you appreciate how democracy works (or would enjoy satire about how it shouldn't work). I saw it in the theater but it's a fun one-time view for anyone who likes to root for the redemption of Joe Six-Pack and his devoted daughter. 4 stars.

The Longshots (2008)

I saw The Longshots in the theater with a bookish yet active 11-year-old girl who liked the movie almost as much as I did. It's a can-do, feel-good movie that doesn't start out that way but gets there in leaps and bounds. Ice Cube is a down-on-his-luck former high-school football player who clings to bygone memories of his glory days and never goes anywhere without a football in his hand. (He'd probably have an emotional breakdown if he weren't so depressed and disspirited about his inability to find or hold a job.) Suddenly his mousy 11-year-old niece (Keke Palmer) needs a latchkey uncle, a part-time post he grudgingly accepts. At some point during his daily slumming and kvetching around the school's football field, Keke is asked to throw a football back -- and does so with a zing. The rest of the movie gives us the spiraling buildup of determination and exultation as the young girl discovers and exercises her amazing gift -- and teaches kids a lesson about trusting oneself and one's loved ones. The Longshots is an inspiring black-girl-plays-football story that has elements of Million Dollar Baby, Remember the Titans, Friday Night Lights, and Akeela and the Bee. 4 stars.

Nights in Rodanthe (2008)

Nights in Rodanthe is a mature romance where a troubled doctor (Richard Gere) schedules a few sanity days at a secluded beachhouse off the North Carolina coast -- in the face of an impending hurricane, it turns out. The beachhouse owner's friend (Diane Lane) has agreed to play host for the solitary guest during his getaway. As the pair clumsily prepares the towering and turreted chateau for the storm, their emotional vulnerabilities (or maybe it's just libidos) surface and they fall into each other's arms. I saw this movie in the theater in October just two months after Hurricane Ike scoured Galveston and scraped the seaboard to its east completely off the map, and having personally weathered through two hurricanes an hour north of the coast in Houston, I have to say I find it completely unrealistic for a man and a woman to be canoodling instead of fearing for their lives in such circumstances. (Three dozen former residents of Crystal Beach might agree with me but their bodies have not yet been found.) To top off this fantasy, the next morning both of their cars are still on the sand under the house -- neither flooded nor washed away in the storm surge! Furthermore, while any man can appreciate the attractions of sexual intimacy, I have to agree with my viewing partner that one-night stands convey a tawdriness that disappoints on film. Finally, this movie left major plot holes and narrative gaps by trying to suggest deeper, troubled characters without putting in the effort to portray or even mention their struggles. It's as if they're going through the motions without truly connecting much less filling a lasting need. As a result, Nights in Rodanthe is like a gussied costume drapery with nothing to show beyond the window. 3.5 stars.

Last Chance Harvey (2009)

Last-Chance Harvey gives Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson a wonderful venue to slip off their shoes and display their complete comfort with each other's company. I suspect only these two could pull off this movie like they did. They're older than Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail but love comes to the presenior set too. Last-Chance Harvey is like the antithesis to Kramer vs. Kramer meets You've Got Mail. Dustin has lost his job as an old-school advertising jingle composer and finds himself in London hanging out in an airport cafe. He introduces himself to the woman reading a book at the next table and they just keep talking (in other London locations too). That's it -- and it's completely charming. There's a subplot involving Dustin's estranged daughter who is getting married in London, and Emma's character brings grace and charm to that connection too. There's no sex or even a suggestion of anything beyond tender romance so, yes, I would call it an ideal date movie for any couple. Last-Chance Harvey is a simple, unpretentious, low-key yet thoroughly enthralling elaboration of what I personally find to be the most promising story premise of all: An earnest man, a gracious woman, and all the time in the world. 4 stars.

Marley & Me (2008)

Marley & Me is a wonderful family movie that apparently doesn't fit some people's expectations for audience, category, or content. For want of a better category, it is loosely labeled as a comedy because it's funnier than a drama and there's no category for that bittersweet or tragicomic thing we call real life. Death is part of life and sadness is the other side of joy, which is precisely the point of this heartwarming and true story written by newspaper columnist John Grogan. I have it on the best authority (until I read it myself) that the book is better -- so read it if you are inclined -- but we are talking about a movie, which is a different art form than a novel and allowed its own artistic license. Before you let children younger than a mature 11 see Marley & Me, please rely on more than the cute puppy scenes in the commercials and read the parental notes to the left (always a good idea) that clearly state this movie is not written for children younger than 13 because of tastefully treated mature themes like love, marriage, and death. Fundamentalists, please note that the movie is rightly rated PG because of two scenes of canine humping (a fact of life if you have a non-neutered dog), Jennifer Aniston's bare back, four bedspring creaks in the dark, a few come-hither looks, and a few utterances of "crap" or "damn." (If you think this amounts to a PG-13, you don't understand ratings and should not watch this movie. Your loss but our gain in one less cranky complaint.) Fair warning: Do not see this movie if you have recently lost a dog or a loved one! Marley & Me is an alternately hilarious and deeply moving tapestry about the marriage of two journalists -- the ever-affable Owen Wilson has a comfortable chemistry with Jennifer Aniston -- as seen through the metaphor of the husband's birthday gift to his wife: Marley aka Clearance Puppy aka "the worst dog in the world." Marley's tremendous spirit shows in his boundless energy and a lifetime of relentless chewing. Clearly the movie played up Marley's rebelliousness -- The Dog Whisperer this is not -- but if you don't know why a couple would keep such a destructive dog then you have never loved a dog. (Does a parent disown a child?) The deep love and faithfulness of the Grogans for each other and for Marley is incredible -- and precisely the ultimate moral of the story: In the end, we love each other not because we are perfect but because of and in spite of our flaws. Memories and joy are made not from tidiness but the tumult of life. 4.5 stars.

Arlington Road (1999)

Arlington Road is one of my favorite Jeff Bridges vehicles because he plays so well the professor-on-the-fringe coming unhinged. He's not as far gone as Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory but his take on reality is more visceral so his unraveling is more climactic. (Talk about overacting: I think you can see the snot running down from his nose.) What's really chilling to me though is Tim Robbins as his neighbor -- not just an innocuous Timothy McVeigh in white-bread suburbia but the leader of a domestic terrorist cell with his ice-veined wife Joan Cusack. Bridges' role may be a tad overdone but Roth's and Cusack's are chillingly understated. That -- and the movie's perverse final moments -- are what makes Arlington Road hard to put out of my mind and a movie I'm pleased to own. 4 stars.

Bedtime Stories (2008)

Bedtime Stories is, pure and simple, a children's movie as giddy and fun as you can get outside of animation from a major studio -- or previously from Adam Sandler himself, for that matter. Well-known for never having let go of his inner child, Sandler's movies usually bear the outward taint of blue adult language. My favorite Sandler vehicles have been cleanest in that regard: Punch Drunk Love, Spanglish, and Happy Madison. (I haven't seen Reign Over Me yet.) Bedtime Stories now joins that list, precisely because it's full of an infectious childlike glee -- even as Sandler's man-child character wrestles with how to harness such archetypal imagination to his benefit. Our story begins when uncle Skeeter (Sandler) is asked to take on night-shift babysitting duty for the two children of his estranged sister (Courtney Cox) during her business trip. Her best friend (Keri Russell) has the day shift. The cute urchins' mom won't let them watch TV or eat nonorganic food (much less sugar) so Skeeter resorts to telling them bedtime stories to lull them to sleep. (There's a wonderful bookend to the movie about how the father of Skeeter and his sister told them his own bedtime stories when they were kids.) The children pitch in with their own contributions to the story and the next day the story, in its own ways, comes true (including a literal gumball shower). Skeeter begins to experiment with (or try to manipulate) a bedtime story that will benefit his career and fulfill his life's dream -- a promise denied him for 20 years -- though often to comic effect. Stories range from settings in the Wild West to Star Wars, including lightsaber-type weapons that could only have come from the Three Stooges had they been Jedi knights. In the end, Bedtime Stories is a heartwarming and infectiously sweet movie about reconnecting with family and fulfilling a father's legacy and one's own destiny. Yes, it has goofy and cornball scenes, a few fart jokes, and a big green booger monster but Adam worked hard to keep it clean. It's a fun movie just for kids -- and any adults who are still in touch with their inner child. 4 stars.

Grand Canyon Adventure: River at Risk (2008)

This is a well-done, inspiring documentary that summarizes the discovery and preservation of the Grand Canyon, our single greatest national treasure. Robert Redford lends his narration as well as his moral authority to this production, which I saw ten months ago in the science museum's IMAX theater. 4.5 stars.

Bad Santa (2003)

Really, I do love every role Billy Bob Thornton has played. However, his role in Bad Santa is almost as greasy as in U Turn (good) but grittier than a hot dog full of sand (myeh!). Working hourly wages by day as a department-store Santa with his little-person partner-in-crime (Tony Cox) as a Santa's elf, Thornton cases a store's security the plans and executes an inside-job heist before moving on to the next target. (Sort of redefines "seasonal worker," doesn't it?) That wouldn't be enough to carry the story by itself, however, so we have Thornton as a thoroughly obnoxious and seedy guy -- often coming to work drunk, bitching at the kids, hitting on the moms, scratching his private parts, and being found banging fat ugly chicks in the dressing rooms while on extended breaks. He's so gross but manages to attract a fashion-plate-in-overalls girlfriend who has a thing for having sex with Santa. Bad Santa is train-wreck cinema, turning hallowed holiday traditions on their ear then farting in their face. Some will love the gross-out scenes, others should just stay away. You know who you are. 2 stars. (1-16-07 updated 4-5-09)

Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

Monsters vs. Aliens led in box-office receipts ($56 million) by a factor of 2.5 when it opened last week and, judging from the packed-with-families theater my son and I sat in yesterday, it will continue to do well. (Our 3D theater was near-capacity, even at $9/seat, with twice as many 2D screenings available.) True, seeing this movie in 3D was cool, but to be honest, after a few token "gotcha" scenes in the previews and first ten minutes, it didn't seem to have been used much to best effect (grr). The movie evoked regular bursts of laughter from kids and adults so it seems to be a hit with all age groups. As an adult, I personally loved the hidden references to old monster and sci-fi movies and Stephen Colbert as the President was a hoot. I also cackled at the woman in the conference room who screamed (straight out of the vintage movies) at the presentation of every one of the monsters. I greatly enjoyed the back-story of how each of the monsters came to be (esp. Hugh Laurie's Dr. Cockroach) and sure, their actual characters and roles in the story were OK, but I felt they could have been more effective. (Except Seth Rogan's BOB the Blob: He was about as funny and effective as he could be.) Reese Witherspoon as the (I presume) 50-foot-tall Susan (aka Ginormica) was the star of the show as she discovered and embraced her destiny and saved the day (with the others' help, of course). Rainn Wilson as Gallaxhar was a stitch as the evil overlord wannabe (esp. when tag-team rolling his five-eyed visage) and Kiefer Sutherland played the monsters' military nanny as Gen. W.R. Monger. The voice talent was all flawless and the script was full of plenty of funny bits (esp. for those who could catch the often-just-implied movie references). The chase scenes got wacky (with auto cars and jet cars used as Susan's skates) and, sure, some scenes were cheesy -- but that's all in the spirit of monster movies. Be sure to stay till the President presses the wrong big red button in the middle of the closing credits but there's nothing more after that. You may go home now, citizens, and live your lives in safety and freedom thanks to your government and its leaders. 4.5 stars.

Eagle Eye (2008)

I cadged Eagle Eye as a free-Wednesdays redbox rental and have to say it is an awesome high-tech thriller! It's basically Cellular meets Enemy of the State with some cool "I can't do that, Dave" stuff mixed in. I love the premise and how it develops -- it kept me on the edge of my seat. As a high-tech industry person for 30 years, I recognize that Eagle Eye is science fiction -- but the best sci-fi extrapolates beyond what is already possible to pose questions or warnings about what could become imminent reality. Eagle Eye covers the high-tech stuff extremely well, esp. when mixing terror alerts and surveillance technology with everything else we rely on in our now chillingly pervasive electronic world. (All the data is there. God save us when someone links it all together.) Shia LeBoeuf and Monica Monaghan make a believable team as two citizens thrown together in the midst of the greatest national-security crisis this nation could ever face. The insidious and pervasive nature of the plot is what rivets you to the chair but Shia and Monica keep you there. Billy Bob Thornton as the don't-sass-me lead FBI agent in pursuit does his usual extraordinary magic in the role. All the supporting roles fit in well too, no matter how small, esp. as they are drawn into the same emerging threat as Shia and Monica. The car chases and crashes were real popcorn-crunchers too. See this movie! More than a thrill ride, it's a warning to bear in mind lest our future become such a brave new world. 5 stars.

Amadeus (1984)

Amadeus is a tour-de-force romp through Tom Hulce's manic mind as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, the demigod of classical music who could party down like it was 1789 and probably died of consumption at the age of 34. "Wolfie" to his buxom wife Constanza or "Stanzi" (Elizabeth Berridge), Mozart achieved immortality in human history through his soaring, lyrical, divinely inspired compositions that came to him as-is, first draft, virtually perfect, without revisions. So inspired and passionate for his art as to seem at times insane (oh, that laugh!), Hulce as Mozart tears up every scene with prima-donna impishness or insults. The best scene is when the civil and musical authorities (including his patron and his boss) tell Mozart his music has "too many notes" -- so he challenges them to pick which ones to remove. Other memorable scenes depict how he feeds the slow burn that the lesser court composer Domenico Scarlatti (F. Murray Abraham) held against him. The premise of the movie is a tenuous one historically: Scarlatti confesses on his deathbed how he hated Mozart all his life and engineered his death. More than just a doozie of a whodunnit, Amadeus is a wonderful psychological study of the gradual corruption of Scarlatti's soul from a vain young boy (who blithely welcomed God's "answer" to his prayer to pursue a musical career) to a hopelessly bitter old man (ardently jealous of Mozart's greater gift and fame while furious at God for so favoring a less pious person). Here are my favorite performances of all from Hulce and Abraham and the music is a constant delight too. (Gotta love Sir Neville Marriner and the Academy of St. Martin in the Fields!) For these reasons it took 8 Oscars -- including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actor -- and I'll never tire of seeing and listening to Amadeus "one more time, from the top!" 5 stars.

Coraline (2008)

I've seen Coraline twice in the theaters, in 2D and in 3D with my two favorite 11-year-olds. Here is a movie that is a marvel in stopmotion animation with only rarely visible patches where the illusion wears thin (and a corner must have been cut). Teri Hatcher's evil "Other Mom" is a beguiling black widow of a character who gradually maneuvers to ensnare Coraline, who is determined to escape and to rescue others. The spider motif only comes out, full fangs bared, near the end; most of the movie is concerned with what seems real and what might not be in Coraline's new home in Oregon. Her parents are gardening authors who can't stand dirt and are busy writing under deadline, so Coraline is sent to explore the strange old boarding house where they've settled. Doors and mirrors are not what they seem and the house's other inhabitants are delightfully eccentric: a Russian acrobat above and two long-faded actresses below -- plus mice and more. Coraline also finds a conspirator in Wybee, at some distance the closest neighbor, and his black cat. Many more fantastic and beautiful and eerie elements abound, depending on which layer of the story Coraline is in. The button-eyes and alternate-universe themes of this movie carry a primal power for the imagination and my youngest son had bad dreams because of the sinister spider woman. 4.5 stars. (3-18-09 posted 4-2-09)

Memento (2000)

Memento is one of those rare intellectual powerhouse movies that makes you think hard -- or at least try to take stock of what really happened. As such, I put it at the top of a very short list that includes The Matrix trilogy, Pi, Primer, and The Fountain. It's the only movie in such a list that I've felt driven to watch eight times to date. So far I *think* I've figured out the complete story arc -- though I seem to want to remain in denial if nihilism or disappointment possibly figures in here as with The Matrix trilogy. (Nothing dashes one's appreciation for a movie's complexity than a red herring, deus ex machina, or a director's "Just kidding!") In any event, Christopher Nolan's Memento stands out as a taut, driven crime thriller -- a whodunnit that mesmerizes by dint of its characters and tight and convoluted (nonlinear) structure. In essence, just watch the opening scene -- I don't want to give anything away. Then watch the rest of the movie -- I don't want to diminish your viewing experience from a fresh perspective. You'll quickly pick up that segments or episodes are not told in their normal temporal order. Segments overlap by a second or two so you can begin stitching together the linear timeline as you go -- but you won't be able to complete the integration until you've seen the "last" scene (which brings you back to the "opening" scene). Or you may need to see the movie eight or more times. (If you have seen it for less than six times and think you have it figured out, make your case to me and we'll see if it floats.) The whole cast is memorable and excellent. Guy Pearce is Leonard, a crime victim with brain trauma who, despite his inability to make or retain new memories of any kind, has devoted his life to finding and killing his wife's murderer. Joe Pantoliano is "Teddy," who claims to be his "friend" and may or may not be a cop (clean? dirty?). Carrie-Anne Moss is Natalie, who befriends Leonard for her own reasons. Key to the narrative is the question: Can Leonard trust anyone? Can he even trust himself? You'll have to decide on your own. Let me know what you think. 5 stars.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

There is smart-dumb and there is dumb-dumb. Smart-dumb would explain why I love Get Smart, The Office, The Tick etc. Smart-dumb is ironic, referential, and spoofy or even campy. It takes intelligence to play this kind of idiot and smart people appreciate that. We "get" the in-joke. Dumb-dumb would probably explain why I fail to be impressed with Austin Powers. Dumb-dumb is broad, ham-handed, and schmaltzy. I "get" what they're trying to present as funny, but for the life of me it just isn't. In his Austin Powers persona, Mike Myers has huge bad teeth. (Is this supposed to make fun of the Brits? Lame!) Revived straight from the "sexual revolution" of the 1960s, Austin wears fashion mockeries in purple velvet and his refrain is, "Do I make you horny, baby?" (No woman in her right mind...) I know Austin has lots of fans who find him novel, nostalgic, or even hilarious but speaking for myself: Thud! Starched cat? Not amused. "One million dollars"? Not amused. "Number two"? Not amused. "Throw me a freaking bone here"? Not amused. Killer fembots with guns in their "jumblies"? Not amused (and a little weirded out). I could go on -- but a few marginally chucklesome bits lead me to say "Oh, all right, maybe it's not a total loss": (1) The computer-narrated urination process. (You know that some day all our technology will come to this.) (2) "That's not my p-n-s enlarger!" (I do not appreciate sex-toy jokes at all but the series of verbatim rebuttals was classic.) (3) "Please -- help me! I'm burned! It really hurts!" (A botched incinerant interrupts Dr. Evil's rant.) (4) Seth Green as Dr. Evil's son: "No! Don't put them in the unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism! They'll get away! Listen -- I have a gun in my room! I'll go get it! I'll shoot them! Then they'll be dead!" These bits mainly rely on tweaking movie conventions. I will say this: The movie is smugly self-confident and original for a derivative retrofest. They obviously had a great deal of fun making it and garnered a shipload of fans -- even if it is all "for sh-ts and giggles." 2.5 stars.

Mamma Mia! (2008)

Mamma Mia is clearly a musical salvo of spangly flares sent up for the nostalgic delight of ABBA fans (and, to a lesser degree, aficionados of musicals in general). The vast majority of ABBA fans are women, with an accompanying arc of gay men and a small tracery of het men. I am not a straight man who was coerced into seeing Mamma Mia since I do not brand (and avoid) any movie that a woman would watch as a "chick flick." (To me, a chick flick is any movie starring primarily or only women who talk and emote about emotions. On a parallel vein, "date movies" are not "chick flicks" because men are supposed to be one-half of each dating or marriage relationship.) Sure, I wanted to see Mamma Mia -- but a female voting bloc meant that I saw it sooner than I would have solo. Make no mistake, Mamma Mia's music and choreography make for lyrical, heady, trippy fun -- more because of ABBA's comfortable nostalgia than cogent or groundbreaking art. (You don't dance your heart out in Manolo Blahniks.) Others' complaints aside, I found the movie to be a blast. It is, however, largely if almost thoroughly fluff: giddy fluff, girly fluff, blonder than Legally Blonde fluff, jawdroppingly astounding to men fluff. It's like I've been transported to a world men rarely see (and try to escape from when they do): Estrogen City, Girl Talk Bay, Dishtown, Confidant Cove, and Pealing Squeals Heights. Yikes! While bride-to-be Amanda Seyfried is a gorgeous young woman and singer, her deviousness with wedding invitations only proves how outgunned men will always be on women's turf. Reading her mother's 20-year-old diary to her gal pals is a hoot: "Dot dot dot! That's what they said back then!" Meryl Streep is a surprisingly gifted singer and dancer -- is there nothing this woman cannot do? -- and her musical-revue reunion (with Julie Walters and Christine Baranski) always entertains. I continually cackled at the terse man-to-man interaction, '60s flashbacks, and gameface singing chops of Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard, and Pierce Brosnan -- who acquits himself quite well in my opinion, since singing requires more of a courageous than a command performance. Anyway, the story's premise exists because none of these men could talk about their feelings much less sing -- yet in droll comedic fashion, here they are in a musical! (Lighten up, people!) The morally conservative may have a problem with this comedy's premise that Meryl's character was intimate with three men during the month she conceived her daughter, however, her romantic vulnerability at the time is explained and she is declaimed as otherwise maternal, moral, hardworking, and even dowdy. While this musical makes marginal if comedic references to sex (viz. Christine's older-woman put-down of the cabana boy) and the middle lost my interest during a lot of inexplicable running and singing at night, Mamma Mia is a family film experience that many parents may choose to share with their sons and daughters 13 and older. 4 stars.

One Fine Day (1996)

One Fine Day arrived just before The Peacemaker as jut-jawed George Clooney with his impish twinkle and macho swagger began migrating his overwhelming popularity on two TV seasons of ER by winning fans on the silver screen. (After The Peacemaker, Batman & Robin, and O Brother Where Art Thou, he was officially Hollywood gold.) His pairing in One Fine Day with the attractive and talented Michelle Pfeiffer makes for wonderful chemistry and the two make the most of it from dawn to dusk in this script. As our story opens, each star plays a single parent with a surpassingly demanding professional day -- and their tykes miss their field trip. She has a critical international presentation to make and he has a major investigative article to complete. They can't stand each other but learn to cooperate to make it through the day. Aside from the too-tidy Hollywood trope of falling in love in one day (or in one soul-searching gaze or embrace), One Fine Day is a rollicking adventure of romance with cute kids in tow that is always welcome for an encore viewing in my book. 4 stars.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is True Lies five years later if Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis had a falling out or received mutual sanction orders. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is One Fine Day if George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer were married (sans kids) and had access each to their own military-grade weapon arsenals. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are superb in their roles as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." Each spouse, unbeknownst to the other, has been a lethal assassin for hire, perhaps at times for opposing agencies or sides. Trained not to reveal anything personal about themselves to anyone, their affluent yet sanitized married life involves never talking about their work and archly commenting on the peas in their evening meal. Ultimately, Mrs. Smith receives a contract to kill Mr. Smith and vice versa. Guns and rocket launchers soon commence to blaze. They race each other home and begin pockmarking and shredding the walls of their lovely home with rounds of automatic weapons fire. "Baby...? Are you still alive...?" says Angelina as she stalks her prey. Their married-couple affection (real or feigned -- who knows with a contract killer?) is a wonderful comic foil to their ballistic mayhem, which is obviously just a coarser expression of any marital tiff or spat. One thing is certain: You won't hear Angelina say "I'm going home to mother!" 4.5 stars.

A Shot in the Dark (1964)

The opening scenes for A Shot in the Dark, the low-key second Pink Panther vehicle starring Peter Sellers, depict a 1960s-era feeding frenzy of clandestine trysts in what turns out to be the mansion of the wealthy man who becomes Inspector Jacques Clouseau's chief murder suspect -- before the namesake shot in the dark. It's all a plant or a tell for Clouseau's revelation of the real killer, so pay attention. Actually that's not fair, because Clouseau assumes one killer is responsible for the murder he is investigating as well as the dozen or so murders that ensue. After a fresh fix of Inspector Clouseau cartoons and Henry Mancini's archly lissom Pink Panther theme music during the opening credits, Sellers returns to his understatedly maudlin portrayal of the idiot savant French detective. (He's a legend in his own mind and a klutz, a putz, and a yutz to boot.) For physical humor, his pool-cue ploy is masterful but the brunt of Sellers' humor here is intellectual: "I knew that" and "I know what I have been saying" etc. when to the casual observer anything else would be obvious. Or, perhaps like Columbo, is his idiocy merely part of his brilliant strategy? We also see Sellers' developing linguistic genius as he analyzes the "beump on the head" of the maid that Clouseau's boss, the Chief Commissioner, would like to charge with the crime. His nerdishly romantic fascination with the maid (the cloyingly sexual Elke Sommers) eventually carries them to bed -- but there is the little matter of his Chinese houseboy (Burt Kwouk), who has been instructed to "attack without mercy" to help keep up Clouseau's asserted alertness and martial-arts skills. Meanwhile, Clouseau's boss (Herbert Lom) is twitchingly going off the deep end in his frustration over Clouseau, a theme that will be artfully carried into future Pink Panther sequels. Look for what I presume are the Mancini orchestra members playing the Pink Panther theme song at the nudist colony and listen for the comic off-camera twang of the borrowed guitar Clouseau hides his thighs behind. 4 stars.